Land of the Living
by St. Severus of Spinner's End
Summary: Twenty years after Voldemort's final defeat, Severus Snape returns from the dead. He has a chance to find love. Will the damage done to his soul when he killed Dumbledore prevent him from finding happiness?
1. Chapter 1

It was a dark and stormy night, the sort of which bad novels are made. Rain lashed the Astronomy tower at Hogwarts, driven almost horizontal by the shrieking wind. The metal door to the roof was blown open and clanged against its frame, making a sound like a cracked bell. This was not an unusual occurrence. Lightening struck the tower. This was also not an unusual occurrence.

In the Great Hall, Minerva McGonagall was having hot chocolate and toast, and reading the evening_Prophet. _On the third page was an article describing the murder of a witch named Mavis Harris, by means of the Killing Curse. There was no apparent motive for the murder, but the article did mention the fact that Miss Harris had been Muggle-born. Minerva sighed. Apparently pureblood mania was alive and well in the wizarding world. She finished her chocolate, then rose to make her way back to her office, and the bedchamber above it.

She had spent the afternoon going over her list of magical children who had turned eleven in the past year, or would during the summer, and sending owls off with personalized copies of The Letter to those born to wizarding families. Over the next week or so, she and those of her staff who remained at the castle year round would be hand-delivering letters to the Muggle-borns and explaining the situation to their parents. She entered the office, passing the softly snoring portraits of former Hogwarts headmasters. Only Severus Snape's image was awake. He seemed to be shivering slightly, as though he were feeling the chill of the rain outside.

"Something wrong, Severus?" Minerva asked.

"I don't know, Minerva," he replied softly. "I woke up a bit ago feeling… cold."

"I wasn't aware that you portraits were capable of feeling the temperature," she said, somewhat incredulous.

"We're not," said Snape. "At least, we're not supposed to be. Anyway, it's not a physical sensation. More like a premonition."

"A premonition? Of what?" Now Minerva was concerned. In her twenty years as headmistress of Hogwarts, she had never known a portrait to have a premonition.

"I don't know." Snape seemed distant, as though the spirit that informed his portrait was being drawn away.

"Should I send for Professor Carlin?"

Snape thought a moment, and then said, "No, no need."

"You're certain it's nothing serious?" Minerva was still worried.

"Oh, I'm quite certain it's something deadly serious." He seemed to collect himself. "But whatever it is, it will reveal itself soon enough. We can deal with it when the time comes. "He stifled a yawn. He was getting sleepy. "You may as well go off to bed."

Amid the rain and the wind, something like smoke began to rise from the roof. Instead of being blown away, it began to gather in front of the clanging door. It congealed and solidified, taking the form of a naked human male, almost skeletal in form. The form drew itself to its hands and knees and raised its head. Then it opened its mouth and gave forth a cry of anguish that might have come from a damned soul in the depths of hell. The sound was carried away by the wind.

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Argus Filch climbed the stairs that led to the Astronomy tower, Mrs. Norris the Fourth following at his heels. The door to the roof didn't come unhinged after every storm, but it did so often enough that it was worth his while to make the trip up there to check. Sure enough, as he reached the top, he saw the morning sunlight streaming through the doorway.

He set his toolbox on the floor and prepared to start work, when the cat began meowing insistently. He turned to see what was bothering her. The cat was standing in the stairwell, staring at a pale shape. " 'Ere, now, Mrs. Norris, what is it?" He moved in closer, and found something that could barely be called a man, naked, curled in a fetal position, facing the wall. The ribs and vertebrae were clearly visible through the skin, the arms and legs looked like matchsticks. Who, or what, was it, and what the bloody hell was it doing here? He moved toward it, and it pulled away. "Right, then," he said. He seized it by the hair and pulled it to its knees, forcing it to face him. "What are you doing…" then, suddenly he let go as recognition struck him. The face was hardly more than a skull with skin stretched over it, eyes sunk far back into its sockets, but it was a face he knew nonetheless. It was the face of Severus Snape.

Snape said nothing,. He only turned away. Quickly, Filch took his cloak off and covered Snape with it. "How…?" he started to ask, but was not quite sure what the rest of the question was. Snape only shook his head. Finally, Filch said, "Come on, Professor, let's get you to the hospital wing." He helped Snape to his feet and half led, half carried him down the stairs.

Minerva sat behind her desk and listened in disbelief as Filch told her what he had found on the roof of the Astronomy tower. She turned to Snape's portrait for an explanation, but it was apparent from his expression that he was just as bewildered as she was, perhaps more so. From the frame beside Snape's, Dumbledore's portrait mused "This is certainly unexpected," but offered no further comment.

"How can this be?" Minerva asked, addressing Snape.

"I have no idea, Minerva," Snape, or rather his image replied, then added, "Perhaps you should send for Professor Carlin after all."

"Indeed," said Minerva. "I'll send her an owl as soon as I've had a look at you. Or him. Or… whatever!" With that, she stood and followed Filch to the hospital wing.

"He's in a bad way," Madam Pomfrey told Minerva as she led her through the hospital wing to the isolation ward. "Skin and bones, hardly a scrap of flesh on him. I tried to give him a strengthening potion, but he wouldn't drink it. He shouldn't even be alive, but, well, here he is." The school nurse tapped the stone wall with her wand, revealing a door, which she opened. Minerva was appalled at what she saw inside. Severus Snape lay in the bed, eyes closed. His face was barely recognizable. The skin that was stretched over his skull was pale and sickly gray. The skinny neck seemed incapable of supporting his head, should he try to lift it. His hands were folded over his chest, and she could easily make out the bones in them. A goblet full of the pale green potion that Madam Pomfrey had given up trying to feed him sat on the bedside table. Minerva approached the foot of the bed.

"Severus?" she spoke his name softly.

Severus opened his eyes. They were black wells. "Minerva." His voice was weak and thready.

Minerva sat down on a chair beside his bed. "I don't suppose you can tell me what you're doing here."

"I was rather hoping someone could tell me," Severus replied quietly. So much for explanations.

"I suppose we'll have to leave it to Professor Carlin to sort out, then."

"Professor Carlin?"

Minerva was surprised that Severus did not recognize the name, and then remembered that while his portrait had met her, Severus himself had not. "Our Defense Against the Dark Arts instructor," she explained. "I'll be sending her an owl telling her that you've rejoined the living, and asking her to come investigate."

"And how long has she been teaching here?"

"Three years." Minerva knew where the question was leading.

"So the curse on that position has been broken."

"Yes."

Severus seemed to relax a bit. He bit his lip. "And the Dark Lord?"

"Gone for good. Harry Potter saw to that. Incidentally, his youngest will be starting at Hogwarts next term."

At this, Severus seemed to brighten a bit. "Potter survived?" He tried to sit up, but the effort was too much for him, and he collapsed back onto his pillow. He took a deep breath and let it out, then turned his head to face the headmistress again. "Minerva, exactly how long have I been gone?"

"Twenty years," she informed him.

"Twenty years," he repeated. "Such a long time, not to feel its passing." He fell silent once more. It became apparent to Minerva that he had run out of conversation, which was understandable, considering the circumstances. Any further questioning would be pointless, and at any rate, he probably had as many questions as she did. Answers, for the time being, were not forthcoming.

Finally, she said, "Well, I 'm going to leave you to get some rest. I have a fair bit of work waiting for me in my office."

Severus nodded slightly in acknowledgement. She stood and walked out of the ward.

Minerva walked slowly back to her office. It was impossible. The dead simply didn't return. There were spells, she knew, dark rituals, that could bring the deceased back to a semblance of life. Had someone used such a ritual to revive Severus? It did not seem likely, after twenty years. Such spells were almost never successful if the person being revived, if that was the proper word, had been dead more than three days, let alone two decades. Yet Severus Snape was alive. She had seen him. She had talked to him. Her mind was barely able to take the fact in.

She was almost certain that dark magic was involved in Severus's return, though she couldn't say how. Severus himself had claimed he did not know how or why he had come back, and she felt inclined to believe him. She hoped she could trust her instincts in the matter. Even if she were wrong, at the moment Severus was in no condition to be able to start making trouble. It would take time for him to regain strength.

As soon as she arrived in her office, Severus's image, which was in Dumbledore's frame, apparently conferring with him about the strange turn of events, turned to her and asked, "Well, Minerva, how am I?"

"You'll live," she replied crisply.

"But will I enjoy it?"

"Now, Severus, there's no need to be pessimistic," Dumbledore chided gently. "If you have returned from beyond, I'm sure there's a reason for it. Granted, what that reason is remains to be seen, but nothing in this world happens without a purpose."

"I fail to see what purpose could be served by my coming back from the dead." Severus's image turned and returned to his own frame. Then he addressed Minerva. "So, what kind of shape am I in?"

"Physically or mentally?"

"Both."

"Not good on either count. You are most pitifully thin and severely depressed, though I must say, you, or perhaps I should say he, seemed pleased to learn that Harry Potter is alive and well."

"That much I could have predicted. Was he able to provide any insight on how or why he has returned?"

"No. He seems as much at a loss on that point as we are."

"I suppose we shall have to wait until Professor Carlin arrives and completes her investigation if we are to discover the reason for Severus' return," interjected Dumbledore. "Anything that we could come up with would be merely idle speculation."

"I agree," said Minerva. "Now, if the two of you will excuse me, I have a letter to write." She picked up her quill, dipped it in ink, and composed the missive, giving as much detail as she could. Then she tied the letter to her owl's leg, opened the window and released the bird. There was nothing she could do now but wait. She watched the owl until it disappeared from sight, and then sighed and turned her attention to the pile of post-term paperwork that lay on her desk.


	2. Chapter 2

Severus lay curled up on his side in his bed in the isolation ward. He was trying desperately to sleep, to return to the oblivion from which he had been cast forth. He longed to escape from the memory of a life that had served him up little but cruelty- cruelty that he had returned in kind, and tenfold, and all too often unleashed upon those who deserved it least. There was little to distract him from the echoes of a thousand torments he had inflicted on his students or anyone else who happened to incur his displeasure, over the years. Then, he had felt justified. Now, it all seemed senseless. When he was awake, the memories haunted him. Sleep was his only refuge.

He turned onto his back and stared at the ceiling, allowing his eyes to wander along the cracks between the stones. The room looked like it should be cold, but was actually quite cozy. Several colorful tapestries broke up the grey stone of the walls, and there was a painting of a horse contentedly munching apples in an orchard. Poppy Pomfrey had been in and out of the room all the previous day. Severus still found it disconcerting to see how much she and Minerva McGonagall had aged. He had barely managed to comprehend that he had been dead for twenty years.

The news that Harry Potter had survived the war had lifted his spirits enough that he had at last allowed Poppy to feed him the bitter strengthening potion. He had eaten little, in spite of Poppy's coaxing. He didn't have much of an appetite.

Minerva had visited him twice each day since he had washed up on the beach of the cosmic ocean. The encounters had been a bit awkward. The first morning she had come to ask him what he was doing here- thankfully she had not pressed the matter when he was unable to provide an answer. She had looked in on him each morning, and again before retiring, but had not attempted to engage him in conversation. She would ask him if he had slept well, or managed to eat, and he would tell her he had, and that would be the end of it. She probably didn't know what to say. The last time he had seen Minerva before his death, she, Pomona Sprout and Filius Flitwick had driven him from the castle. She had called him a coward as he fled. He was surprised how willing she now seemed simply to accept the fact of his return. Had he been in her position, he would not have been so trusting.

A knock came at the door, which then opened. Minerva entered, followed by a rather pretty but severely windblown young woman in a pink cutoff t-shirt and a colorful patchwork wrap skirt. Were it not for the broomstick she was carrying, he would not have figured her for a witch. He wondered where she was concealing her wand.

Minerva introduced the young woman. "Severus, this is Professor Carlin. Serene Carlin, Severus Snape."

Professor Carlin moved closer. "It's an honor to meet you," she said, in a Colonial accent. He wondered if she was American or Canadian. As she stepped into the sunlight that was streaming through the window, he saw that there was sand stuck to her lower legs and sandaled feet. Her skin and curly brown hair were encrusted in a whitish substance he realized was salt. Apparently, she had been enjoying a day at the seaside when she had received Minerva's owl, and returned to Hogwarts in such haste that she had not bothered to shower. He wondered briefly what she would taste like. "Pleasure's all mine," he managed to say.

"Well, I'll leave the two of you to it," said Minerva. She turned and left the room, closing the door behind her.

"So, you've come to interrogate me, have you?" he asked coolly.

"Oh, yes. I intend to grill you thoroughly," she said, smiling. Her right front tooth was chipped.

He found himself smiling back. "Will you be eating me afterward?" He couldn't believe he had just asked her that.

"Nah. Not enough meat on you. I might use you for a toothpick, though." She leaned her broomstick against the wall, pulled up a chair and sat down. So far, this was going well. He turned to study her face. It was heart shaped, with wide-set grey eyes, a slightly upturned nose, and lips that were just a bit too thin to make for a rosebud mouth. "So, Professor McGonagall tells me you have no idea what you're doing being alive," she said.

"None whatsoever," he affirmed.

"And you turned up on top of the Astronomy tower."

He nodded.

"The place where you killed Albus Dumbledore." She said it matter-of-factly, with no judgment upon him. Still, he felt a stab of pain.

"Yes."

"Did you see anyone else on the roof when you came back?"

"No. No one at all, until Argus Filch found me."

"Didn't figure. I can't imagine anyone would bri… find you and leave you out in a rain storm."

_Did she just almost say "bring you back?"_ "You don't know me very well," he told her. "Believe me, Professor, there is no shortage of people who would quite happily leave me out in the rain. I honestly can't say I would blame them."

"Call me Serene. Was there anything else on the roof? Any artifacts?"

"Not that I noticed." He looked directly into her eyes. "You think perhaps someone used some dark ritual to call me back into existence." It was not a question.

"I'm not ready to rule out the possibility," she admitted. "There are still a lot of people around who aren't quite convinced that you were on the side of sweetness and light during the war, and some of those people were Voldemort supporters- Death Eaters without a leader, looking for someone to rally around."

"I thought they would have been rounded up and sent to Azkaban," he said dryly.

"Most of them were," Serene allowed. "But some of them went underground. A few of them ended up on my side of the pond and started making a heap of trouble, promoting pureblood supremacy. Fortunately, the U.S. Department of Magic takes a dim view of that sort of ideology."

Severus absorbed this a moment, then asked, "If someone wanted to bring me back, why wait twenty years? One would think that in that time, someone would have emerged as the strongest, someone who could dominate the rest, be accepted as their leader."

Serene shrugged. "Who knows? Maybe it took them that long to figure out how to do it. Anyway, it's pure speculation on my part."

"You have other ideas?"

Suddenly, she turned her eyes away. It occurred to him that she would be aware of his skills as a legilimens. "I have one, but I'm not ready to go there yet. Not until I have more information."

He considered pressing the question, but decided to let the matter drop. "Carry on, then," he said.

She hesitated a moment, bit her lip, and finally said, "Alright. Just one more thing." She took a deep breath, turned to face him again, and said, "Tell me what was going through your mind when you killed Dumbledore."

Pain shot through Severus. Tears stung at his eyes and he blinked them back. "You know that the Dark Lord originally assigned the task to Draco Malfoy."

Serene nodded. "It's part of the official history."

"And that I'd made the Unbreakable Vow to his mother to finish the task if he couldn't."

Her eyes widened. "No, that, I didn't know."

Severus drew a deep breath and continued. "The whole of that year, I had been hoping to find a way out of it, hoping that perhaps Dumbledore would die peacefully in his sleep and I could claim to the Dark Lord that I had poisoned him. I even discussed the possibility with him. He laughed and said he would see if he could manage it."

"But he didn't manage," Serene's tone was sympathetic.

"No, he didn't." Severus stared hard at the wall. It was becoming increasingly difficult for him to maintain his composure. "Standing there on that roof, looking at him, sick and weak as he was, I thought, 'I could just not do it. I could escape into death and be out of it.' Then I realized Dumbledore knew what I was thinking. He begged, pleaded with me to kill him. He was the only person in my whole adult life who had shown me kindness, and he knew that his death would leave me utterly alone, with everyone I cared about thinking me his murderer. In that moment, I hated him more than I had ever hated anyone in my life. I raised my wand and pronounced the curse, and then it was over. After that, I grabbed Draco and dragged him out of there. I just wanted to be the hell away from that place." He ended there. He did not feel it was necessary to describe his encounter with Harry Potter outside Hagrid's hut, and he thought Serene would agree it was not relevant if she learned of it later.

A heavy silence filled the room. In spite of Severus' best efforts to contain his emotions, a single tear escaped from his right eye. Serene reached over and brushed it away.

"You okay?" she asked gently.

Severus swallowed hard. "I've been trying to avoid thinking about that night."

"I wouldn't have asked about it if I didn't think it was necessary," she said softly.

"I know." He turned away. "Would you please go now?" He wasn't angry with her; he just wanted to be alone.

"You're sure you're okay?" Her face was worried.

"I'm sure. Please…"

"Alright. I'll go." She stood and crossed the room. As she reached the door, she turned and asked, "Can I come back and look in on you later?"

Severus nodded and Serene picked up her broomstick, turned and disappeared through the door, closing it quietly. As soon he was sure she had gone, he turned onto his side, buried his face in his pillow and began to sob convulsively.

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Minerva was just finishing up her paperwork, and deciding which teachers to send where in the matter of delivering the letters inviting Muggle-born children to attend Hogwarts when Serene Carlin entered her office. "Well, did he tell you anything you would find helpful?" she queried.

"Plenty," replied Serene. She sat down without waiting for an invitation.

"And have you reached any conclusions?"

Serene shook her head. "Not yet. I still want to check out the Astronomy tower, see if I can find anything up there. And I really don't want to start formulating any theories until I've had a shower and some sleep. I've been up for thirty hours, and I'm knackered."

"Of course, dear," said Minerva. She knew Serene had been on a beach in Spain when she had gotten the owl. The distance was too great to apparate, and she had a long night's hard flying back to the castle. "Shall I have the house elves bring you something to eat in your room?"

"That would be wonderful. Now if you don't mind, I'm off to bed." She rose and left the office.

"She suspects more than she's letting on," commented Severus's portrait.

"I suppose she doesn't want to give out anything that she's not reasonably certain of herself," Minerva replied.

"That would," added Dumbledore, "seem the wisest course of action."


	3. Chapter 3

"I've been all over the roof of the Astronomy tower and turned up nada," Serene reported to Minerva. "Of course, physical traces could have been washed away by the rain, but magical ones wouldn't. I think we can safely rule out dark rituals, unless someone has figured out a way of doing them remotely."

Minerva was somewhat relieved to hear this. Resurrection Spells, when they were successful, usually produced dangerous results. The formerly dead were usually not pleased to have had their rest disturbed. They also had a way of snacking on friends and relatives, and when prevented from doing so, tended to start rotting.

"Have you any other ideas of what may have precipitated Severus's return?" Minerva asked her.

"Just one, but it doesn't seem any more likely than dark rituals."

"What is it then?"

"I'd rather not say," Serene told her. "At least not until I've done some serious research."

This response disturbed Minerva. It should not have, really. She knew Serene Carlin to be a rather cautious woman, not prone to idly throwing theories around unless she thought them to be well grounded. Still, given the circumstances, she had hoped that Serene would be more forthcoming.

"Very well, then," she finally said. "I won't press you on the matter, at least for the moment."

"I appreciate that," Serene replied. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to look in on Professor Snape."

Minerva nodded, and Serene stood and left the office.

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Severus was on his knees on the Astronomy tower's roof, wand in hand, alone. In the sky overhead, the Dark Mark glowed sickly green. Slowly he stood, slowly walked to the wall that he had just blasted Dumbledore over with his curse. He looked down, and saw the old man's corpse lying on the ground below, like a broken doll cast aside by some petulant child.

"Are you still here, Severus?" a familiar voice asked from behind him.

He turned to face Dumbledore, who stood, resplendent in blue and gold robes, the chilly breeze blowing his silver hair and his beard. "Of course," he replied tersely. "Where else would I be?"

"Oh, any number of places," said Dumbledore, a wry smile tugging the corners of his mouth. "Most of them rather more pleasant than this rooftop. And yet, you choose to remain here, in this moment."

Severus felt cold anger rising within him. "I didn't choose this." He gripped the edge of the wall, watched his knuckles whiten. "I was trapped here."

"A trap you laid for yourself, Severus, and one you could easily have avoided falling into." Dumbledore's smile broadened. "And, if I may say so, one from which you could just as easily escape."

"Escape?" Severus gave a derisive snort. "How can I escape this place? This life?"

"It isn't life that you need to escape from, Severus," the old man said gently. "Thinking it was is part of what trapped you here."

Severus turned to face Dumbledore again. "Then exactly what is it that I need to escape from?"

Dumbledore shook his head. "No, Severus, I'm going to leave you to sort that out on your own. You're clever enough, I think." He turned and moved toward the door, then looked at Severus over his shoulder with sad eyes. "Do you really hate me so? After all this time?" With that, the old man disappeared through the door, leaving it open behind him.

"Why shouldn't I hate you?" Severus asked the empty air. No answer came. He stared at the open door for several minutes, and then approached it. He laid a hand on the stone outside the doorway, and suddenly a great heaviness overtook him. He sank to his knees once more, and closed his eyes. When he opened them again, he was in his bed in the isolation ward.

He lay for a while contemplating his… was it a dream? It did not have the feel of a dream, the realization of unreality upon waking. Yet, he had been talking to Dumbledore, and Dumbledore was long dead. Then again, Severus had been long dead, too, until quite recently. He could still taste the bitterness of his anger at seeing the old headmaster again, the man who had ordered his own death at Severus's hand. He pushed the anger away, into a dark corner of his mind, along with the sadness that tried to follow it.

A knock came at the door, and then slowly it opened. Serene Carlin poked her head through the opening. The sight was a welcome distraction from his dark reverie. "Hello, Serene," he said.

"Hi. I hope I didn't wake you," she replied, and stepped into the room. Now showered and well rested, she had changed into a rose-colored cotton blouse and full, ankle length black denim skirt. She was carrying a basket, its contents covered with a paisley scarf.

"No, I woke up a few minutes ago," he told her, then, eyeing the basket, asked, "What have you got there?"

"Something you're going to need," she replied. She sat down in the chair beside his bed, and Severus caught a faint scent of lavender and oranges. Washed clean of salt, her hair showed hints of red and gold in the candlelight. "Since you seem to have returned to the land of the living _sans_ wand…" she lifted the scarf. In the basket were about two dozen assorted wands. "Let's see if one of these takes a liking to you." She set the basket down on the bed beside him.

He looked at the basket thoughtfully. It occurred to him that this was a gesture of great trust, coming from a woman he had only met that morning. Apparently, she had ruled out the possibility of his return being the result of any dark designs on his own part. "Where did you get all of these?" he asked.

"I made them," she replied. "I took an elective course in wand lore at Salem, and discovered I had a knack for it. I've been making a pretty penny selling them to Ollivander's."

"Really? I thought Ollivander made his own wands. "

"He did, until he died a few years back. His sons took over the shop, and neither one of them has their father's talent for wandmaking. Now they buy their wands from outside suppliers. "

Severus traced a finger over the wands, and found one that had a friendly feel to it, birch by the looks of it. He picked it up. It felt right in his hand. He pointed it at a small vase that sat on a table across the room and said, "Accio." The vase flew to his waiting hand, but he didn't quite catch it and it fell to the floor and shattered. "Reparo." The pieces came back together perfectly. He levitated it up to his bedside table.

Serene smiled. "I think you've picked a winner. Or it picked you."

Severus smiled softly and said, "Thank you." He turned the wand in his hand. "Birch?" Serene nodded. "What's the core?"

"Tail hair from a hippogriff. I'm actually surprised. There are four wands in that basket with phoenix feather cores. I thought one of those would pick you."

"Yes, given the circumstances, that would seem likely." He finished inspecting the wand, and then slipped it into the vase. "Hippogriff tail hair is a rather unusual choice for a wand core."

"Only if you don't happen to be on good terms with someone who has a domestic herd of them," she said, grinning.

"Hagrid?" For the first time, it occurred to him to wonder if the gentle half-giant was still at Hogwarts.

"Yep."

"Is he still teaching Care of Magical Creatures, then?"

"He is," she affirmed.

"I don't imagine it's a very popular class," Severus said, a smile tugging at the corners of his mouth.

"Actually, it is."

"Really?" Severus was surprised. "I can't imagine students lining up to learn how to look after flobberworms and blast-ended skrewts."

"They're not. Apparently, when Professor McGonagall took over as headmistress, she had a sit-down with him. Nowadays, it's kneazles, hippogriffs, thestrals, which is a bit tricky, since most of the students can't see them, and unicorns. Add to that his status as a war hero, and Hagrid is teaching the most popular elective at Hogwarts."

Now Severus broke into a full smile. He was glad to know Hagrid was doing well. He certainly deserved it. Then he asked, "Does he know I'm here?"

Serene shook her head. "Not yet. He's in France. Apparently, he's good friends with the headmistress at Beauxbatons. He spends a couple of weeks with her every summer."

Severus nodded. "Olympe Maxime. I've met her. Charming woman. Hagrid quite fancied her. Unfortunately, he was a bit, shall we say, rustic for her taste. It's good to know that they still get on after all these years. Did you know that during the war, Dumbledore sent the two of them on a mission to try to win the giants over to our side?"

Serene looked surprised. "No. He's never mentioned it."

"I'm not surprised," he told her. "It wasn't exactly a raging success. The Dark Lord sent a contingent of Death Eaters to make them a better offer."

Serene sat back in her chair and looked thoughtful for a moment. "You still won't say his name."

"No. You have to understand, from my perspective it was only a few days ago that hardly anyone dared speak his name, not even his most loyal Death Eaters. The rest of our world has had twenty years to forget. I haven't."

"Let's hope you never do," she said quietly. "When people forget history, it tends to repeat itself."

The doorknob rattled, and the door opened. Madam Pomfrey entered, carrying a covered tray- Severus' dinner. "Oh, hello, Professor Carlin. I didn't know you were in here." She set the tray on the bedside table. Severus lifted the cover.

"Oooh, lamb stew," observed Serene. "Is there any left?"

"Plenty," Madam Pomfrey told her. "The house elves made a huge pot of it."

"Good. I'm starving." She stood. "Well, Professor, it's been nice chatting with you. Now, if you'll excuse me, I think supper is calling me."

"Goodnight, then," he said. He hadn't realized it, but he was quite peckish himself, and the stew smelled delicious.

Serene picked up her basket of wands and followed Madam Pomfrey out of the ward. Severus watched her leave. The door closed behind her, and Severus tucked into his stew.

When he had finished eating, he settled back into his pillow and drowsed a bit, reflecting. When Serene had first appeared in the door, he had thought she was going to ask him more questions concerning his reappearance. Instead, she had engaged him in small talk. Either she felt that he would not be able to provide her with any more useful information, or she had decided she did not want to reopen his wounds unnecessarily. In either case, he was grateful not to have been questioned further. He wanted more than anything to push the whole incident from his mind. He turned his eyes to the wand she had given him where it rested in the vase. Eventually, he drifted off into a contented sleep.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Serene finished her supper in the Great Hall, then made her way back to her rooms. She had a personal collection of books there that rivaled the Hogwarts library, in a large bookcase she had enhanced with an Extension Charm. Her collection included a number of volumes which, had she been teaching any other subject, would have brought great suspicion on her were they to be discovered. These she kept carefully hidden.

She went to her bookcase, knelt and began removing books from the bottom shelf. The she lifted a board that lay behind them, revealing the forbidden tomes. She extracted three books- Maximus Pinceton's _Forbidden Magicks_, Nicolai Maritoff's _The Darkest Arts_, and Rosaria Harrington's _Deepest Secrets of Magic. _Her little desert burrowing owl, Ramon, hooted at her from his perch, as if to say she had no business reading books on dark magic. Under other circumstances, she might have agreed. But for now, she had to glean as much information as she could from the pages. She carried the books to the couch, opened _Forbidden Magicks_ to the appropriate chapter and began to read.

Hours later, she had a fair-sized stack of books on her coffee table, and little in the way of further insight. She sighed, replaced the books at the back of her bookcase, covered them with the board, and put the more innocent volumes back on the shelf. She looked at the clock. It was past midnight. Damn. She had a good idea of one more place she might look for the information she needed to enable her to turn mere suspicion into a viable theory, but that would involve talking to Professor McGonagall, and she doubted the headmistress would be up this late. She snuffed the candles and headed to her bedroom.

Once in bed, she found she could not sleep. Snape's eyes haunted her. They were like dry wells, into which some creature had fallen and was now crying out, wounded, unable to climb out again. It had been worse that morning, when she had questioned him about the night he had killed Dumbledore. The pain had seemed less when she had seen him that evening, after he had slept, and, she guessed, had a good cry. Still, it was there.

She turned over to lie curled on her left side, and found herself staring at her alarm clock. He had flirted with her. Frail and sad as he was, he had managed to flirt with her. More surprisingly, she had flirted back. She had not flirted with a man since her last year of school. Why, of all the men in the world, had she flirted with the sad-eyed sack of bones that lay in the hospital wing?

She turned over to lie on her right side. Part of her wanted to rescue that wounded creature, to comfort him. Another part was afraid- of what, she wasn't sure. She had settled for distracting him from the pain by making pleasant conversation, and it seemed, in some measure, to have worked. In time, she hoped, Snape's wounds would heal. For now, though, he was going to require gentle handling. She turned over on her back and stared at the ceiling. After a while, she gave up on the whole idea of sleep, and got up to go to the Great Hall for some hot chocolate.

---------------------------------

Minerva slipped a piece of parchment into a file folder and laid it aside on her desk. She had just dispatched Sybil Trelawney to deliver three letters inviting Muggle-born children to attend Hogwarts. Sybil had protested, preferring to remain in the solitude of her room, but Minerva had insisted. She didn't think it was healthy for the woman to spend nearly all her time locked away alone. Sybil had not even been to the hospital wing to see Severus. This was not surprising. Severus and Sybil had never gotten on well, and she suspected Trelawney was more than a little embarrassed at her utter failure to predict Severus's resurrection.

She heard a grinding noise that announced that the moving spiral staircase was bringing someone to her office. A moment later, Serene Carlin entered.

"Good morning, Serene," she said. "Have you made any progress in your research?"

"Not much," Serene answered. "Actually, there's something I need to ask you."

"What is it, dear?" Minerva couldn't think of anything she knew that might shed light of the subject at hand.

"Did Professor Dumbledore keep a journal, a diary?"

"Why yes, he did," Minerva told her.

"I'd like to see it."

"That might be a bit difficult. There are dozens of volumes, going back more than a hundred years."

"That's okay, I don't need it all. Just the last fifteen years or so, dating from when Voldemort tried to kill Harry Potter."

"I think that can be managed," said Minerva. "I'll have it sent to your rooms directly."

"Good. Thank you." Serene turned and left the office.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

Serene closed the final volume of Dumbledore's diary and laid it on top of the pile on her coffee table. She then began to read through the rather extensive notes she had made, most of them in the form of questions. At last, she had found the answers she had been looking for. She was ready to present her theory to Professor McGonagall. She wrote a note asking the headmistress to meet her in the hospital wing. She felt that Professor Snape had a right to hear what she had to say; after all, it was his life that was to be the matter of discussion. "Come here, Ramon." The little owl fluttered over from his perch and landed on the back of the couch. She gave him the note and said, "Take this to Professor McGonagall." Ramon took the note in his beak and fluttered out the open window.

Fifteen minutes later, Serene and Minerva were sitting in the isolation ward on either side of Severus's bed.

"I take it you've discovered why Severus has returned," said Minerva.

"I believe so, yes," replied Serene.

"Well, then, let's hear it," said Severus.

"Alright," Serene turned to face Severus. "I've come to the conclusion that when you killed Dumbledore, you created a horcrux."

"Good heavens," Minerva gasped.

"I didn't," Severus began to protest. "I wouldn't…"

Serene raised a finger to silence him. "Not deliberately," she continued. "I think that when you killed him, your soul ripped in two and part of it attached itself to Hogwarts Castle. More specifically, to the roof of the Astronomy tower."

"How can this be?" asked Minerva. "A horcrux being created accidentally? Why, it hardly seems possible."

"There is precedent for it," Serene pointed out.

"Potter," said Severus quietly. Serene nodded.

Now Serene addressed Professor McGonagall. "Professor Snape was in a lot of pain that night. It almost seems natural that a part of him would cling to the place that was his only real home for fifteen years."

Minerva looked distant for a moment, seeming thoughtfully to consider the theory Serene had just presented. Finally, she spoke. "Improbable as it may seem, it does appear to be the best explanation for what has happened."

"The question is," said Serene "what do we do now? Eventually word is going to get out that Professor Snape is back, and when it does, the Ministry will want to conduct its own investigation."

"I think," said Minerva, "that it may be time to send an owl to Harry Potter."


	4. Chapter 4

Harry Potter sat behind his desk at the Ministry of Magic's Office of Aurors staring in disbelief at the letter Minerva McGonagall had sent him. Severus Snape was alive and, while not exactly well, his condition was rapidly improving. Further, Professor Carlin, who he knew by reputation to be well versed in the dark arts and a highly competent teacher, was satisfied that Snape had not returned by his own design.

Harry had other reasons to believe that Snape had not intended to make himself immortal. The day after his funeral, Ron and Hermione had each received an owl instructing them to go to Snape's house at Spinner's End. There they found what amounted to a will. Snape had left Hermione his substantial personal library. To Ron, he left a collection of wands he had taken in duels- a teasing allusion to Ron's own wand having been broken when he and Harry had crash-landed Arthur Weasly's flying car in the Whomping Willow their second year at Hogwarts, and the magical disasters that had resulted. Snape would not have disposed of such valued possessions if he had not planned on staying dead. Significantly, he had left nothing to Harry. It was obvious that Snape had not expected him to survive his encounter with Voldemort.

He was going to have to investigate, he knew, and make a full report to the Minister. That was going to be interesting. The situation, he knew, would be politically inconvenient. There were a few highly influential people who still believed that Snape had been firmly in Voldemort's camp during the war. They thought Snape had only yielded up his memories, and the vital information they contained, to Harry in order to provide the means of avenging his own murder. Harry, of course, knew better, and most of the wizarding world regarded Snape as a hero- a filthy, spiteful, vindictive git, but a hero nonetheless.

He picked up a quill, wrote a short note, folded it into a parchment aeroplane, and sent it off to the Department of Accidental Magics and Catastrophes. He would need to take someone from that department with him when he went to Hogwarts, and he knew exactly who that someone should be- Marcella Carrington, who had graduated Hogwarts some four years earlier. Marcella had been in Slytherin House, and, like most Slytherins, regarded Severus Snape as an object of near worship. She would have a predisposition to be sympathetic toward him, and that was something Harry would need when reporting his findings to the Minister. With the note safely on its way, he called Ron into his office. "I need you to go find Hermione," he said. "I have to talk to both of you."

"Why?" asked Ron. "What's going on?"

"Just get Hermione," Harry said. "I want to tell both of you together."

Ron disappeared through the door. Within minutes, he was back with Hermione in tow.

"What is it, Harry?" she asked.

"Yeah," said Ron. "What's the big deal, that you need to tell both of us?"

"I just got an owl from Professor McGonagall," Harry told them, "and, well, have a look." He handed the parchment to Hermione. As she read it, her jaw dropped.

"Merlin's pants!" she cried.

"What? What does it say?" Ron was beyond curious. Hermione gave him the letter. He read it. "Bloody hell!" he exclaimed.

"You're going to investigate this yourself, aren't you?" Hermione half-asked, half-told Harry.

"Of course I am."

"And you're taking us with you," said Ron.

"No, I'm not."

"What do you mean, you're not?" Ron spluttered. "You have to…"

Harry cut him off. "I can't Ron. Shacklebolt's going to be in for a hard enough time as it is, once word of this gets out. If I do this investigation with my own brother-in-law and his wife, we'll be accused of personal bias."

"But Harry…"

"No, Ron, he's right," said Hermione. "We're too close to this. We'll just have to let Harry do this without us."

Ron seemed deflated, but he stopped arguing. "So, who are you going to take, then?" he asked.

"Marcie Carrington", Harry told him.

"Marcie Carrington! Right,_she'll_ be an unbiased investigator. She's probably got a shrine to Snape in her bedroom."

Harry had to take a deep breath. Ron was beginning to try his patience. "Look, Ron, this is about appearances. Anybody who is assigned to this investigation is going to be biased one way or another. Snape's just too controversial a figure. At least if I take someone from Accidental Magics, I'll have input from another department, and it won't look like one family that was close to Snape trying to protect him."

"We weren't exactly close to Snape," said Hermione. "Nobody was, really, except maybe Dumbledore."

"Close enough. He did leave the two of you his most valued belongings," Harry pointed out. Ron and Hermione couldn't argue. Leaving them the library and the wands had amounted to an apology for six years of brutal mistreatment. The house, Snape apparently had not much cared for. The Snapes and the Princes had fought over it for nearly two years, suing one another in the Muggle and wizard courts, respectively. The Ministry had finally seized the house, auctioned it off, and split the proceeds between the two families, keeping a generous share for its trouble. The whole bloody mess had saddened Harry. Neither family had wanted to admit being related to Snape when he was alive, but when he died, they had gone after the only thing he owned that was worth any real money like buzzards fighting over a rotting carcass. With relations like that, no wonder he had turned out to be such a vicious bastard.

He noted that Ron and Hermione had given up protesting. "So, it's settled then. I'm going to have a talk with Shacklebolt, and then I'm taking Marcie to Hogwarts. If the two of you want to see Snape, you'll have to do it on your own time."

The meeting with Kingsley Shacklebolt had not gone well. While the Minister himself was fully prepared to believe that Snape's return was some sort of magical accident, he knew there were others who would not. "Be thorough, Harry," he had said. "I'm going to be under a lot of pressure. You know that there are people who still have questions about Severus Snape's loyalties. Once they learn that he's alive, they will be howling for him to be sent to Azkaban. We must be very sure that there is no reason for it."

"I understand that, sir." Harry had said. He got the impression that Shacklebolt didn't think he understood well enough. But then, Shacklebolt was in direct contact with the elements who doubted Snape's loyalties. Harry was not.

-----------------------------------------------------------------

Harry and Marcie Carrington apparated in front of the gates and walked through them, onto the grounds of Hogwarts. "I can't believe I'm actually going to meet Severus Snape," Marcie said for what seemed like the hundredth time. Harry was starting to wonder if bringing her along on this investigation was such a good idea after all.

"Will you calm down," Harry said, exasperated. "This is an official investigation, not a social call."

"Yes, sir," she said, but the excitement did not fade from her eyes. _She's still a kid,_ Harry thought as he glanced at the girl walking alongside him. She was a petite brunette, with sparkling blue eyes and sharp features. Harry thought she looked like the Muggle conception of an elf. Her short haircut added to the illusion.

As they approached the castle, he saw Minerva McGonagall and a young woman he supposed was Professor Carlin on the front steps waiting for them. Professor Carlin was James's favorite teacher, though you wouldn't have known it by his marks. James wrote home describing in vivid detail how the light glinted off her hair, the scent of her perfume, the way her petticoats rustled when she walked past his desk. Professor Carlin wrote telling Harry that James didn't pay attention in class. If she only knew.

Harry surveyed the young woman briefly. She was certainly pretty, but she was not the raving beauty James had led him to expect. But then, James was a teenage boy with a teenage boy's hormones. Professor Carlin had started teaching at Hogwarts when James was just reaching the age when most boys discover girls. Right now, she was wearing blue jeans and a tan peasant blouse. Muggle clothing. He hoped she didn't dress like that when she went into Hogsmeade. With the attacks on Muggle-borns the past few weeks, she would be making herself a target.

They reached the top of the steps, and they made their introductions. Then Harry got right to the point. "Where is he?" he asked.

"In the hospital wing," Professor McGonagall told him. "Come, I'll take you to him."

When they arrived in the isolation ward, Harry was shocked at what he saw. Snape was sitting in a chair, wrapped in black robes. His collarbones stood out through his skin. His windpipe was clearly defined, his cheeks hollow. His sunken eyes looked almost infinitely sad. If this was Snape's improved condition, Harry didn't care to imagine how he had looked when he had first appeared.

"Hello, Harry," he said softly.

"Professor," Harry acknowledged. Snape eyed Marcie, and Harry introduced her. "This is Marcella Carrington, from the Department of Accidental Magics and Catastrophes."

"It's an honor to meet you, sir," she said. Snape nodded, and, for some reason, glanced at Professor Carlin.

"So, this is a catastrophe now, is it?" Snape asked drolly.

"We haven't determined that yet," replied Harry. He looked at the others. "Would you give us a moment?"

"Of course," said Professor McGonagall. As they exited the room, he heard Marcie say, "I'd like to have a look at the Astronomy tower."

When they had gone, Harry and Snape looked at each other for a long moment. Then, unexpectedly, Snape stood and approached him. His gaunt frame barely seemed capable of supporting his robes. His eyes grew moist, and Harry realized he was struggling to maintain control over his emotions. He seemed to be fighting a losing battle. Then, by unspoken consent, the two men embraced. Harry heard Snape sniffle. Then they released each other. Now, tears stood in Snape's eyes and rolled down his cheeks. "I thought I'd sent you to your death," he said, choking.

"Actually, you did," Harry told him.

"You seem to have gotten over it."

"So do you."

They both relaxed a bit, then Harry got down to business. "I know you've probably been asked this a dozen times, but, what are you doing here?"

Snape returned to his chair, and seemed to have composed himself. "Actually, I've only been asked twice. I really am at a loss for an answer." He looked up at Harry. "The last thing I remember is lying on the floor of the Shrieking Shack, looking into your eyes, and everything going black. Then I woke to find myself lying on cold stone in a howling rain storm. My first thought was that I was in Hell." He twitched slightly, as though trying to shake off the thought, then he continued. "Professor Carlin is of the opinion that when I killed Dumbledore, part of my soul tore itself loose and attached itself to the castle."

"A horcrux," said Harry softly. He remembered Dumbledore's words to Snape in the memory he had viewed in the pensieve. _You alone know whether it will harm your soul to help an old man avoid pain and humiliation. _Dumbledore had apparently been of the opinion that it would not, but then, Dumbledore had been wrong before.

"I'm surprised she knows how a horcrux is made," remarked Harry. "Very few wizards do."

Snape nodded. "Serene has obviously studied the dark arts more deeply than even her position would require."

"You don't think…"

"That she's practicing? No, I don't think so."

Harry thought about this. He knew McGonagall investigated the backgrounds of prospective new staff members thoroughly before hiring them. It seemed unlikely that a dark witch would have been able to fly under Minerva McGonagall's radar.

Snape interrupted his reverie. "I believe Serene suspected from the first that I had created a horcrux. She was, however, quite reluctant to tell Minerva of her theory." He reached over to the bedside table and drew his wand out of the vase, and stroked it lovingly. "At least, not until she felt she had gathered enough information to back it up."

"Did she give you that?" Harry asked him. He knew from James's letters that Serene Carlin was versed in wand lore. She had once given one of her creations to an impoverished student who had sat on his wand and broken it.

"Yes, she did," Snape said, almost wistfully.

Harry came to a sudden realization. "You fancy her, don't you?"

"She is a very attractive woman," Snape admitted. Harry grinned. Then he turned more serious.

"If you did create a horcrux, it will have to be destroyed, you know that."

"I know." He replaced the wand gently in the vase. "I would like very much to be a fly on the wall when you tell Minerva you need to blow up the Astronomy tower." Harry smiled again. Somewhere between here and the hereafter, Snape appeared to have acquired a sense of humor. Then he remembered something.

"You realize, when that happens, the part of your soul that's attached to it will be destroyed with it."

Snape thought about this for a moment. "Then," he began slowly, "It is to be devoutly hoped that I will get to keep the better part."

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Do you have any ideas about how this could have happened?" Marcie Carrington asked Serene as she followed her up the stairs that led to the roof of the Astronomy tower.

Serene hesitated a moment. She wasn't sure how much information she wanted to give this girl. "Sort of," she finally replied. "I think Professor Snape somehow became… connected to the castle."

"You don't think someone brought him back then?"

"I did consider the possibility, but, no, I don't think so." They reached the door to the roof, and Serene opened it. They stepped out into the sunlight. "Well, here we are. I've already been over this place with a fine-toothed comb, but if you think you might find something I missed, have at it."

Marcie drew her wand, moved to the far wall, and began to trace a spiral pattern around the roof of the tower, whispering incantations. Twenty minutes later, she had worked her way inward to the spot in front of the door where Snape had presumably been standing the night he killed Dumbledore.

"Well?" asked Serene.

Marcie shook her head. "Nothing." She looked at her watch. "I imagine Mister Potter has finished with Professor Snape by now. I had better report back to him."

They turned, descended the stairs and headed back toward the hospital wing. In the corridor, they met Harry, who had just come from there. "Did you find anything?" he asked Marcie.

"No, sir. There's nothing up there. If anyone used dark magic to bring Professor Snape back, they did one hell of a job cleaning up."

"I thought as much." Then to Serene, "Professor, can I have a word?"

"Sure."

They re-entered the hospital wing and walked to the far end, out of Marcie's earshot. Then Harry turned to her and said, "Snape told me you think he created a horcrux the night he killed Dumbledore."

"It does seem to be the most likely explanation," she told him.

"I was wondering, well, he's come back in corporeal form. When Voldemort returned, he didn't have a body at first. It took years before he had a physical form, and he had to have potions made for him to be able to do it. Even then he was about the size of a baby, small enough to be put into a cauldron. Snape's all skin and bones, but he's corporeal. Do you have any ideas about why?"

Serene bit her lip and sat down on a bed. "I can only speculate," she said.

"Go on then." Harry sat on the bed across from her.

She thought hard for a moment "Voldemort had divided his soul into seven pieces, eight counting the one that got attached to you…"

"You know about that?" Harry interrupted.

"I've read Dumbledore's diary," Serene explained. "I'm guessing wildly here, there's no record in any of the literature of anyone besides Voldemort successfully using a horcrux to bring themselves back to life, not even in the really heavy dark arts stuff."

"It's probably been removed," said Harry.

Serene nodded. "Anyway, I think Voldemort spread himself too thin to be able to come back in corporeal form, at least not without help. When his curse rebounded off of you, his body was destroyed because there wasn't enough soul left in it to hold it together. Professor Snape's soul was only ripped in two, and when he died, assuming he actually did die, there was a body left to bury. It's possible that when he returned, the physical elements of his body were somehow transferred to the location of the horcrux. Of course, the only way we could know for sure that was what happened is if we opened his grave and found an empty coffin."

Harry took a moment to absorb what Serene had just told him, and then he asked, "Why did it take Snape twenty years to come back? When Voldemort tried to kill me, his body was destroyed, but he was still around, in disembodied form."

Serene seemed reluctant to answer. "I'm back to speculation again," she told him. "I really don't like pulling explanations out of my Muldahara Chakra."

"I know," said Harry, "but right now, speculation is all we have to go on."

"Alright then," she said. "Voldemort created his horcruxes because he intended to make himself immortal. He knew if he died physically, part of his soul would still be connected to this world. He expected that he would return, and so he held onto consciousness. Professor Snape didn't expect to come back. Judging by what he told me the other day, I don't think he wanted to come back, but the horcrux made it inevitable."

"So, instead of floating about as some sort of specter, Snape's soul just lay unconscious for twenty years."

"Something like that, yeah," affirmed Serene.

"But why would he return now?" Harry wanted to know. "Why this particular time?"

"And why in the middle of a thunderstorm, instead of a nice, warm, sunny afternoon?" Serene added. "That's something I don't think we'll ever know."

Harry considered this for a minute. Finally, he said, "I suppose that will have to do for an explanation." He stood. "Thank you, Professor," he said, and turned and walked out of the hospital wing, leaving Serene sitting alone.

------------------------------------------------------------

Kingsley Shacklebolt listened with interest as Harry and Marcie Carrington made their report, withholding what Harry considered the most vital information. After Marcie had been dismissed, Harry asked the Minister for a word in private. He told Shacklebolt about Professor Carlin's theory that Snape had created a horcrux when he had killed Dumbledore. Shacklebolt leaned back in his chair and grew pensive.

"I take it Professor Carlin didn't tell Miss Carrington about her theory," he said at last.

"I don't think so, sir. The only thing Marcie told me was that Professor Carlin thought Snape had become attached to the castle somehow. If Professor Carlin mentioned horcruxes to her, then Marcie's not telling us something."

"And do you think it likely that Miss Carrington would withhold such vital information?"

"No, sir, I don't. Marcie's a fairly forthright kid even if she was a Slytherin. I think we can trust her."

"You do realize, Harry, that this is an extremely serious matter. If certain people thought that Snape used Dumbledore's death to create a horcrux…"

"He didn't do it deliberately, sir," Harry interrupted.

"I understand that, Harry, but others might not. I want you to keep this quiet."

"We can't keep it a secret forever, sir," Harry told him. "One way or another, word is going to get out that Snape is alive."

"I know that, Harry. I plan to have a press release prepared for the _Prophet_, omitting that particular detail." With that, Shacklebolt dismissed Harry, and he returned to his office.

He had barely sat down at his desk when Ron and Hermione came bursting in, wanting to know all the details of his investigation. He told them everything Snape and Professor Carlin had told him, including Snape's confession of being attracted to the pretty young teacher.

Ron was amazed. "He's not even two weeks out of the grave, and already he's got a crush on someone?"

"I think it's sweet," said Hermione.

"Yeah," said Harry. "It's good to know he's not lying in bed pining for my mother. James is going to have a fit when he finds out he's got a rival." Then he grew more serious. "We have to work out a way to destroy Snape's horcrux. He suggested blowing up the Astronomy tower, but I don't think Professor McGonagall is going to let us do that."

"I'll get to work on it right away," said Hermione. She and Ron left Harry's office.


	5. Chapter 5

Severus surveyed the rooms that Argus Filch had prepared for him, and found them to his liking. Madam Pomfrey had finally pronounced him well enough to leave the hospital wing only that morning. He was surprised how many of his old belongings he found in his new room. Apparently, most of his things had been put into storage after his rather hasty departure from Hogwarts twenty years hence.

He entered the bathroom, sat on the edge of the bathtub, and turned on the hot water. He had not had a proper bath during the week that he had been in the hospital wing, and he needed one. When the tub was full, he took off his robes, hung them on a hook on the back of the door, and eased himself into the hot water. He lay in the tub and soaked for a while, allowing the hot water soothe and relax his muscles, which had felt tight and dried out. Then he decided to try something.

He eased his upper body down further into the water, so that it came up to his ears. He began to feel slightly nervous, but he continued. As the water closed over his head, he felt a brief moment of panic, but this quickly dissipated. The more-than-half-expected choking sensation did not come. He had expected to be frightened, but found it was actually rather pleasant being underwater. He remained under until his lungs began to cry out for air, then he resurfaced and reached for the shampoo.

When he had finished his bath, he dressed and stepped out into the main part of his room again. He glanced at the clock on the wall and noticed it was lunchtime, so he decided to make his way to the Great Hall. When he arrived there, he found Minerva and Serene sitting on opposite sides of a table, with the_Daily Prophet _between them. Serene glanced up and spotted him. "Hey, look who's up and around," she said. Severus joined them at the table, sitting down next to Serene.

"Good morning, ladies," he said to them. "Or perhaps I should say, good afternoon."

"Severus, it's good to see you finally on your feet," said Minerva.

"Thank you, Minerva," he replied.

"Look, you're front page news." Serene turned the _Prophet_ so that he could better see the headline.

**Severus Snape Returns** it said. He began to read the article.

Severus Snape, former Headmaster of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft

and Wizardry and spy against Lord Voldemort, has returned from the

dead, according to officials at the Ministry of Magic. Snape, who was

murdered by Lord Voldemort during the Battle of Hogwarts twenty years

ago, was discovered on the roof of the Astronomy tower at Hogwarts last

Tuesday. Minister of Magic Kingsley Shacklebolt told the

_Prophet_ that Snape's return appears to be the result of some sort of

bizarre magical accident. "We have investigated the situation thour-

oughly and have come to the conclusion that there was no use of dark

magic involved in resurrecting Severus Snape," Shacklebolt said.

He declined to make any further comment.

Snape played a pivotal role during the second Wizard War. A

former Death Eater, he turned spy against Lord Voldemort during

First Wizard War, and returned to that role after Voldemort's

return. Moments before his death, Snape provided critical

information to Harry Potter that enabled him to defeat Voldemort,

thus ending the war.

Severus Snape is a figure who inspires much ambivalence in the

wizarding world. While teaching at Hogwarts, he had a reputa-

tion for bullying his students. In 1997, he killed headmaster Albus

Dumbledore. He was considered a murderer until Harry Potter

revealed that the killing was done at Dumbledore's own request.

Snape was installed as headmaster at Hogwarts by former Minister

of Magic Pius Thicknesse, who was believed to be acting under the

influence of an Imperius Curse placed on him by Voldemort,

just prior to the start of the 1997-98 school year. He served in

that capacity until he was driven out of the castle by members

of his staff. Voldemort murdered him early the following morning.

While many of those who knew him regarded him as an extreme-

ly unpleasant person, his services as a spy and his ultimate

death at Voldemort's hands have led him to be revered by most

of the wizarding world as a hero.

"The headline is bigger than the article," Severus remarked, helping himself to a ham sandwich from a plate that had appeared on the table.

"It usually is," said Serene. "Just be glad you were spared another Rita Skeeter hatchet job."

"Another? Had a go at me, did she?"

"Oh, yes," said Minerva. "The biography of you she wrote made _The Life and Lies of Albus Dumbledore_ look like a hagiography."

"Well, she certainly would have had more factual material to work with when she wrote mine," he allowed.

"It was still mostly trash," huffed Minerva.

Severus didn't argue the point. He noticed the headline below the fold- **Attacks on Muggle-Borns Continue.** "How long has that been going on?" he asked, feeling it would be impolite to ignore his companions while he read the second, longer article.

"About three weeks," Serene told him. " Apparently a gang of wizards has started on an extermination campaign."

"I just can't fathom how people can still believe in pureblood supremacy," said Minerva. "One would think that Voldemort's downfall would have put an end to that sort of thinking."

"Especially considering that the Dark Lord himself was a half-blood," added Severus. "It's human nature for people to want to feel superior to others, though I must say one's parentage makes for a poor reason to do so."

"Human stupidity seems to be the only infinite resource in the universe," said Serene.

"Indeed," agreed Minerva. She finished her lunch and excused herself from the table, leaving Severus alone with Serene. Serene lay the paper aside, while Severus poured himself a goblet of pumpkin juice.

"You're looking a lot better," Serene observed. "Keep putting on weight at the rate you are, and by the end of summer, you'll be downright skinny."

Severus smiled. "You could do with a few more pounds yourself," he teased.

"You know, a lot of women would consider that a compliment," Serene said, grinning.

"Would they really?"

"They really would."

Severus looked at her for a moment, and then asked, "So how did it happen that a young lady from the Colonies came to be teaching at Hogwarts?"

"I came to England on vacation about five years ago," she told him. "Of course I had to visit Hogsmeade because no self-respecting witch would miss seeing the only all-wizard village in the whole of Britain. I fell in love with the place and never left. Then, when I heard that the Defense Against the Dark Arts post was opening up, I decided to apply, and the rest is history."

"You seem a bit young to have been teaching for three years," said Severus.

Serene was startled. "How do you know how long I've been teaching?"

"I asked Minerva. You know there was a curse on your position. For more than fifty years, no Defense Against The Dark Arts instructor managed to stay at Hogwarts more than one year."

"I know", she replied. "The curse is legend. If Professor Iverson hadn't had the job for sixteen years before he turned in his resignation, I wouldn't have applied for it."

Severus realized the math did not add up. "That's only nineteen years. Was there another teacher in the interim?"

Serene shook her head. "No. Professor McGonagall convinced him to stay another year while she did a background check on me. I was about ready to have kittens, waiting to find out if she'd offer me the job."

"I knew a witch that happened to, once," Severus told her.

"You're kidding." Serene's expression was one of disbelief.

"No, I'm not. She had been conducting some unauthorized experiments in Animagy, transfigured herself into a cat, and was unable to return to her human form. A nice old Muggle lady found her lying under a tree sulking and took her in. She found herself shut up in a room with a very amorous and quite insistent tomcat. By the time she escaped and worked out how to become human again, she was in a family way. She gave birth to nine kittens. After that, she decided she wasn't cut out to be an Animagus."

"That's horrible!" gasped Serene, who was now turning pink with suppressed laughter.

"She certainly thought so," agreed Severus.

"What did she do, feed the kittens with an eyedropper?"

Severus shook his head. "No. She put them in a hatbox and abandoned them at an animal shelter."

Poppy Pomfrey entered the Great Hall and sat down across from them. "You two certainly seem to be getting on well," she observed, picking up a sandwich and putting it on a plate that appeared on the table in front of her. "Ham again?"

"Yeah. The house elves sliced up a big one and didn't want it to go to waste. I think this is the last of it, though."

"I thought it was rather nice," said Severus.

"You haven't been eating nothing but ham sandwiches for lunch all week," Poppy reminded him. She had mostly been giving him soups and stews to eat in the hospital wing, fearing he might not be strong enough to sink his teeth into anything more substantial. He had still managed to put on a few pounds. The bones in the backs of his hands were no longer visible through the skin. He imagined he would still look quite frightful to someone who had not seen him that first morning.

Serene tossed back the last of her pumpkin juice. "Well, I'm going for a walk," she said. "It's too pretty out to stay cooped up indoors." She stood and walked out of the Great Hall. Severus watched her, eyes resting on her hips. When he turned back to Poppy, he found she had a knowing smile on her face.

He spent the afternoon in the library, going through archived copies of the _Daily Prophet_, trying to get caught up on the twenty years that were missing from his life. He knew it would take weeks to read through all of them, but he had little else to do, and he felt a need to busy himself. Of particular interest was a lengthy account of the Battle of Hogwarts. He read the list of the dead with a feeling of reverence. He was particularly saddened to learn that Remus Lupin and Tonks had died, leaving behind their newborn son.

He also discovered that Harry Potter had revealed to the world at large that he had been in love with Lily. It would partly account for Minerva's willingness to trust him when he had first reappeared, being a reason for her to believe that he had no love for the Dark Lord. He was somewhat bothered that Potter had given out such a personal detail about him, but then again he had been dead at the time. He was pleased to learn that Voldemort had died knowing that his most trusted advisor had been spying for Dumbledore for the whole of the war. He felt in some measure that he was avenged.

A few editions of the _Prophet_ later, he found the report of his own funeral. He learned that Potter had him buried in the cemetery at Godric's Hollow, near James and Lily. It had not occurred to Severus that Harry would have taken charge of his corpse. After all the abuse Severus had heaped upon Harry during his time at Hogwarts, in dealing with his mortal remains, the boy had chosen to treat him as family. He was deeply touched.

He joined Minerva, Poppy and Serene in the Great Hall for dinner, then went back to his rooms. On the way, an impulse struck him. He stopped at the library and plucked a copy of Rita Skeeter's _Snape: Scoundrel__or Saint _from one of the shelves. He took it to his rooms, undressed, got into bed, and began to page through it.

He quickly regretted taking out the book. Minerva had been charitable. A good part of it was trash, but it was far from the majority of its content. It pained him to be reminded of his many sins, and he had been expending great effort, trying to push the pain from his mind. Finally, he laid the book aside, snuffed out the candle on his bedside table, and lay down to sleep.

Serene Carlin sat at a table in her outer room, stripping bark from sticks she had cut in the Dark Forest. She would allow them to dry for a couple of weeks before she started work coaxing the cores through them. She wondered how the first wandmaker had managed to get the cores into the first wands. There were theories, she knew. Some said that it was done by splitting the sticks when they were freshly cut and still alive, then bringing them back together using healing spells. This was the theory that Serene considered most likely. Nowadays, wandmakers used an incantation to open a space through the center of the sticks, and then used their own wands to draw the core material through.

Her mind drifted to Severus. His mental state seemed to be improving as rapidly as his physical health. She found that she enjoyed his company, and he seemed to enjoy hers as well. He wondered what he would do when he had fully recovered. Would he stay at the castle, or would he go off to find a place of his own? She found herself hoping he would stay.

Finally, she finished stripping the twigs, brushed the bark into a pile and tossed it into the bin. Then she went into her bedroom, undressed, crawled into bed, and drifted off to sleep.


	6. Chapter 6

Severus stood with his hands on the stone wall, looking down at the shattered corpse on the ground below.

"Still standing out here in the cold?" Dumbledore asked him.

"Still trapped here, in this moment," he replied coldly. He looked up to see the Dark Mark, hanging overhead like an accusation, and then turned to face Dumbledore. "You did this to me," he accused. "You knew what would happen, and still…"

"And still, you did what I asked of you. No, Severus, I didn't do this to you, and I didn't know what would happen. You were the only one who could possibly have known. I will not take the blame for your inability to make peace with your own soul before the time came. Careless of you, really, to leave a horcrux lying about."

"As though anyone would have had any use for it," Severus harshly. "Had I known, I would have destroyed it."

"Ah, but you did know," chided Dumbledore. "In your innermost heart, you certainly could not have failed to notice that a part of yourself was missing. Had you cared to, you could have deduced where you had left it. Would you really have wished to destroy part of your own soul?"

"If it meant finding peace in death, yes."

"By 'finding peace in death', you mean 'avoiding the pain of living'" Dumbledore said simply. Severus didn't reply. "Do you truly wish to throw your life away, Severus, now that you've got it back?"

"I'm not really sure I deserve it," Severus replied softly. He found his anger was subsiding somewhat.

"I think you will find, Severus, that you will almost never get what you deserve. People seldom do," said Dumbledore gently. "However, you may find that you nearly always get what you need."

The old man turned, and, as he had before, walked toward the door. Then he paused and looked back at Severus. "Why don't you come inside?" he asked. It's rather warmer than it is out here on the roof."

"What will I find if I do?" Severus asked him.

"Yourself, perhaps."

With that, he entered the doorway, again leaving it open behind him.

Severus followed, again stopping short of the doorway. He closed his eyes, and rested his forehead on the cold stone. From inside, he could hear a banging noise, as though someone was pounding on a distant door.

He was awakened by an insistent pounding at the door to his rooms. He rose and hastily put on a dressing gown. "All right, I'm coming," he said to whoever was doing the pounding. He opened the door and found Rubeus Hagrid standing in the corridor. Before he could say anything, the half-giant swept him up into a bear hug.

"Professor Snape! I can' believe yer back!" he cried.

"Having a bit of a hard time believing it myself," he managed to say. Then, "Hagrid, I can't breathe."

Hagrid released him, and then held him at arm's length. "Let's have a look at ye," Looking him over, he said, "My God, ye look like ye just come back from the dead."

"That's most likely because I have just come back from the dead." Severus reminded him.

"An' no one sent an owl and tol' me."

"Well, I suppose Minerva had other things on her mind,"

"'Course she did." Then, "Well, ye'd best come down to the Great Hall, now. Breakfast is waitin'."

Hagrid waited while Severus went into his bedroom and dressed, and then they walked together through the corridors. Severus looked Hagrid over as they walked. His unruly hair and beard, once black, were now iron grey. There were deep creases at the corners of his eyes- laugh lines that had permanently engraved themselves, giving him a look of someone who smiled almost continually.

"It's good ter see ye' back amongst the livin'," Hagrid told him.

"It's good to be here," replied Severus, almost certain that he believed it.

"It must've been hard on ye, that last year, sittin' up in the Headmaster's office, without a friend in the world." Hagrid began to grow a bit misty eyed.

"It was difficult, yes, but I managed."

"Managed ter get yerself killed." Hagrid stopped and turned to face Severus. "If I'd a known you was workin' for Dumbledore all that time, I'd a been a lot more of a help to ye."

"You were of great help to me, Hagrid," Severus reassured him. "I'll have you know that during my tenure as headmaster, I considered you to be my greatest asset." They continued walking.

"Did ye, now?" Hagrid seemed genuinely surprised.

"Oh, yes," Severus told him. "If I hadn't had you there to hand misbehaving students over to for detention, the Carrows would have done a lot more damage."

Serene emerged from a side corridor, coming from her own rooms. She brightened when she saw them. "Hagrid! When did you get back?"

"Jus' this mornin'," he told her. "I wanted to see Professor Snape right away."

"Good morning, Severus," she said. "Did you sleep well?"

"Quite well," he replied. Hagrid looked back and forth between the two of them, smiling.

The three of them arrived in the Great Hall, and found Minerva, Poppy, and, surprisingly, Sybill Trelawney, sitting at the table, on which there was a generous spread of bacon, eggs, toast and fried potatoes. The six of them tucked in, chatting amiably about nothing in particular. Hagrid kept piling food on Severus' plate, pressing him to eat more than he wanted to. He seemed determined to fatten Severus up to his normal weight in one sitting.

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After breakfast, Severus went to the library and spent a couple of hours perusing old newspapers. Then he went down to the hospital wing to check on Poppy's supplies of potions. Now that he was no longer confined to bed, he felt a desire to make himself useful. More than that, he needed a distraction. His dream, he had decided to call it a dream after all, had left him disturbed.

The potions were running low and the blood-replenishing potion was past its use-by date. He summoned a house elf to fetch his cauldron. Then he got into the store cupboards and started assembling ingredients.

Once he had gotten the cauldron set up in its tripod, Severus filled it with water and crushed iron oxide with a mortar and pestle while he waited for it to heat. Then he began adding the herbs according to a recipe he knew by heart. As he set the cauldron to simmer, Serene appeared in the doorway.

"What's cookin'?" she asked.

"Blood replenishing potion," he told her.

"You still remember how to make it after all these years?"

Severus smiled. He realized that Serene did not quite comprehend that in death, there was no passage of time. "Yes, I still remember," he said simply. He stirred the cauldron, dipped out a ladleful and inspected it. "Although, this doesn't seem to be turning out very well."

She came in and sat down on a three-legged stool. "I never could get the hang of potions," she told him. "For the practical on my O.W.L., I drew Knitbone Potion. I ended up with a cauldron full of brown ook. It took me a week to scrub it out."

"You never took your Potions N.E.W.T., then?" he checked the clock. Blood replenishing potion required precise timing.

"Nope. I got E's and O's in every other subject, except Herbology, I barely squeaked an A, but I completely tanked in Potions."

He arched an eyebrow at her. "So, that's why you spend so much time with me, is it? You want to be on good terms with someone who can make a potion for you when you need one."

Serene giggled. "Does that make you feel cheap and used?"

Severus smiled at this. "Only a little," he said. "You're lucky you didn't have me for a Potions master," he said. "I made life a misery for any of my students who didn't have an aptitude for it." He checked his potion again. It wasn't turning out at all. He knew why, he was feeling distracted by his dream. He had most likely added some of the herbs out of order.

"So I've heard," she replied. "Neville Longbottom has told me horror stories about you."

Severus winced at the mention of the name. "All of them true, I'm afraid. I was rather fond of humiliating him in front of the class when his potions didn't turn out, and they hardly ever did." Then he smiled. "He turned out to be a quite talented wizard in spite of it all."

He checked the clock again, lifted the lid of the cauldron, and gave its contents one last stir. "I think this is a total loss," he said, and vanished the potion with a wave of his wand."Maybe you're just a bit rusty," suggested Serene.

"No, it's not that," he said. "I'm afraid my mind isn't really in it at the moment."

"Why? What's the matter?" she asked.

"Nothing I care to talk about just now," he replied. Then he turned to face her. "Serene, there's something I've been wondering about. Why is it that you were so willing to trust me with a wand that first night we met? It seems to me that you ought to have been more cautious."

Serene looked thoughtful. "It was something you said when I asked you what was in your head when you killed Dumbledore," she said. "You said you wanted to escape into death. It was a completely selfish thought, but understandable considering the circumstances. When you said that, I knew that you hadn't been looking to make yourself immortal. I kind of got the impression that you weren't exactly thrilled to be back."

"I wasn't, actually," he told her. "But now that I've been around for a while, I'm starting to enjoy it a bit."

Serene smiled. "You know, when I met you, I expected you to be thoroughly unpleasant. But you're not. You're actually kind of nice. A bit dour, but nice."

Severus pulled up another stool and joined her. "Death has a way of putting things in perspective. Of course, having an attractive young lady to chat with doesn't hurt the situation."

Serene blushed at this. Severus thought she was turning a very pretty shade of pink. After a moment, she composed herself. "What was it like?" she asked.

"What, death, or having an attractive young lady to chat with?" Serene rolled up a piece of parchment and swatted him with it. "Alright, I'll be serious. Being bitten in the throat by a large snake was extremely unpleasant. The actual dying was not. I felt that my consciousness was dissolving away, that I was being drawn into nothingness, and I was ready to embrace it."

"There wasn't any bright light or dead family members waiting to meet you?" Serene seemed surprised.

"No, none of the usual things you hear about from people who have come close to death."

"So you ran down the curtain but didn't join the choir invisible." Now she looked disappointed. "Then there's no afterlife."

"I wouldn't be too certain of that, Serene," he said gently. "You must remember, I did leave a portion of my soul attached to this world. It is quite likely that I was simply prevented from crossing over into the next one." He looked her in the eye. "You've lost someone, haven't you?"

She nodded. "My great-grandmother. She died during the Easter holidays. She was an amazing woman, incredible cook, and she used to tell the greatest stories. My parents sent an owl telling me she was sick, and by the time I got back to the States, she was already dead and buried."

"I'm sorry," he said sympathetically.

"Don't be. She was ninety-six years old. That's quite a respectable old age for a Muggle. Still, I would have liked to have seen her before she died." She looked at the clock. "It's lunchtime," Serene noticed, and they headed off to the Great Hall.

"Are both your parents Muggles?" he asked her over soup and sandwiches. Up until now, he had avoided asking her any personal questions. Most of their conversations had involved the goings on at Hogwarts over the last twenty years, but now she had provided him with an opening.

"Yes, they are."

"And how did they take the news that you were a witch?"

"My father was pleased. My mother not so much. She's one of those people who thinks that different is bad, and being a witch is about as different as you can get. They split up during my first year at Salem, and I ended up living with my dad." Then she asked, "So what about your parents?"

"My father was a Muggle, my mother was a witch. She didn't tell him until after they were married, and he wasn't at all happy about it. He didn't approve of magic. I think the only reason he allowed me to come to Hogwarts was to get me out of the house nine months out of the year."

"Sounds like a bad scene," Serene said sympathetically.

"It was. But that was another life." By now, they had both finished eating.

"Let's go see Hagrid," he suggested. "He and I have a lot of catching up to do."

"Sounds like fun." She stood and helped him to his feet. "Just pray that he hasn't made any treacle tarts."


	7. Chapter 7

Harry surveyed the Aurors who had gathered in the meeting room. They were a capable lot, but most of them were out of practice. Most of Voldemort's Death Eaters had been put into Azkaban years ago, and currently practicing dark wizards tended to keep a low profile. Still, he felt they were up to the task he was about to lay before them.

"I don't think I need to go into the details of the attacks on Muggle-borns these past weeks, since several of you have been investigating them," he told them. "Now, this week-end is the start of school shopping season in Diagon Alley. That means a large number of people concentrated in the area. It also means that Muggle-borns will be easy targets, because they and their parents will most likely be dressed in Muggle attire. I want to make sure that nothing, and I mean, absolutely nothing happens in Diagon Alley from now until the start of the school year.

"I want two of you patrolling each block. Be discreet, and try to blend in with the crowd as much as you can. And for heaven's sake, keep your eyes open. If anyone looks like they're doing anything suspicious, I want you to be on top of it. Does anyone have any questions?"

"Do you really think these blokes would attack in a crowded street during broad daylight?" asked Felix Knurtz.

"Yes, I think they would," Harry told him. "If you remember, the last two attacks did occur in public, and in the daytime."

"Surely they wouldn't go after children?" The questioner was Michelle Garret. She had only just completed her training, and was too young to remember the last wizard war.

"I wouldn't put anything past them," said Harry. "If they can kill off a few Muggle-born children before the school year starts, that may serve to intimidate others and keep them from going to Hogwarts. Are there any more questions?"

No one else spoke up. "Right, then, let's get to work."

Having dismissed his Aurors, Harry found Hermione. He wanted to know if she was making any progress in her search for a way to destroy Snape's horcrux.

"I'm not doing very well," she told him. "Right now, the only thing I can think of is to take up the paving stones from the roof of the tower and destroy them."

"I don't think Professor McGonagall would like that much," said Harry. "On the plus side, Filch would hate it, because he would be the one who will have to do the actual work. Anyway, it's still a better idea than blowing up the Astronomy tower."

"I'm wondering, if maybe that part of Snape's soul might have only gotten attached to a single stone," Hermione ventured. "Then, if we could find it, we could have that taken up and destroy it. It would cause a lot less damage."

"Is there a way you can check for that?" Harry asked.

"Not that I know of. There's nothing in any of the books I've read about detecting bits of soul that people have left lying about."

"Keep looking, then," Harry said. "I really don't want to have to tell Professor McGonagall that I need to do major damage to the castle unless I'm sure there's no other way."

"What about the damage to Snape's soul?" Hermione asked him.

"I talked to Snape about that," said Harry. "He said that if part of his soul has to be destroyed, he hopes he can keep the better part. Leave it to Snape to be philosophical about something like this."

"There is another way to destroy a horcrux, Harry," Hermione reminded him.

Harry nodded. "Remorse. But how can we expect the man to feel remorse for killing Dumbledore when Dumbledore himself asked him to do it? Besides, if he felt remorse strong enough to put his soul back together, it would be so painful it might kill him."

Hermione didn't have an answer to this. "I'll keep looking for other ways," she said.

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Severus looked at his reflection in the mirror. He was still too thin to look healthy, but at least he looked human again. It probably wouldn't take more than a few more weeks to get back to his normal weight.

For the past few weeks, he had been wondering what he was going to do with this life that had been given to him. Minerva was showing no signs of wanting him to leave Hogwarts Castle. Indeed she had made it clear that he was welcome to stay as long as he wished. Still, he was feeling restless. He found he was taking pleasure in the company of old friends, as well as a pretty new one. Still, when he was alone, he found that he felt cold, empty. He had been putting a lot of effort into staying busy, trying to fill the emptiness. He had at last succeeded in replenishing Poppy's supply of healing potions, but now he found he had little else to do. He couldn't just hang around the place forever. He knew his skills as a potions maker could make him a tidy living. His reputation would almost guarantee there would be a demand for his products.

Then there was Serene. His attraction to her was growing by the day and in her presence, he felt warm. He knew he was far from good-looking, but he also knew that if a man behaved himself properly, a woman might overlook his physical appearance. He and Serene had already become friends. He hoped that in time, they could become something more. At the moment, though, he had no means of supporting himself, and therefore was not in much of a position to court her.

He had just finished dressing when a house elf apparated in his room. "Excuse Cricket, but Mistress McGonagall wishes to see Master Snape in her office."

House elves had the damndest convoluted way of talking. "Tell her I will be there directly," he said, and the house elf snapped her fingers and vanished.

He made his way to the headmistress's office. As soon as he entered, Minerva said, "Sit down, Severus. I need to talk to you."

He obeyed. "What is it Minerva?"

"I've just gotten an owl from Horace Slughorn. He has wanted to retire for some years now. I've managed so far to convince him to stay until I find a qualified replacement, but a good Potions master is not an easy thing to find. Now that you're back, Horace feels there is no further reason to stay on. He has sent me his resignation. Will you take the post, Severus?"

Severus was taken aback. "Minerva, I don't know what to say." For the first time in his life, he was at a loss for words.

"You might try saying 'yes'," Minerva said. "I'm in a bit of a spot here, Severus. The new term starts in less than a month, and I'm short a Potions master."

Severus considered Minerva's offer for a moment. He realized she was not offering him a job out of charity. She genuinely needed him. It was quite typical of Horace Slughorn to do something like this, waiting until just a few weeks before the start of the school year to tender his resignation. Minerva would be forced to offer Severus the job, Severus would look like a right git if he turned it down, and Slughorn would be free to pursue a life of leisure.

"All right, Minerva," he said at last. "Yes, I will take the job."

"Thank you, Severus," she said.

After Severus had left her office, Minerva breathed a sigh of relief. She had been afraid Severus would turn down her offer out of pride. Severus Snape was a man who hated being perceived as weak, and would be disinclined to accept an offer of charity. Happily, his pride was not affronted, and he had taken the job.

She left her office to go outside for a stroll around the grounds. In the corridor, she met Serene, who was dressed in blue and green robes and carrying a basket of wands. "Where are you off to, dear?" she asked the younger woman.

"Diagon Alley," Serene replied. Of course. Parents would be taking their children to shop for school supplies, and Ollivander's would need to have wands to sell to the first years. "You're not going alone, are you?" Minerva asked.

"I'd planned on it, yes."

"I won't hear of it. It's too dangerous for a Muggle-born witch to be out and about on her own. I've just had to replace one instructor. I don't want to have to replace another."

Serene looked confused for a moment, then realizing, "Professor Slughorn finally sent you his resignation, didn't he?"

"Yes, he did."

"I thought it would only be a matter of time, once word got out that Severus is back. Horace Slughorn is a quite the opportunist."

"That he is," agreed Minerva. Serene seemed pleased. She had never approved of Slughorn and his Slug Club. Minerva wondered how she would have gotten on with Severus back in the day, with his obvious favoritism toward the Slytherins. Knowing the two of them, they probably would have broken out into open duels in the hallways.

A thought occurred to Minerva. "Why don't you take Severus with you to London? He's well enough to go out now, and he could probably do with a change of scenery."

"All right," said Serene brightly. "I'll ask him to go."

Feeling relieved, and a little pleased, Minerva turned and walked out the door of the castle and onto the grounds. She mused a little as she walked. Serene's safety wasn't the only reason Minerva had suggested that she take Severus to London with her. Severus was obviously attracted to Serene, and it was apparent that Serene, while she may not have shared his attraction, liked Severus. Minerva thought the two of them made for a well-matched pair. They just needed a bit of encouragement.

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Serene found Severus in Horace Slughorn's soon to be former classroom, looking for the newly retired potions master's lesson plans. Of course, he would want to know what Slughorn had already taught his students, so he would not be duplicating lessons. She rapped on the doorjamb. Severus looked up at her. "Oh, hello," he said.

"Hi. I'm going off to London to sell a batch of wands, and Professor McGonagall seems to think I need a bodyguard. Want to come with me and protect me from the forces of darkness?"

"I'd love to," he replied. "Could you give me a few minutes while I finish ransacking Slughorn's desk?"

"Sure." She set her basket down, and watched as Severus rifled through Slughorn's desk. There were lots of assorted papers, but nothing that looked like lesson plans. Normally, she would have felt she was aiding and abetting the invasion of someone's privacy, but she knew that Slughorn would not keep any personal papers in an unlocked desk drawer in his unlocked classroom. Severus seemed to know the same thing. Naturally he would. Horace Slughorn had after all been Severus Snape's Potions instructor. He probably knew the man better that she did.

"Ah, I seem to have found what I'm looking for." Severus extracted a large notebook from a bottom drawer, and began to leaf through it. "Yes, this is it." He pulled out six more nearly identical notebooks- seven years worth of potions lessons. "I'll just take these to my rooms, and then we can go."

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Serene waited in the entrance hall of the castle. Severus met her there and offered her his arm, and she took it. As they walked down the path that led to the gate, they ran into Minerva coming back from her stroll. She gave them an approving nod and went back inside the castle. They continued down the path, walked through the gate and disapparated.

The apparated in Diagon Alley, a few blocks down from Ollivander's. As they strolled down the busy alley Severus asked her, "Do you cut your own wood for your wands, or do you buy it somewhere?"

"I cut it myself," she told him. "Buying wood for wands is too expensive, unless you order it in volume. Besides, cutting the wood myself gives it more of a personal touch. I do order a lot of the materials for the cores, though."

"Do the bowtruckles give you any problems?"

"Nah. Give them a few wood lice, and they're happy. Wood lice give me the creeps, but they're pretty easy to catch."

"You don't have someone to catch them for you, then?" Severus asked, a bit pointedly, Serene thought.

"No, I don't. I'm pretty much on my own in the wood lice catching department."

"So you're not seeing anyone, then."

So, that was where this was going. "No, I'm not."

"Really? I'm surprised," he said "A lovely young lady like you, I would think there would be no shortage of men wanting to court you."

Serene began to grow tense. This conversation was starting to bring back unpleasant memories. "Oh, I get my share of offers, I've even gone out with a few guys. It's just that I was in a relationship my last year of school and it ended badly. I have some trust issues since then."

"What happened?" Severus asked. "Did he use you and cast you aside?"

"Actually, he used me and then tried to kill me so he could split his soul in two and create a horcrux." She had not been sure she wanted to tell Severus this, but now that she had, she felt relieved.

"That explains your interest in the subject of horcruxes," Severus said. "Was he caught?"

"Yes, he's in Azkaban now," she told him, thankful that he wasn't pressing her for details. "He was on the lam for almost six months before the Aurors caught up with him, though. I've often wondered if he didn't mange to kill someone else and make his horcrux."

"It's quite likely that he did." Severus told her. "Someone who fears death so much that they would knowingly do violence to their own soul in order to avoid it would find a victim one way or another."

"I was hoping you would say something a bit more comforting," said Serene.

"I'm sorry to disappoint you," replied Severus.

They reached their destination- the sign out front still said "Makers of fine wands since 382 B.C.", even though wands were no longer being made by the Ollivanders. The counterwoman, a matronly witch called Madam Carlotta, went to the back room and fetched Gareth Ollivander. He came out and said, "Hello, Professor Carlin. What have you got for me today?"

Serene set her basket on the counter. "Wands," she said, feeling a need to state the obvious. Ollivander began to inspect the contents of the basket, while Serene rattled off what they were made of. "These three are maple, with hippogriff tail hair; this one has a hippogriff feather. Those two are oak, with unicorn hair. Um, let's see, cherry with dragon heartstring, which cost me a pretty penny, by the way, cherry with unicorn hair, birch with phoenix feather, birch with hippogriff tail hair, birch with dragon heartstring, holly with phoenix feather, holly with hippogriff tail hair, and that's it. Three dozen wands."

Ollivander looked pleased. "The craftsmanship on these is excellent. You do use a lot of hippogriff tail hair, don't you?"

"Yes, I do. There's a herd of them on the grounds at Hogwarts. It doesn't cost me anything except the effort it takes to brush them."

"The effort and the courage," remarked Ollivander. "You've only brought these just in time, now the kids have started shopping for their school supplies. My inventory is running low. I'm hoping some more of my suppliers will have wands ready for me soon."

"I'm sure they'll come through," Serene told him. "They'll probably show up when they think you're getting desperate so they can demand a higher price." The shopkeeper counted out a stack of five-galleon coins and gave them to Serene, who put them in a small purse she drew from the pocket of her robes. Serene thanked him, and she and Severus left the shop.

Serene was by now getting hungry, and she guessed Severus was too- he was looking a bit peaky. Well, he always looked a bit peaky, but he was looking peakier than usual. "Come on," she said. "I'll buy you lunch." He looked about to protest, but apparently he decided to lay aside his manly pride for the moment and nodded his acceptance.

She led him to a little Greek café with outdoor tables and recommended the souvalaki. A waitress came and took their orders, then disappeared back inside. A few moments later, she returned with their food. "So, are you looking forward to coming back to teaching?" she asked him.

"Actually, I am," Severus told her. "Although, I must confess, I didn't enjoy it much the first time around. Of course, I really didn't enjoy much of anything the first time around."

"You're not going to do anything silly like giving bottles of Felix Felicis to the student who turns in the best cauldron of a tricky potion, are you?"

Severus raised an eyebrow. "Was Slughorn still doing that?"

"Yes, he was. I always thought it was a bad idea. I was worried that the student who got it would use it to gain an unfair advantage come exam week."

"That would be a valid concern," Severus agreed. "However, the prospect of getting a bottle of liquid luck would provide quite an incentive for students to do research on potions ingredients and their effects. But no, I have no intention of doing such a thing. Although, I must confess that I came into possession of more than one bottle of the stuff myself in his class."

"Really? What did you use it for?"

Severus smiled mischievously. "I don't think I'm going to tell you that. You would lose all respect for me if I did."

Serene laughed, then looked up and spotted one of her students. "Yo, Miss Fischer, over here." The girl turned, recognized her, and trotted over to the table. Seeing Severus, she looked a bit frightened, but then seemed to recognize him as well.

"Hello Professor," she said brightly, then looking at Severus, "You're Professor Snape, aren't you."

"I am," Severus affirmed, then asked Serene, "And who might this young lady be?"

"This is Hortense Fischer, one of my brighter students, and if Horace Slughorn is to be believed, a veritable potions genius. Hortense, meet your new Potions master."

Hortense seemed awed. "You're going to be teaching at Hogwarts?" she asked Severus. "That's brilliant."

"You might not think so, once you've sat through a few of my classes," Severus teased the girl.

"Miss Fischer, I was wondering if I might bribe you into running a small errand for me," said Serene, slyly.

"I suppose so. What is it?"

She handed the girl a five-galleon coin. "I want you to go to Weasley's Wizard Wheezes and fetch me two of the latest edition of the Skiving Snackbox. And also, do not tell George Weasley who it's for. Let him think you're getting them for yourself. Think you can manage that?"

"Yes, ma'am, I suppose so."

"Good. If you are successful in your mission, you can keep the change."

"Alright, thank you, ma'am." Hortense skipped off down the block.

As soon as the girl was out of earshot, Severus asked, "Is this something you do habitually?"

Serene nodded. "Yep. Every year, I get a couple of the snack boxes and give them to Slughorn for analysis. He brews up the antidotes and gives them to all the teachers. He's been trying to stay ahead of George Weasley for years. I'm guessing you'll have a bit less trouble, being as how Mister Weasley learned his potions-making from you."

"I'm guessing that Slughorn doesn't provide the antidotes out of the goodness of his heart."

"Oh, hell, no. I have to bribe him with a bottle of mead."

"And how can you be certain that the students have consuming Weasley's little treats, and aren't genuinely ill?" Severus wanted to know.

"Oh, there are telltale signs, if you know what to look for. I'll fill you in when we get back to the castle."

Their food arrived, and they happily tucked in. Severus was obviously and understandably famished, and Serene ordered him some spanikopita as well. He happily ate the spinach pie, and they ordered baklava for dessert. By this time, Hortense Fischer had returned with the snackboxes, and, taking her change, skipped off down the street toward the nearest sweet shop.

Severus and Serene were quietly chatting over baklava and coffee when suddenly they heard the characteristic _pop_ of someone apparating nearby. A cloaked and hooded figure, a woman judging by the cut of her robes, appeared several yards away, her face concealed by a mask. Almost simultaneously, four more similarly clad figures apparated in various spots down the street. The woman gained her bearings, then started to move toward the table where Severus and Serene were sitting. She drew her wand, leveled it at Serene's chest and cried "Avada Kedavra!" The incantation had not completely escaped her mouth when Serene fell from her chair.

The curse passed harmlessly over her, setting fire to a large potted plant. Severus drew his wand and looked to see if Serene was all right, but she had rolled out of her fall and was on her feet again, wand at the ready. "Hominus Exumei," she hissed, barely audibly, knocking the witch off her feet. She landed about two yards away. The witch got to her feet, and yelled, "Sectumsempra", slashing with her wand, but Serene easily deflected the curse with a Shield Charm. Now, Severus raised his own wand and cried "Expelliarmus!" Red light flashed from his wand, and blasted the woman through the window of a shop behind her, her own wand flying in the opposite direction. Severus picked it up and slipped it into his boot. Severus and Serene both leveled their wands on her. Within seconds, a tall, red-haired man hurried over. He drew his wand, aimed it at the downed witch, and snaky ropes issued from it, binding her.

"Are you all right?" he asked Serene. "It looked like you had a bit of a fall,"

"Yeah, I'm fine," she told him. "I've learned that the best way to deal with Unforgivables is to hit the dirt."

"Sounds sensible," the man replied.

Up and down Diagon Alley, there were screams. A couple of duels had broken out, but quickly ended as pairs of wizards, who Serene realized were Aurors, bound the attackers and dragged them together into a group. Severus regarded Serene's would-be rescuer, and recognition flashed into his eyes. "Ron Weasley," he said simply.

"Professor Snape," Weasley replied. He turned his attention to his captive. "Right then, let's have a look at you." He pulled the woman's hood off, and Serene gasped.

"Artemis Stratford," she said.

"You know her?" Weasley asked.

"One of my students," Serene told him. "Just graduated last summer."

"Right then. Look, you two, don't wander off. I'm going to need to ask you some questions."

"Okay," said Serene, Severus nodding his assent. Ron Weasley took his captive over to the spot where the rest were being held. It quickly became apparent to Serene that she and Severus were, in fact, going to wander off. There were several injured people in the street. They went to help tend their wounds.

They found a woman in Muggle clothing, the skin of her back flayed, blood soaking her clothing. She pulled back, frightened, when she saw Severus, but Serene reassured her. "It's all right, we're here to help." She traced her wand three times over the wound, chanting an incantation. It stopped bleeding, and finally closed. She looked at Severus and said, "I don't suppose you have any dittany on you?"

"As a matter of fact, I do," he told her, reaching into the inside pocket of his robes and extracting a miniature potions kit. He took out a tiny bottle and sprinkled a few drops over the scar and stroked it in. "There," he told the woman. "That should keep it from scarring." But the woman was sobbing. "Kevin! Where's my Kevin?" she wailed.

From behind a bin several yards away, Kevin Mitchell, a fourth year, poked his head out and said, "Over here, Mum." Now that mother and son were reunited, Serene and Severus moved on.

Farther down the street, Serene found a severed arm, and, hiding under a bench, a Muggle man who was missing one. She and Severus managed to coax him out, but he was obviously in shock. A Black woman stuck her head out the door of a nearby shop and shouted, "In here!" She held the door, and they carried him inside, quickly realizing they were inside Weasley's Wizard Wheezes. Angelina Weasley poured several drops of a potion into a goblet of water and gave it to the man to drink. He soon grew calm, his breathing more even. Serene held his severed arm in place, while Severus reattached it.

"Blimey," said a man's voice from behind them. "Where were you when my ear got cut off?" They looked up to see George Weasley, holding a roll of bandages, which he was soaking down with Essence of Dittany. Severus looked away. George knelt beside him, and wrapped the man's arm with the bandages. It was obvious to Serene that Severus was uncomfortable in George Weasley's presence, and she knew the reason why. It was equally apparent by George's wisecrack that he had long since forgiven Severus, but Severus was still uneasy. They left the shop as soon as they had finished tending to the injured man.

In the street, order was being quickly restored. Injured Muggles and Muggle-born children were being gathered together, and Severus and Serene took the man whose arm they had just healed back outside. The Aurors quickly reunited him with his wife. His son was still unaccounted for. "They'll find him," Serene told him, trying to reassure him, but she had her doubts. Two small figures lay on the pavement, covered in white sheets. Two children had died.

Ron Weasley found them again, and led them over to a bench. The three of them sat down together. "Your kids weren't out here, were they?" Serene asked him.

"No, thank God. The missus was planning to bring them shopping next week." He took out a notebook and a quill. "All right, for the record, what are your names?"

Severus and Serene gave them, and Serene peeked over the top of the notebook and saw that Ron had written "Hogwarts D.A.D.A Instructor" next to her name. He wrote nothing next to Severus's. He did not know yet that Severus was to start teaching at Hogwarts again this year. "Okay, now, tell me everything that happened before I got there"

"There really isn't much to tell," Severus said. "The whole thing probably took less than ten seconds."

"Tell me what you can, then."

Serene quickly related the brief series of events from when Artemis Stratford had apparated near their table until Ron had gotten to them, with Severus filling in some details she had missed.

"That's all, then"" Ron finally asked.

"Yeah, that's pretty much it," Serene replied.

"One more thing." Ron was now looking at Severus. "I'm going to need her wand. It's evidence."

"Of course," said Severus, extracting it from his boot and handing it over. "Is there anything else?"

"No, you can go," Ron told them. Then he looked at Serene and said, "Professor, be careful."

"I will, she said." They watched as Ron walked over to join the rest of the Aurors. The captives were quickly taken away to jail. The most seriously injured victims were taken to St. Mungo's for treatment. Gradually, the crowd dispersed. Finally, Severus and Serene apparated back to Hogwarts, the Skiving Snackboxes lying forgotten on the pavement in front of the cafe.


	8. Chapter 8

Severus walked the halls of Hogwarts, unable to sleep after the events of the day. Serene had seemed to take having nearly been killed calmly enough, but he knew she was putting up a brave front so he wouldn't worry. He turned a corner, and found her sitting on a window ledge. Apparently, she couldn't sleep, either. She was winding a strand of hair around her finger. She pulled it out, and then started winding another strand. He approached her and took her hand. "Stop that," he said, and then asked, "Are you all right?"

"Yeah," she sighed. "I'm just having a hard time getting my mind around the idea that somebody could kill children like that, for no real reason."

According to the evening edition of the_Daily Prophet,_ Mary Andrews, a fourth year at Hogwarts had been killed in Diagon Alley that day. He knew Serene would be feeling her loss. A second child would never make his first trip on the Hogwarts Express.

"I've seen much worse," he told her. "During the Dark Lord's reign, Death Eaters would kill Muggles just for sport."

"One of my own students…" she began, and started to choke up. Tears welled in her eyes. The front was collapsing. Severus felt that he should comfort her, but was not sure how to go about it. She solved his problem by turning to face him, then falling against his shoulder. He put his arms around her, enfolding her in a hug. He wanted to reassure her, tell her everything was going to be all right, but he felt that he would be lying to her if he did. Instead, he just held her, gently stroking her hair. He remembered her words when she had asked him to come to London with her. _Want to come with me and protect me from the forces of darkness?_ She had said it so brightly, clearly not expecting an attack. She had held her own, not needing protection, but still, he was glad he had gone with her.

After a few minutes, she stopped crying. She remained close to him, head against his shoulder, allowing him to hold her. Was she enjoying the closeness, now that the tears had passed? He could only hope. Eventually, she lifted her head, and he released her. Their eyes met, and he saw that she was still shaken, and by more than just the day's events. For the second time, he asked, "Are you all right?"

"Yeah," Serene said, still sniffling a bit. "Today just brought back some really bad memories."

"Of the man who tried to kill you?" He didn't need to guess. He could read it in her eyes.

She nodded.

"Tell me," he prodded.

She sighed, seeming reluctant. Finally, she decided to tell him her tale. "His name was Dionysius Morgan. He was my Defense Against the Dark Arts instructor at Salem," she told him. "I had a fierce crush on him all through school. Then, just after the start of my seventh year, he invited me to his rooms and seduced me. It was all sweet and romantic at first, but after a few weeks, he started getting really controlling. Then one night, just after Christmas Vacation, I spilled a glass of wine on the carpet in his room. He slapped me and called me a stupid little mudblood." Severus winced at the word. "The next day, he said that he was sorry, and he didn't mean it, and that he loved me, and it would never happen again. But after that, he started hitting me over the slightest annoyance. It seemed like next to nothing would set him off. He beat me up pretty bad a few times. I would sneak into the hospital wing late at night and steal healing ointments to get rid of the bruises before anyone saw them."

"And yet, you continued to see him. Why?" Severus knew too many women who stayed with men who mistreated them, including his own mother, and it always mystified him.

"I was a kid," she said simply. "And he was a real smooth talker. He had a way of convincing me that it was my own fault he hit me, and that if I would just do what he wanted me to, he would stop hurting me. I I finally came to my senses over Spring Break, and when I got back to school, I told him I didn't want to see him anymore. So, he put the Imperius Curse on me. After a few weeks, I built up a resistance to it, though."

"That's rather unusual," Severus told her. "It usually takes months to develop resistance to the Imperius Curse. Of course, you seem to have had a powerful incentive."

"I did," she told him. "For a while, I kept seeing him because I was afraid of what he would do to me if I didn't give him what he wanted. Finally, right before I sat for my N.E.W.T.s, I got up my nerve, and told him that when school was over, so were we. Then, just before the last week of school started, he summoned me to his rooms. He gave me a glass of wine. It didn't taste right, it was bitter. I drank about half of it, and dumped the rest in a potted plant when he wasn't looking. That probably saved my life; I think it was drugged. He took me into the bedroom, and made love to me, if you could call it that, I was fading in and out of consciousness the whole time. Finally, I dozed off.

"I woke up to find him standing over me with his wand in his hand. He started to pronounce the Killing Curse. I rolled off the bed, and he ended up setting fire to the mattress instead. I still don't know how I got out of his rooms, but I know I left a trail of scorched furniture behind me. He managed to hit me with Sectumsempra on the way out. Five minutes later, I was in the headmaster's office, cut up and bleeding, wearing nothing but a cloak I had managed to grab on the way out of Professor Morgan's rooms, confessing that I had been sleeping with one of my teachers for most of the school year. The headmaster took me to the hospital wing, and then called for the Aurors. It wasn't until after they caught him and questioned him under Veritaserum that they found out he was trying to create a horcrux…"

"Was that where your interest in the Dark Arts started?" he asked her.

"Yes," she said. "I kind of got lost for a while; I was more into it than was healthy."

This statement concerned him. "You weren't actually practicing, were you?"

She shook her head. "No, nothing like that. But I wanted to learn everything I could about them, so that I could defend myself if I had to. I started out trying to come up with countercurses for the Unforgivables."

"But you didn't have any success, did you?"

"No, I didn't."

"I didn't expect that you would," he told her. "Part of the reason the Unforgivable Curses are unforgivable is that no one has ever been able to create defensive spells against them. A strong-willed person may develop a resistance to the Imperius Curse over time, but for the Cruciatus Curse and the Killing Curse, the only defense is to get out of the way. But you did other research?"

"Yes, I did. I learned how horcruxes are created, and found quite a few ways of destroying them. And I learned every dark curse that I could, and found a countercurse or a defensive spell for it, and if I couldn't find one, I tried to invent one.""Really?" Severus was now curious. "And did you have any success with that?"

"Some. I managed to create defenses and countercurses for about half of the curses I couldn't find defensive spells for in the books."

"And during this time, were you under an apprenticeship, or were you studying on my own?"

"I was on my own," she told him. "I was getting my nose into books that I really would have preferred not to have anyone know I was reading, and some of the experiments I was conducting were kind of, ewww."

"You do realize that what you were doing was extremely dangerous," Severus told her, "having no formal training beyond school. You could easily have killed yourself, or someone else, with that sort of experimentation. Or, suffered a fate far worse than death."

"I know," she replied. "At the time, I wasn't really thinking about the possible consequences."

"That is understandable, considering the circumstances that led you into the study of the Dark Arts," Severus said, "but not excusable. Still, you managed to get through it with no harm done, except, I assume, to a certain number of small animals?"

"Rats, mostly."

"And I must say that a fifty percent success rate of creating defensive spells is quite remarkable, considering your lack of mentorship. Still, you were lucky. I've known too many people who took up the study of the dark arts with the best of intentions, and ended up being seduced by their power. You seem to have avoided that fate. I trust you've given up your experiments?"

She nodded. "Years ago. I got to the point where my friends didn't want to hang around with me anymore. They said I was getting scary. So, I started putting my energy into wandmaking instead. It's safer, and a lot more lucrative."

"I imagine it is." He found himself yawning. "It's late," he said. "And we've both had a difficult day. May I walk you to your rooms?"

"I'd like that, yes," she said.

Then, she was on his arm again, and they were walking through the corridors in companionable silence. They reached the door to her rooms, and she turned to face him. For a moment, he thought she was going to invite him in. Instead, she stepped toward him, and encircled him in a tight hug, which he gladly returned. She let go of him, and looked at the floor for a few seconds. "Well, goodnight," she finally said.

"Goodnight, Serene," he replied, and then she disappeared through the door. He sighed, turned, and walked, alone, back to his own rooms.

Serene undressed and crawled into her bed, exhausted, but unable to sleep. The day's events had been tragic in their own right, but they had also reawakened an old fear.

She liked Severus, and it was more than obvious that he was attracted to her_._ Severus wasn't much to look at, but to Serene, "handsome is as handsome does" was not just an old saw. It was a brutal lesson, and she had been scarred in the learning of it. Lack of good looks was not something she would consider a barrier when deciding whether to go out with someone. Severus had most of the qualities she liked in a man. He was kind, patient, a perfect gentleman, and he had a good sense of humor if you knew how to listen for it. And he had those eyes. There was still pain in them, but it was not so raw now. It seemed almost a thing separate from him, like a silhouette behind a screen. They were the eyes of a man who had learned life's lessons in a way even more brutal than she had, and had come out the better for it. _He would make a good boyfriend,_ she thought as she slipped away into sleep. _For someone. _


	9. Chapter 9

Harry stood on Platform Nine and Three Quarters and watched James, Albus and Lily as they boarded the scarlet train. Rose, and Hugo, who was going to Hogwarts for the first time, quickly joined them. "Hey, Potter, wait up," shouted Scorpius Malfoy, rushing to catch up with them. He turned and spotted Draco, his old nemesis, who only shrugged. He was apparently as surprised that Albus and Scorpius had become friends as Harry was. Scorpius, true to family tradition, had been sorted into Slytherin, and Albus into Gryffindor, which made the friendship seem that much more unlikely. There was a certain amount of interhouse rivalry, to be sure, and apparently the boys spent a lot of their time dueling, but they got on surprisingly well.

The platform, normally buzzing with excited chatter as parents saw their children off, was now uncharacteristically hushed. The Muggles seemed particularly nervous, which was understandable, considering that the attack on Diagon Alley three weeks past. Harry had stationed a dozen Aurors on the platform, and several of the Hogwarts staff were also there. He spotted Severus Snape herding a small flock of kids onto the train, and, farther down, Serene Carlin and Neville Longbottom. He wondered briefly how Severus and Neville were getting on. Then he saw Neville shoot Severus a cold glance, and thought, probably not well. Not that Neville doubted Severus's loyalties, but he had all to often found himself on the short end of Snape's legendary temper. Add to that the fact that Severus had had little choice but to leave Neville, who had openly opposed Voldemort's regime, to the tender mercies of Amycus and Alecto Carrow, and it seemed highly unlikely that the two of them would ever be friends.

The students all made it on board the Hogwarts Express without mishap. The teachers took one last careful look around the platform, then climbed aboard the train themselves. Six Aurors followed, including Ron. They would be keeping a watchful eye on things, Harry knew. He thought it unlikely that there would be an attack inside the school. As far as he was able to discern, the five people who had been arrested at Diagon Alley were not part of a larger gang. Still, one couldn't be too careful. The attack had been big news in the wizarding world, and impressionable young minds with similar feelings about blood purity might get ideas.

Finally, the train pulled out of the station. Harry rounded up the Aurors who remained on the platform and dismissed them. Then he found Ginny, Hermione, and Marcie Carrington, who had been seeing off her younger brothers, Marcus and Marcellus. Apparently, the Carringtons had only been able to think of one name for their offspring, and used a variation of it as each child arrived in the world. "Come on, let's go have lunch," he said.

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There was tension in the air in the Great Hall as Minerva McGonagall stepped to the podium. She had done her best to insure that the start of term banquet would be a cheerful affair, and had to a good measure succeeded. Serene, being the only teacher on her staff with no House affiliation, had handled the Sorting Ceremony, and had teased the Hat when it had difficulty placing a student, drawing muffled laughter. Lily Potter had been sorted into Slytherin, to Severus's obvious delight. But the deaths at Diagon Alley had cast a pall over the proceedings.

"Before we begin our feast, I have a few announcements," Minerva began. "First of all, Professor Slughorn has retired, and our new Potions master will be Professor Snape…" Wild cheers erupted from the Slytherin table. Applause from the other three tables ranged from enthusiastic to merely polite. Minerva continued. "…who will also be taking over as head of Slytherin house." More cheers rose from the Slytherin table. Severus looked a bit embarrassed. "Second, in light of recent tragic events, for the safety of all students, a team of Aurors will be stationed at Hogwarts until the Office of Aurors has completed its investigation of the murders in Diagon Alley. That is all. And now, let's get on with the feast." She clapped her hands, and the food appeared on the tables.

The students tucked in. Conversation started out at a quiet murmur, but grew livelier as the students began to relax. Finally, they had eaten as much as they could, and it was time to dismiss them to their dormitories.

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Severus Snape entered his dungeon classroom and called the roll. He almost felt that it was unnecessary to call James Potter's name. Harry Potter's oldest son was easily recognizable. He had the same black hair that stuck up every which way, and the same glasses. He was the image of his father, except that he lacked Lily's green eyes. His brother Albus was the one who had been graced with those eyes. _Albus Severus, _he reminded himself. He had only merited a middle name, but still, Harry had seen fit to give the name to one of his sons. He finished his roll call and began the lesson.

"For your first lesson of the year, you are going to learn how to make a healing ointment. Can anyone tell me what ingredients you would be using?"

Rachel Peterson raised her hand. "Yes, Miss Peterson?"

"Lavender and frankincense," she said.

"Anything else?" Arnold Davies put his hand in the air. "Mister Davies?"

"Rosemary,"

"If your intention is to heal bruises, yes."

James Potter didn't raise his hand. He was looking a bit frowzy. As Severus called on various students, who named their ingredients, he noticed Potter was starting to droop. Eventually, his head fell to the desk. Kevin McReady reached over to shake him awake, but Severus waved him away. Potter began to snore, drawing giggles from some of the other students.

With a wave of his wand, Severus put the instructions for the making the ointment on the blackboard, and the students went to the store cupboards to fetch their ingredients. Soon, cauldrons were simmering, ingredients being added, potions being stirred. Then, suddenly, there was a crashing noise, and Potter was on the floor. His glasses lay a foot in front of him. Severus turned on his heel and looked at him. "Mister Potter," he said imperiously, "apparently you are unacquainted with the time-honored Hogwarts tradition of sleeping in Professor Binns' s class." The class rippled with soft laughter. "Or, perhaps you feel that having died makes an instructor inherently boring?" More laughter.

James mumbled "Sorry, I couldn't sleep last night," then looked up and realized that the rest of the class already nearly finished with their ointments. Several students already had the contents of their cauldrons boiled down to a gel-like consistency. James returned to his chair, and Severus noticed he was bleeding from a cut next to his eye. The boy got a tissue from his bag and pressed it to the cut, then put his glasses back on. He looked at his watch and saw that class was nearly over.

"Well, Mister Potter, since you seem to have missed the opportunity to actually learn to make a healing ointment," Severus said icily, "Perhaps you would like to volunteer to allow someone to test theirs on you?"

"All right, sir." What else could he say? He had just slept through nearly the entire class. Severus called Ariadne Soutsas, who had already put her ointment into a small jar, over. Ariadne was a lovely dark-haired girl with olive skin and wide brown eyes. She smeared some of the greenish contents of her jar over James's cut, and then returned to her seat. "Now, Mister Potter, if Miss Soutsas has made her ointment correctly, your cut will have completely healed by tomorrow morning." Then a wicked smile twisted his mouth. "If she hasn't, well, I'll just say that Madam Pomfrey will have her work cut out for her."

James looked panicked. Apparently, he didn't have much faith in Miss Soutsas' potion making abilities. The bell rang. He dismissed the class, sat down at his desk and sighed. He had only put one student to sleep.

--------------------------------------------

At dinner, Serene asked Severus how his first day had gone.

"Not too badly, I think," he told her. "My first class, James Potter fell asleep and I had to teach over the sound of his snoring, but the rest of the day went quite smoothly."

"James Potter actually snored?" Serene asked, looking shocked and amused.

"Yes, he did." Severus looked over at the Gryffindor table to see James looking at him and Serene almost mournfully.

"He hasn't done that in my class yet," said Serene, "but I always get the distinct impression that his mind is someplace else."

"And tell me, Professor Carlin," purred Severus, "where do you think his mind is now?"

Serene looked at James, who was still looking at her and Severus. "I don't know. He seems to be giving you the cold stare. Did you come down hard on him for falling asleep in class the first day of the year?"

"Not especially, no." He leaned closer to her and whispered conspiratorially. "Right now, Mister James Potter is wondering what a beautiful woman like you is doing being so cozy with an ugly git like me."

"Is he really thinking the word 'git'?" asked Serene.

"Possibly. The emotion is definitely there. He quite fancies you, you know."

Serene looked at James, who had turned his attention to his food. Then she turned back to Severus. ""Does he really?" she asked him, seeming genuinely surprised.

"I think it is rather obvious," he told her. "I fail to see how it could have escaped your notice, as you've had him in your classroom every week for the past three years." Serene began to twist her napkin nervously. It was apparent to Severus that James Potter had a long standing crush on Serene, and he was genuinely mystified that she had missed it. Then he remembered that Serene had once been on the other end of such a crush, and it had ended rather badly for her. Perhaps she had willfully blinded herself to avoid the unpleasant memories the knowing would bring back.

"You know, I'm going to have to either start avoiding eye contact with you or start studying Occlumency." Serene told him. "You're really starting to get scary."

"I've always been scary, Professor," he teased. "I'm surprised it took you this long to notice."

As Severus walked Serene to her room after supper, she commented, "It's amazing the way you can look into someone's eyes and see what they're thinking."

"Not so much what they're thinking as what they're feeling," he corrected her. "I can read emotional states, and visual images, memories that come to the surface of a person's mind, the dissonance that occurs when someone is lying to me, but not what a person is actually thinking. Legilomency is an interpretive art."

"Does it take long to learn?" she wanted to know.

"It takes months to learn. Years to perfect. Thinking of asking me to teach you?"

"I was, yeah," she admitted. "It seems like a skill that would come in handy if you're wondering if any of your students might be thinking of trying to kill you."

"That it would," said Severus. They had reached the door to her rooms. "All right, then, I'll teach you, if you'd like."

"I'd like, thank you," she said. "When can we start?"

"How about next Monday, after the students have settled in a bit?"

"That would be great." She glanced around to make sure no students were watching, then kissed him on the cheek. She stood looking up at him for a moment, then said, "Well, goodnight," and retreated into her room.

"Blimey, talk about your missed opportunities," said a familiar voice from behind him. He turned to see Ron Weasley standing in the corridor.

"Spying on me, Mister Weasley?" Severus queried.

"Not exactly," said Ron. "I'm keeping an eye on Professor Carlin. I think I'm going to tell Professor McGonagall that it's a really bad idea for the only Muggle-born teacher on the staff to have her room down a side corridor. Too much opportunity for an ambush."

"I think Professor Carlin could handle herself if that were to happen, provided she wasn't too badly outnumbered," replied Severus. "Besides, it was my understanding that all of those responsible for the attacks on Muggle-borns had been arrested."

"Yeah, we think we've got them all," Ron affirmed. "But we're still questioning their families and friends. We want to make sure it was just those five punks, and not a whole gang."

The two of them turned and started back toward the main corridor. "So, are you going to be here for the entire term?" Severus asked.

"Nah. We'll probably be out of here in a week or so," said Ron. "Harry's pretty close to done with the investigation.

"It must be hard, being away from Hermione."

"It is," Ron replied. "It's kind of weird, actually. I woke up this morning and wondered where she was. It took a minute before I realized I wasn't home in my own bed. I guess when you've been married a while, you get used to the other person being there, and you think there's something wrong if they're not. It's nice being close to the kids, though. I miss them when they're away at school. Speaking of which, I heard my nephew fell asleep in your class this morning."

Severus smiled. "He did. He was snoring quite loudly, until he fell out of his chair. I pity the woman he marries."

'Yeah, I think he's planning on marrying Professor Carlin."

"Bit old for him, isn't she?"

"Oh, right, you're a fine one to talk," teased Ron. " You're what, thirty years older than her?"

"Thirty-two next January, and that's only if you count the twenty years I was dead. I don't know if you're aware of this, Weasley, but people tend to stop getting older after they die."

"They also tend to stop getting kissed by pretty ladies."

"Well," Severus grinned, "If I had to come back from the dead, I might as well have something to make it worth my while."

"You know, if you don't start making it worth her while, she might just go off and find someone else's while to be worth," Ron informed him.

"I'm not sure what you mean," said Severus.

Ron was aghast. "My God, man, are you _blind? _I saw the way she was looking at you. Bloody hell, you call yourself a Legilomens?"

"A Legilomens with a sense of fair play."

Ron stopped, turned on his heel, and faced him. "Who are you, and what have you done with Severus Snape?"

Severus responded by smacking Ron upside the head, and turning to stalk off down the hallway. "Right, there you are," he heard Ron say to his back. He rounded a corner and ran into James Potter with a group of his friends coming the other way.

"Potter, come here," he ordered. James quickly obeyed, not wanting to cross him a second time in one day. "Let's have a look at that cut," he said, brushing James' hair aside to inspect the wound. It was healing quite nicely. "Well, I don't think you're going to lose your eye," he commented. Then, more gently, "Does it still hurt?"

"No, sir, the pain's nearly gone now."

"I think," said Severus, "That I will give you three points for allowing a potion of unknown efficacy to be tested on you. I'd hate to see you start off with a zero your first class of the year."

James looked relieved, almost to the point of delight. He obviously hadn't expected his Potions master to be quite so forgiving. "Yes, sir, I mean, no, sir. Thank you sir," he said, and hurried off to rejoin his friends.

----------------------------------------

Serene let Ramon out, and then sat on her couch, musing. She wasn't sure how Severus would react if she kissed him. He had failed to react in any meaningful way. She did not know whether to be pleased or disappointed. She had more than half hoped that he would respond in kind to being pecked on the cheek. Another part of her was afraid that she was being too forward, and might frighten him off. This was unlikely, she knew. Severus was attracted to her, there was not question about that, and increasingly, she found herself attracted to him.

There was something else about Severus that had been on her mind. That something was the matter of how he had managed to return in corporeal form. She had wondered about this from the first, and the curiosity had been nagging at her. He explanation to Harry Potter was pure speculation, and she generally didn't like to give out speculations unless she knew them to be well-grounded in fact. However, the idea that Severus had returned bodied because he had left physical remains, while Voldemort had not, was a testable hypothesis, and the scientist in her wanted to test it. That would require authorization from the Ministry to open his grave. The Department of Magical Law Enforcement, particularly the Office of Aurors, had been a bit busy just of late, but now the investigation of the killings of Muggle-borns was nearly complete.

She considered sending an owl to Harry Potter, discarded the idea, then picked it up again. The worst that could happen was that the Ministry would say 'no', and she would be no worse off. She went to her desk, picked up parchment and quill, and wrote a note. Then she went to her window and whistled for Ramon. The little owl returned and landed on her hand, eager for a message to carry. She tied the note to Ramon's extended leg, and sent him off. The message would be waiting for Potter when he arrived in his office in the morning.


	10. Chapter 10

"You look worried," Ginny said to Harry as he dressed for work.

"I am," he admitted. "I'm going to Hogwarts today to tell McGonagall we've got to have the roof of the Astronomy tower torn up."

"And you're worried about her reaction? That's a bit silly, isn't it?"

"I'm more worried about Severus," he told her.

"I thought you said he was all right with the horcrux being destroyed."

"He did seem to be, but then, we are talking about Severus Snape," said Harry. "He's always been a great one for not letting on about his real feelings." He fussed with his ascot, and Ginny fixed it for him. "Also, I wonder what kind of effect destroying the horcrux will have on him."

Ginny looked thoughtful. "Well, he hasn't actually been carrying that part of his soul around with him. I mean, it's been locked away in the horcrux all this time, and he's been getting on without it, hasn't he?"

"I suppose so," Harry allowed. He and Ginny headed downstairs.

"Why don't you invite him for dinner?" she suggested. "We haven't had company in ages."

"It's only been a couple of months, Ginny," he reminded her. He smiled inwardly. Ginny had gotten used to Teddy Lupin being a regular visitor at their table, but he had not been over since he had married Ginny's niece, Victoire. Ginny frowned at him. "All right, I'll ask him," Harry told her, then he kissed her, picked up his broomstick and headed out the door.

Two hours later, Harry was sitting in a chair opposite Minerva McGonagall's desk with Severus Snape beside him. Professor McGonagall looked thoughtful, Severus, grave. Harry was surprised. When he had first mentioned destroying the horcrux to Severus, he had been, if not exactly cavalier, at least accepting of the situation. Now, he seemed unnerved.

Finally, Professor McGonagall spoke. "We'll have to do it during the Christmas holidays, so the repaving won't interfere with classes," she said.

Harry nodded in agreement. Hermione had spent more than four months doing research, trying to find a way to destroy Severus's horcrux while minimizing the damage to the castle. Another two months was not going to hurt anything. "The question is, how do you destroy the stones beyond magical repair? I doubt the Sword of Gryffindor could stand up to the beating, and I'm really not up for hunting down a basilisk and trying to milk it for its venom."

"Why not use Fiend Fyre?" asked Severus's portrait. Severus himself was silent.

The thought made Harry nervous. He remembered Gregory Goyle perishing in the Room of Requirement. "It would work," he admitted. "We'd have to find someone who could control it."

"I'm sure there's someone in Magical Accidents that would be up for the job. I believe that would be the department the task would be assigned to," Severus said, speaking at last.

"It would," said Harry, "assuming there was someone in the department that could be trusted to keep quiet."

"Then it's settled," said Professor McGonagall. "As soon as the students have gone home for the holidays, I'll have Argus take up the paving stones and you can burn them to cinders."

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"You're quiet," Harry commented as Severus walked him to the entrance hall.

"I'm a bit apprehensive, I suppose," Severus replied. "It's easy to be phlegmatic about the prospect of having part of one's soul destroyed in theory, but now that the event has actually been scheduled, I find myself feeling a certain disquiet."

"It's only natural that you would," said Harry. "I've been wondering myself what kind of effect it's going to have on you."

"Probably none," said Severus, seeming to shake off the thought. "It has, after all, been separate from me for quite some time."

"Let's hope you're right." They reached the door, and Harry said, "By the way, Ginny wanted me to ask you to come over for dinner."

"Did she now?" Severus seemed to brighten.

"Yes, she did. She loves having company. Mostly, I think she likes to show off her cooking. She's a hell of a good cook. Gets it from her mother. So, will you come?" Severus hesitated. Harry knew that he had never been a great social animal. Harry decided to try an added incentive. "You could ask Professor Carlin to come," he suggested.

Severus seemed to consider this. "You're sure your wife wouldn't mind an extra guest?" he asked.

"No," Harry assured him. "Ginny's used to cooking for small armies of people. Besides, with the kids at school, the dinner table gets a bit lonely."

By now, a smile was tugging at the corners of Severus's mouth. "All right. I accept," he said finally. "And I'll extend your invitation to Serene."

"Great, then. See you Saturday night, around seven?"

"I'll be there," Severus told him.

------------------------------------------

Back at his office, Harry found a note telling him to report to Shacklebolt. He knew what this was about. He had not mentioned Serene's owl to Severus, as he had not as yet received a reply for her request to open his grave. He was also unsure as to whether she had discussed the matter with Severus. She may have wanted to wait until she found the disinterment had been authorized before she talked to him about it.

He walked to Shacklebolt's office and knocked on the door.

"Come in, Harry," the Minister said. He entered the office, and Shacklebolt invited him to sit down. He was holding Serene's note.

"I've been considering Professor Carlin's request to have Snape's grave opened," the Minister told him.

"And have you made a decision, sir?" Harry asked.

"I have," Shacklebolt told him. "Professor Carlin's curiosity is understandable, and I must confess, I am more than a little curious myself as to what, if anything, would be found in Snape's coffin. However, I don't want to draw any more attention to the matter of Snape's horcrux than is absolutely necessary. I'm afraid I have to say no."

Harry was a bit disappointed. He was curious himself. "All right, then, sir.," he finally said. "I'll send an owl to Professor Carlin and let her know."

Back in his office, Harry sat at his desk reviewing the file of the investigation of the killings of Muggle-borns, which had culminated in the attack at Diagon Alley. He was satisfied that the five people currently in custody were not part of a larger gang. They were just a bunch of punks with pureblood supremacist ideas. They were all young; the oldest of them was twenty three. Harry was glad that the idea of killing Muggles and Muggle-borns hadn't inspired a spate of copycat killings. He would recall his Aurors in the morning.

He was about to put the file away, when a sharp rapping on his doorjamb startled him. He looked up to see Marcie Carrington standing in his doorway. "Oh, hi, Marcie," he said. "What can I do for you?"

"I was wondering if I might have a word," she said, looking about nervously as though worried about being overheard, "about Professor Snape."

"Sure, what is it?"

"It's just that, well, I think I have an idea about what brought him back, and I think you do too, and I want to know if I'm right."

"And just what is your idea?" Harry asked, afraid of what this was leading to.

"He's created a horcrux, hasn't he? That's why you went to Hogwarts today, to see about destroying it."

Harry drew his wand, aimed it and the door slammed shut, startling Marcie badly. "Sit down," he ordered. The girl obeyed. "You haven't talked about this with anyone else have you?" he demanded.

"No, sir," she replied meekly. "It's not exactly the sort of thing you talk about in the lunch room, is it?"

"No, I suppose not." He decided to level with her. "You're right, there is a horcrux. It seems that when Professor Snape killed Dumbledore, it hurt him so badly, it tore his soul in two, and part of it attached itself to the Astronomy tower."

"He didn't do it deliberately, then?"

"No, he didn't," he assured her.

Marcie looked relieved to know that a man she deeply admired had not consciously committed such an evil act. She seemed to be she was about to say something else, but then thought better of it. After a moment's silence, she said, "All right, then. Thank you, Mister Potter." She stood to leave.

"Marcie," said Harry with a warning tone in his voice. She turned to look at him. "You're not to talk about this to anyone, do you understand?"

"Yes, sir," she said quietly, and left the office.

Harry wished he could have been relieved. He knew that Marcie's respect for Severus alone would be enough to keep her quiet about the existence of the horcrux. However, he also knew that her silence alone would not be enough to keep the secret. If Marcie could deduce the thing's existence, others might as well. He knew the Minister was already under pressure to have Severus arrested for Dumbledore's murder.

He was glad that Professor McGonagall was not having similar troubles with the Hogwarts Board of Governors. They were well aware of the precautions Minerva took in hiring new staff, and she had their full confidence that she would not have offered Severus a position if she were not absolutely certain of his loyalties. A few parents had pulled their children out of the school when they learned that Severus Snape had returned to his old position, but for the most part, he had the support of the families of the students as well. He had become, if not exactly popular, at least a respected teacher.

Perhaps it was for the best that the horcrux was now scheduled for destruction. The potential damage to Severus's soul could not be worse than a life sentence in Azkaban. He sighed, and picked up the file he had been reviewing and put it in the filing cabinet. It was going to be a long two months.


	11. Chapter 11

Serene leveled her wand toward Severus's face, looking directly into his eyes. "Legilomens!" It was like trying to stare through a brick wall. Gradually, however, chinks appeared. Suddenly, she caught a flash of a memory. A man shouting "Come here, you little freak!" then a small boy struggling as rough hands held his head underwater. She tried to probe deeper, but Severus had managed to reestablish his defenses. Finally, the effort became exhausting, and she lowered her wand.

"Was that your father?" she asked, knowing what the answer was. "Trying to drown you?"

"Yes, it was. My mother rescued me just in time, but for the rest of my life, I had a horror of having my head underwater. I couldn't even bear to get it wet. I would go for weeks on end without washing my hair. It was quite disgusting, really."

"You seem to have gotten over the fear." Serene shuddered slightly. "I can't imagine somebody wanting to kill their own child."

"Most people can't. It does happen, though. A great number of Muggles don't approve of magic, and are quite unhappy to discover their child is a wizard or a witch. Every now and again, Minerva finds the name of a Muggle-born child has been scratched from her list of children who are to be invited to attend Hogwarts. She checks the Muggle newspapers, and sometimes discovers the child died at the hands of their own parents. She finds it quite distressing." He looked at the clock. "It's getting late. Let's stop for the night."

They left his office, and he walked her through the dungeons, then up the stairs to the hallway that led to her rooms. It was becoming a nightly ritual. Severus increasingly craved Serene's company. He had an ulterior motive when he offered to teach her legilomency. It gave him an excuse to spend more time with her. When he wasn't busy teaching or grading assignments, he felt an emptiness increasingly gnawing at his insides, and her presence did much to fill it.

"Here we are," he said as they reached her door. Then, "Serene, the Potters have invited me for dinner this Saturday night, and that invitation has been extended to you as well. When I send my reply, may I tell them to set the table for two guests?"

Serene smiled. "That sounds lovely. I'd love to go."

"Good. I'll send them an owl first thing in the morning."

She gave him his customary peck on the cheek, they exchanged "good nights" and she retreated into her room.

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They arrived at number twelve, Grimmauld Place at exactly five minutes to seven. Harry introduced Serene to Ginny. They spent a few minutes chatting, getting everyone on a first-name basis, then sat down to dinner.

"I like what you've done with the place," Severus told Harry and Ginny. The walls had been painted a soft yellow. The corners and trim had been done with a green ivy pattern that almost seemed alive. The carpet had a matching mixture of green and yellow, and the upholstered furniture had been selected for colors that mixed well with the carpet and walls. The walls themselves were hung with tasteful pictures and tapestries. "Is it a safe assumption that the lady of the house is responsible for the decor?"

"Of course," said Ginny. "You don't think I would trust Harry to decorate the place, do you? That would have been a disaster." They all laughed at this.

During the course of dinner, Ginny and Serene discussed the spices and seasonings they used in cooking, and it came to light that Serene only knew how to cook Cuban food. "My brother and I had a Cuban nanny," she explained, "and my parents would leave us with her when they would go off on romantic getaways. I was a royal pest, and she had me help with the cooking to keep me entertained."

After dinner, Ginny and Serene headed for the kitchen to "do the washing up," which Harry had learned was women's code for "talk girl talk." Harry and Severus went out onto the back porch to have drinks.

"So, how is Lily getting on in Slytherin?" Harry asked Severus over a glass of brandy.

"Surprisingly well," said Severus. "Of course, her brothers tease her incessantly about it. Which reminds me, I confiscated this from her last week." He pulled a piece of parchment from the pocket of his robe and handed it to Harry, who read it.

"People Who Desperately Need to Be Turned into a Blancmange?"

"You'll notice that the first two names on the list are your sons'. Mine is third. I gave her detention for turning an essay in late, and she was mightily pissed off about it."

Harry looked quite amused. "Why a blancmange? Why not a newt or a toad or something like that?"

"Apparently Lily thinks it would be the perfect crime. Turn someone into a blancmange and serve them up for pudding, and your enemy has been disposed of, and there is no body to be discovered. I don't think she's actually worked out how to do it yet, but if ever one is served in the Great Hall, I plan to take an inventory of people who have angered your daughter before I have any."

"It's brilliant," Harry admitted. "She really is a Slytherin, isn't she?"

"Yes, she is. I'm quite proud of her, actually. Of course, if she actually does turn someone into a blancmange, I'll have her eviscerating boomslangs every Saturday for the rest of the school year."

"Assuming it's not you who gets turned into the blancmange."

"Especially if it's me. I will not tolerate a student turning me into a dessert, not even if it's Lily Evans's granddaughter."

Harry grew quiet. "Do you know, that's the first time I've ever heard you mention my mother, outside of the pensieve?"

"Yes, I know," Severus said softly. "You have no idea how painful it was for me, Harry, looking at you all those years and seeing her eyes, knowing I had played a part in her death."

"I think that if I'd known that you loved her, we would have gotten on better. Why didn't you want me to know?"

"Because I was afraid."

"Afraid of what?" Harry asked him, looking surprised at his admission of vulnerability.

"Afraid of growing attached to you. Afraid that I would fail to protect you, just as I had failed to save Lily. You were all that I had left of her, and if I had come to care for you, then lost you… It was easier hate you, and be hated by you."

"It was really my father, you hated, though," Harry prodded him.

"To a certain point, yes," Severus admitted. "Ultimately, I think I hated myself most of all."

They looked at each other for a long moment. The emotion between them was too deep for words. They sat in silence for a while, and then Severus turned away. He stared into his glass, his brandy long since finished.

"Maybe you should have turned yourself into a blancmange," Harry finally said, breaking the silence.

Severus smiled. "It would have saved us all a lot of trouble, wouldn't it?"

"Yeah. I don't think you would have tasted very nice, though." Severus laughed at this. Harry finished his drink, and they went back inside. Through the kitchen door, they could hear Ginny and Serene giggling like a couple of schoolgirls. They were obviously getting on quite well. Finally they emerged, and Severus collected Serene. After they had bidden their hosts goodnight and left, Harry slipped an arm around Ginny's waist. "Quite a pair, aren't they?" he said.

"She fancies him," Ginny told him. "She didn't exactly say, but you can tell. I wonder why he doesn't ask her out?"

"Probably he's too shy," said Harry. "I'll bet it was all he could do to get up the nerve to invite her along for dinner tonight. I don't think Severus really knows what to do with a woman, outside of being polite."

"I can think of a few ideas," said Ginny with a mischievous glint in her eye, and the two of them headed upstairs to bed.

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After Severus had left Serene off at the door to her rooms, he made the long walk back toward Slytherin Tower. Already, he missed her. Tonight had been the first time since Diagon Alley that they had been away from the castle together. It had been nice. It would have been nicer, though, if they had been alone. If they had been out on a proper date, he might have found the courage to kiss her. As it was, he had accepted the usual peck on the cheek, and then let her escape into her rooms.

He had thought of asking her out, of taking her someplace that they could be alone together. She would accept, he knew. It was becoming plain that their attraction was mutual. He was aware that Serene's failure to take the initiative with him didn't come from a fear of seeming unladylike. She had been betrayed, and that betrayal made her hesitant to enter into a new relationship. He wasn't quite sure what was stopping him asking her out. Maybe it was that he wasn't sure what it might lead to.

He reached the doorway to his house, and gave the picture guarding it the password. He entered, and the common room fell silent. The students occupying it looked up at him curiously. Apparently his and Serene's absence from the dinner table had been noticed and become the topic of conversation.

He made his way to his rooms and undressed for bed. He lay beneath the covers for a while, feeling alone. It seemed that the more time he spent in Serene's presence, the more keenly he felt her absence. The emptiness seemed to taunt him, now that he was alone. He was going to have to do something about it, he knew. Finally, he made up his mind. He was going to ask Serene out. Having made that determination, he snuffed the candle and fell asleep.


	12. Chapter 12

Serene sat panting in the chair in front of Severus's desk. She was knackered, and Severus was starting to look worn himself. Twice tonight, she had nearly cracked his defenses, but ultimately, he was a better Occlumens than she was a Legilomens. After a few moments, she caught her breath. She stood to face Severus, gave him a few seconds to prepare himself, and then raised her wand once more.

"Legilomens!"

She stared hard into his eyes, seeing nothing. Then, gradually, she sensed his defenses starting to crumble. She slowed her breathing, trying to focus, and he slowed his one to match. Then, suddenly, she broke through, and his defenses fell away.

She saw Voldemort, enthroned in a great armchair. A young Severus, perhaps in his early twenties, stood before him. His expression was one of perfect calm.

"There is something you wish to ask of me, Severus?" Voldemort's voice was sibilant, like a serpent's hiss. It matched his snakelike appearance,

"Yes, my lord," Severus said, barely audible.

"Then make your request. You've served me well; I may be disposed to grant you a small favor."

"My Lord, you have determined that Lily Evans' son is the subject of the prophecy I told you of, have you not?"

Not Lily Potter, Serene noted. Lily Evans. Her maiden name.

"Yes, Severus. Her child must die, so that he will not grow up to become a threat to me."

"And what about Lily, my Lord? Must she die as well?"

Voldemort seemed surprised. "You wish me to spare her, Severus? But why?" then, seeming to read Severus's thoughts, said, "You desire the woman."

'Yes, my Lord." He said it without emotion, eyes cold.

"A mudblood, Severus? I'm surprised at you. Surely you could do better. A woman of wizarding blood could come to appreciate a wizard of your considerable talents, given the proper persuasion."

"There is no other woman that I desire, my Lord. I want Lily Evans. Kill the child, and her husband if you must, but I beg you, spare Lily."

"You're begging for her, Severus?" Voldemort laughed harshly. "I had not thought that I would find such weakness in you." Severus made no reply. His face was a mask. Voldemort's tone softened. "Still, you did bring me the prophecy, and for that I owe you thanks." He sat back in his chair and considered for a moment. "Perhaps I could appeal to her sense of self-preservation. "

"I think it unlikely that she would stand aside, and allow you to kill her son, my Lord," Severus said simply, his voice and expression betraying no trace of emotion. "Could you not simply stun her, and then kill the child?"

Voldemort's mouth contorted into a cruel smile. "I'm afraid that is the best I can manage, Severus. The choice of whether Lily Potter lives or dies will be hers own to make. If she chooses to live, I will bring her to you. If not, then you must forget her, and in time you will."

Severus seemed to want to continue the argument, but realized that it would be futile to do so. He simply said, "You will do what you feel you must, my Lord." Then he bowed and left the Dark Lord's presence.

Serene lowered her wand and stepped backward, shaking. She was surprised that she had apparently seen nearly the entire conversation in which Severus had begged Voldemort for Lily Potter's life. Previously, when she had penetrated his defenses, she had seen the memories piecemeal, in a speeded-up montage.

Severus leaned on his desk, and eased himself into his chair, looking tired and sad.

"So, that was the end, for you and Voldemort," she said.

"No. It was the beginning," he told her. "Shortly after that, I met with Dumbledore and begged him to protect her. He agreed in return for my services as spy."

Serene chewed the tip of her wand. Severus took it away from her and set it down on his desk. She picked up a quill and chewed that instead. She found the scene she had just witnessed profoundly disturbing. "It was weird. It seemed like you weren't feeling any emotion."

"It comes with the practice of occlumency," he told her. "I became quite skilled at divorcing myself from my own feelings."

"You didn't care about her husband and baby." She said quietly. "You would have been happy to let them die."

"Especially her husband. I had, shall we say, a history with him." He looked her full in the face. "From that moment on, I was, as you once put it, on the side of sweetness and light, but I was not a good man. When I was begging the Dark Lord for Lily's life, I actually hoped that, with James and Harry out of the way, she would come to love me."

Serene was shocked. "You hoped Voldemort would give her to you as a present?"

"Yes."

"That is just… sick."

He took the quill from her. "As I said, I was not a good man. My view of the world then was severely warped. I didn't realize how warped until Dumbledore told me that part of the Dark Lord's soul had become attached to Harry, and in order for him to be defeated the boy had to die. I wouldn't admit it at the time, not even to myself, but at that moment, I realized that I had come to care for Harry, and not just for his mother's sake. It was torture, spending the next year knowing that I was going to have to send him to his death, and wondering how I was going to do it. It was a relief at the end, to be able to give up my memories to him and leave him to make the decision on his own, then escape into death."

Serene sat back in her chair and absorbed all of this. "That's the second time you've used that phrase," she noted. Suddenly, she came to a realization.

"You let me see that memory," she half accused him. "You wanted me to."

Severus nodded. "Consider it a confession of sorts."

"I don't know if I should feel flattered or cheated," she said. She had thought she had won a victory of sorts, breaking into his mind. Now she knew he had surrendered voluntarily.

"If it makes you feel any better, I didn't plan this in advance," he told her. "When I realized you had found your way to that memory, I felt that I should give it to you." He looked at the clock. "That's enough for tonight. It's late, and we both have classes to teach in the morning. May I walk you to your room?"

Serene nodded. They walked through the corridors, not speaking. Eventually, the silence became uncomfortable, and Serene decided to break it.

"So, are you still planning to poison one of the fourth years?" she asked him.

"Two of them, actually, one in each class," he said, smiling. "It would be a serious break with tradition if I didn't. The students are expecting me to do it. I wouldn't want to disappoint them."

"Isn't that kind of dangerous?" Serene was concerned. "I mean, what if their antidotes didn't work?"

"There's really nothing to worry about," he reassured her. "I would never give a poison to a student unless I was reasonably certain that their antidote would be effective, and in the unlikely event that it wasn't, I always use poisons that can be neutralized by the simple expedient of shoving a bezoar down their throat."

"So, you've never actually killed a student, then," Serene was somewhat relieved.

"Good heavens, no," said Severus. "Dumbledore would have sacked me if I had." Serene managed to laugh at this. "In fact," he continued, "I've never even needed to feed anyone the bezaor."

"You can tell if a potion is going to be effective without testing it?" she asked.

"Nearly always," he told her. "Normally, I test them before I give the students their marks, but with years of experience, I can tell by the color, the consistency, the smell, if a potion has been brewed properly."

They reached her door. They exchanged "good nights" and she gave him his kiss on the cheek. She had opened the door and was about to slip through it into her room, when Severus spoke again.

"Serene," he began slowly, "Would you… would you like to have dinner with me sometime?"

Serene was taken aback. After what he had just admitted to in his office, he was now asking her out. "Severus," she said hesitantly, "We have dinner together every night."

"Oh, yes, you and me, and Hagrid, and Minerva, and the rest of the staff, and about three hundred students. It's all very cozy, but I thought we might go someplace where we could be alone together. Say, a booth at the Three Broomsticks? This Friday evening?"

She considered his offer briefly, and then said, "I'd love to. "

"Right, then," he said. "I'll meet you in the entrance hall at seven."

"I'll be there," she said, smiling, then, "See you at breakfast."

She slipped into her room, closing the door behind her. She found Ramon on the windowsill and opened the window to let him out. Then she poured herself a glass of wine and settled into her chair.

She wondered why he had chosen to let her see that particular memory from beginning to end. She was sure Severus knew exactly what he was doing when he had revealed that memory to her. She just wasn't sure of his motivations. He had made no excuses for his actions; he had simply shown them to her for what they were and allowed her to make her own judgments for good or ill. Then, ten minutes later, he had asked her out on a date. The phrase "informed consent" drifted into her mind. Was that what he was offering her? A chance to accept him not only for what he now was, but also for what he had been, or to reject him if she found the horror of his past to be more than she could live with?

At last, it occurred to her that there were things in Severus's past life that still caused him guilt or shame and that he felt secure enough with her to regard her as confessor. Then again, perhaps his reasons for revealing that particular memory were so complex that she would never truly understand them. One thing was certain, though. Severus would conceal nothing from her. She could trust him. She finished her wine, and was feeling its effects. She went into her bedroom, undressed and went to bed.


	13. Chapter 13

Serene walked into her classroom full of fifth year Gryffindors, and flicked her wand at the blackboard. Twenty-five questions, covering material going from the previous Tuesday's class back to first year lessons appeared, covering one side of the board.

"Great," she heard James Potter mutter. "Another pop quiz."

"Do you object, Mister Potter?" Serene asked, somewhat querulously.

"No, ma'am," he said hastily, and got out his quill and parchment.

"Good. You can stay after class and clean the blackboard. Without magic."

The rest of the class sniggered. Serene turned her back on them and smiled. James had, until fairly recently, seemed to be of the opinion that she could do no wrong. The pop quizzes she had been giving the fifth years had disabused him of this notion. Several of the students had protested, wondering aloud how they were supposed to remember material from four years ago, until she reminded them that they would be sitting for their O.W.L.'s this year, and would have to know all of the same material. The students still weren't happy, but they stopped complaining and started studying.

When the last of the quiz papers had been turned in, she pulled the cover off a stack of cages, each containing a rabbit or guinea pig. "Today, you are going to learn how to heal curse wounds," she told them. The class looked shocked, which was quite understandable. They realized that the animals were going to have to be hurt. "Don't worry," she reassured them. "You will be feeding your animals a potion, courtesy of Professor Snape, that will prevent them from feeling any pain. However, if you don't learn the incantation properly, the animals still might die of their wounds, so_ pay attention_."

She wrote the incantation on the side of the blackboard she had left blank, chanted it, then had the students repeat it. She did this several times. When she was satisfied they had learned the incantation, she took a rabbit out of one of the cages, took a phial from the pocket of her robe, sprinkled it over a bowl of shredded lettuce, and fed a bit of it to the rabbit. "Now, gather around my desk," she said. The students crowded around her. She drew her wand, leveled it at the rabbit, and said, "Sectumsempra."

A large gash appeared on the rabbit's side. The students winced, and a couple of the girls burst into tears. Then, she traced her wand three times over the wound, chanting the incantation each time, and the cut closed, leaving a thin scar. The students breathed a collective sigh of relief.

"Now, everybody take a critter and some lettuce and go back to your desks." The students obeyed, and carried the animals and bits of potion-spiked lettuce back to their desks. As she moved between the desks, cursing fluffy animals, she noted that they were all referring to the blackboard. She could hear them muttering the incantation under their breath.

Only Ariadne Soutsas failed to heal her rabbit. Serene couldn't bring herself to let the animal bleed to death, and healed it herself. Then, she gave Ariadne a few moments to collect herself, and cursed the rabbit again. This time, Ariadne succeeded in healing the wound, but left a heavy scar. Serene would have to apply dittany to it after class.

"Bloody cruel," she heard Kevin McReady whisper, as she passed his desk.

She turned on her heel to face him. "You really think I'm cruel, Mister McReady?"

"Yes, I do," he replied defiantly.

"Then maybe you'd rather learn to heal this kind of wound by the seat of your pants while a human being is in danger of bleeding to death."

This silenced him. Serene didn't enjoy hurting animals any more than the students enjoyed watching her do it, but she had been up close and personal with Sectumsempra's effects, and felt that it was important that students learn how to heal its wounds before they really needed to.

She took one last walk through the classroom, satisfied herself that all of the students had learned the day's lesson, and told them to return their animals to their cages. Then she went to the front of the class and cleaned up the blood on the desks with a wave of her wand. "You've all done well," she told them. "None of these animals will suffer any permanent harm. For your homework, I want two rolls of parchment on curses that can cause injuries, and the countercurses and healing spells for each one. Class dismissed. Not you, Mister Potter."

She went to her office and retrieved a bucket, conjured water to fill it, and placed it on the floor in front of James. Then she took Ariadne's rabbit from its cage, and carried it to her office to tend to its scar.

----------------------------

Severus stood at the main entrance of the castle feeling positively giddy. He looked at his watch. Six fifty-eight. He stared down the corridor that led to Serene's rooms. He didn't see her. He looked at his watch again. Six fifty-eight and twenty seconds. A small group of first years passed by on their way to their common rooms, and looked at him curiously. He hadn't been at the staff table during dinner, and neither had Serene, and he knew that their absence would have been noticed. "Bet he's got a date with Professor Carlin," he heard a passing fourth-year girl whisper to her companions. He ignored the comment. He looked at his watch again. Six fifty eight and thirty-eight seconds. He had never known a minute could last so long. He was feeling a bit foolish. He was, after all, either thirty-eight or fifty-eight years old, depending on how you counted, and he was acting like a teenager going out on his first date. Then again, he hadn't actually dated as a teenager, and never found anyone he considered worth going out with after Lily's death. This really was his first date.

Finally, Serene appeared, wearing a lavender linen dress and a periwinkle blue robe fastened at the throat with a cameo. She had her hair up in a loose bun, revealing a graceful, slender neck. Over her shoulders she had draped a soft grey wool cloak. Her eyes picked up the color of her gown and robe, making them look light blue. "You look lovely," he said as she approached him and took his arm.

She flushed slightly, and dropped her eyes to the floor. "Thank you," she said shyly, then raised her eyes again. "I see you're wearing a different shade of black than you usually do."

Severus laughed. "Yes, I had a great deal of difficulty deciding which black robes to wear this evening."

"Black suits you," she told him. "You should have a set of black robes for every day of the week."

"Now you're teasing me," he chided gently, as they stepped through the door into the frosty October moonlight.

"No, I'm not," she defended. "Not many men could wear black every day without seeming pretentious. You carry it off quite well."

They descended the front stairs and walked out onto the lawn.

"So, how did things go with the fifth years today?" he asked her as they strolled toward the gate.

"Not too badly," she replied. "One of the Hufflepuff boys threw up on my desk when I cursed the rabbit, but outside of that, it went pretty smoothly. I just wish there was a way to teach them to heal curse wounds without actually inflicting the wounds on living creatures."

"Have you considered using animals that would inspire less sympathy? Flobberworms, perhaps?" he asked her.

"I have, yes," she told him. "But the thing is, I want the kids to care about the animals, to want to heal them. I need to have the cute factor for that. Besides, I have a real problem with the idea that it's okay to hurt something just because you find it unattractive."

This struck a nerve with Severus. "I think that if more people thought that way, there would be less bullying going on around schoolyards."

"You're probably right about that," Serene agreed.

"Did the potion work?" he asked.

"Beautifully. Not one of the animals so much as squeaked. They're all fine now, like they didn't notice anything happened to them." Then she seemed to notice something about his expression. "What?" she asked.

"Nothing," he replied. "It's just that I find it disconcerting that a curse I invented has gained such wide currency."

"Well, you did invent the healing spell as well," she reminded him. "That should make you feel better about it."

It didn't, but he didn't say so. They reached the main gate. "Shall we apparate into Hogsmeade, or shall we walk?" he asked her.

" It's a pretty night. Let's walk."

They walked on, happily kicking through fallen leaves. Serene seemed relaxed in his presence. Apparently, his "confession" of the past Monday evening had had the desired effect. By being so open with her, and willing to risk her rejection, he had won a measure of her trust. At the same time, he felt cleansed, as though by letting Serene see the worst of him, he had released himself from it. He hadn't realized that it could feel this good to allow himself to be vulnerable.

They reached the Three Broomsticks, entered, and found a booth near the back, away from the crowd. Madam Rosemerta made her way to their booth. "Good evening, Professors," she said, smiling warmly. "What can I get for you to drink?"

"I think a bottle of elf-made wine will do nicely," Severus said. Serene didn't disagree. Madam Rosemerta disappeared through the crowd, and then returned with the wine and two glasses. "What are our dinner choices tonight?" Severus asked as she poured the wine.

"We have baked chicken, roast pork, or some lovely lamb stew," she replied. Severus noticed Serene's eyes were flicking back and forth between his own and Rosemerta's.

"What do you think, Professor?" he asked Serene.

"I think I'll go with the lamb stew," she replied.

"So will I," Severus said. Rosemerta again disappeared. Serene sat looking thoughtfully into her wine glass. Rosemerta soon came back with their stew, and they thanked her. Again, Serene's eyes flicked between Severus's and Rosemerta's.

After Rosemerta had gone again, Serene said, "You arranged it, didn't you?"

"Arranged what?" Severus tried to look innocent.

"The lamb stew. You arranged it because you know I'm fond of it."

Severus smiled. "You've caught me," he said. "And I must say, your skills at legilomency are improving quite rapidly."

"I have a good teacher," she said, almost dismissively. She seemed a little uncomfortable receiving compliments. Severus found it endearing. "You enjoy it, don't you? " she asked. "Teaching, I mean." She ate a spoonful of her stew.

"Yes, I do," he had to admit. "I'm finding a great deal of satisfaction in knowing that I've managed to impart some knowledge into my students. I feel as though I'm giving a bit of myself to them, and I'm getting much more from them in return."

"Funny how that works, isn't it," she said, smiling flirtatiously.

"Indeed," he replied, catching her meaning.

She sat gazing at him for a few moments, and then said, "Do you know, you have the most amazing eyes?"

"Do I, really?" Severus had heard that a man's eyes were often the first thing a woman noticed about him, but Serene hadn't mentioned them until now.

"Yes, you do. When I first met you, your eyes looked so sad, I thought I might start crying if I looked at them too long. They still look sad, but not nearly as much. Now they look, I guess wizened would be the word."

"Really? I don't think I'm particularly wise," he said.

"Wiser than you were twenty years ago, I'll wager."

"You think having died has made me into some sort of enlightened being?" he asked. "You did say it put things in perspective," she reminded him.

He reflected on this a moment. "I don't know that I'm any wiser," he said. "Less vindictive, perhaps. I used to carry grudges for years, even decades. Now it all seems rather pointless, holding onto old hurts."

"I would say that qualifies as wisdom," said Serene. "And I know you're treating your students a lot more kindly than you did in the past, which is a wise thing to do."

"This is true," he admitted, "but I am finding it gives me more pleasure to be kind than it did to be cruel. As I said, I enjoy teaching. I've come to regard my students with a certain amount of affection. Besides, what you're describing is little more than the sort of wisdom that comes with age and experience."

"Yes, but a lot of people reach old age without really gaining wisdom," she pointed out. "Most people don't really get it until the universe gives them a good hard smack upside the head, which is basically what happened to you."

"I hadn't really thought of it in those terms," he said. "But I suppose you're right."

They finished their stew, and had pumpkin pie for dessert, then Severus paid for their meal and they left the pub. When they got outside, they found the temperature had dropped considerably, and they wrapped their cloaks tight around them.

"Was it strange, being the only witch growing up in a Muggle family?" he asked her as they walked back toward the castle.

"It was, a little, especially after I started at Salem." she replied. "My parents had to deal with a lot of questions about where I was. They couldn't exactly tell people that they were sending me to the Salem Academy of the Magical Arts. They just said I had been accepted at a boarding school for gifted children in Massachusetts."

"Well, they didn't have to lie," he said. "My parents told the neighbors and the family on my father's side much the same thing. My father's parents didn't even know I was a wizard. Did your parents tell any of your family know you were a witch?"

"Just my grandparents, and they were sworn to secrecy," she told him. "My relatives were always asking me about school. I had to creatively rename my classes after things that would be taught in Muggle schools. Still, I had it easier than you. Nobody tried to drown me."

"It was difficult for me growing up, near drowning aside," said Severus. "My father regarded magic as being unnatural, even though it was obviously an inherited ability." Severus really didn't want the conversation to go down this line. He wanted to give Serene a pleasant evening, and talking about bad memories of his childhood was not conducive to that.

"So, how old were you when you started showing signs of having magical ability?" he asked.

"About four, I think," she replied. "My little brother David took a fall and cut his knee up really badly, and I kissed it to make it better. It stopped bleeding immediately, and by the next morning, the cut had completely healed. There wasn't even a scar. My parents were amazed, but I think they thought it was some kind of mind over matter thing."

"I wish it had been that way for me," Severus told her. "When I first started doing magic, things would happen when I was angry. Dishes and such would go flying off the shelves and shatter on the floor. My mother had a terrible time trying to keep up with mending things I'd broken."

"At least your mother could fix them," said Serene. "I broke my share of glassware, and my mom just had to throw it away."

By now, they were back inside the castle grounds. They reached the covered bridge, and stopped to look at the moonlight dancing on the little brook. Serene stood close to Severus, and he slipped an arm around her waist. They stood in silence for a few moments, then Severus looked at her and said, "Do you know that you are almost unconscionably pretty?" Serene flushed pink and turned away. "Especially when you're blushing," he added.

"I don't think I've ever heard 'unconscionably' and 'pretty' used in the same sentence before," she told him.

Severus reached a hand out and rested it on the side of her face, then turned it to face him. "What would you say if I told you that the first time I saw you, I wanted to taste you?"

She was blushing again. "I've never really thought of myself as a potential snack," she said.

"Haven't you?" He leaned in closer.

"No, I haven't." She tilted her face slightly upwards. Severus leaned down and lightly brushed her lips with his own. He half expected her to pull away, but she didn't. He kissed her again, more firmly, and she slid her arms around him and pulled him closer, kissing back. Once their lips parted, she laid her head on his shoulder and nestled her face into his warm woolen cloak.

"So, what do I taste like?" Serene asked after a few moments.

"You taste like lamb stew, and pumpkin pie, and elf-made wine," he replied.

"That's funny, so do you," she said, and kissed him again lightly. They walked on, and as they started to climb the hill toward the castle, Severus saw light in the windows of Hagrid's hut.

"Look, Hagrid's still up," Serene observed.

"Shall we pay him a visit?" suggested Severus.

"Let's," replied Serene.

They knocked on Hagrid's door. Hagrid opened it, and when he saw them, he beamed.

"There you two are. I missed ye at dinner. I was wondrin' where ye'd gotten off to."

"We went to the Three Broomsticks for dinner," Severus told him.

"So, ye finally got up the nerve to ask our Professor Carlin on a date, did ye?" Hagrid teased. "I was just gettin' ready to have a cup of tea. Come on in and join me." Severus and Serene entered the hut. "Sit down, sit down, make yerselfs at home," Hagrid said. He poured them each a cup of tea, then set a plate of freshly made treacle tarts on the table. Serene eyed them apprehensively, then picked one up, dunked it in her tea, and began to gnaw the edge of it. Severus followed suit.

The three of them chatted amiably over tea for about an hour, until finally Severus noticed Serene stifling a yawn. "I think we had best get going," he told Hagrid. "I have to get this young lady home before her curfew." They said their goodnights, and returned to the castle.

"I had a nice time tonight," Serene said outside the door to her rooms.

"So did I," replied Severus. "We should do this again. Often."

They smiled at each other, then Severus leaned over and gave Serene a lingering kiss. Then she slipped her arms around him, and he drew her into a hug. He heard her give a contented little sigh. Finally, she whispered, "Goodnight," and slipped through the door into her room.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Serene lay on her bed, feeling that if she didn't hold onto the covers, she might float away. It had been nearly a decade since she had allowed a man to kiss her the way Severus had. When he kissed her, her heart fluttered in a way that it had not fluttered in years, in a way it had been afraid to flutter. She hoped that there would be many more kisses in the future, and more than just kisses.

She sighed. She couldn't sleep. She wandered out into her living room for a glass of wine. She saw her basket on the table, the one she carried sticks from the forest in, then after she had done her work on them, carried the wands to Ollivander's. The basket was empty now. Pity. Making a wand or two would have given her something to do until she finally felt sleepy, but she never cut wood for wands after the Summer Solstice. She had read from some sources that wands made from wood cut during the waning year would not work with the same power as those cut when the year was waxing. Other authorities said that wands cut while the year was waning were especially useful for working dark magic. Still others dismissed both of these ideas as silly superstition, but Serene preferred not to take the chance.

She finished her wine, and returned to her bed. After a while, the wine did its work on her, and she sank slowly into sleep.


	14. Chapter 14

At the Halloween feast, Severus and Serene found themselves the unwilling center of student attention. There had been much whispering going on amongst the students since they had been absent form the staff table the night they had been to dinner at the Potters', and the chatter increased after their second absence the previous Friday. Many of the students kept glancing at them, then whispering among themselves. "Bit annoying, isn't it?" Severus commented.

"It's to be expected," said Serene. "I don't think it's ever occurred to them that teachers might have love lives. Then a couple of them up and go out on a date, and, well…"

"That's something about the teenaged mind that amazes me," Severus told her. "They're always snogging in the hallways, sneaking out late at night into the rose bushes or seeking out secluded spots beside the lake, but they don't seem to consider the possibility that adults might get up to the same sorts of things, especially not teachers or their parents. It makes me wonder how they think they came into existence in the first place."

"Well, I know with Muggles, they think babies are grown in jars at hospitals and their parents go and pick one up. With wizard kids, I don't know, since most of them are born at home."

"Maybe they think the midwife brings the baby to the house in her handbag and drops it off," offered Severus.

"Yes, but that doesn't explain all the screaming," Serene pointed out.

"I don't think they actually hear much of it," Severus told her. "Usually, when the time comes, the older children are sent off to stay with relatives or neighbors."

"So, where do they think the midwife gets the baby from, if she brings it by the house?" Serene wanted to know.

"It's hard to say. Given the opinion most children have of their younger siblings, they probably think they come from a hen's egg hatched under a toad."

"If that's the case, wouldn't wizards having children be forbidden by the Ban on Experimental Breeding?"

"You are a very silly girl," Severus informed her.

"Yes, I know," Serene said, grinning. "That's why you like me so much."

After the feast was over, Severus suggested a stroll around the grounds, and Serene happily agreed. They took their time, enjoying the clear, chilly air and the moonlight. "There's something on your mind, Serene," Severus said, almost teasing. "What is it?"

Serene looked hesitant. "Well, you know my theory about how you managed to come back corporeal?" she finally said.

"That my physical remains were transferred to the Astronomy tower the night I returned, yes. What of it?"

"A couple of weeks ago, I sent an owl to Harry Potter to see if I could get permission to open your grave."

Severus was a bit shocked. "I don't suppose it occurred to you to consult with me first?"

"It did," she said. "I just didn't want to bring it up unless I actually got permission to do it. I figured, since I didn't, no harm done. But curiosity is eating me alive."

Severus smiled. "I must confess, I'm quite curious myself to see if your theory is correct." His smile turned into a mischievous grin. "Let's do it, then."

Serene blinked. "What?"

"Let's go to Godric's Hollow and open my grave."

Now it was Serene's turn to be shocked. "Severus, you know that's illegal," she said.

"Then we'll just have to be careful not to be caught," he told her. She still looked doubtful. "A man ought to be able to find out what, if anything, is inside his own grave," he said.

Serene thought about it a while. "You're right. It is your grave; you should be able to take a look if you want. Tomorrow night?"

"Tomorrow night," Severus agreed. "Meet me at the gate at midnight.

They ambled back up to the castle, and to the door of Serene's room. After glancing up the corridor to make sure no students were watching, Severus kissed Serene, then kissed her again, greedily, lingering long, and slipping his tongue into her mouth. Their lips parted company, and as they caught their breath, Serene suddenly looked startled. "What is it?" Severus asked.

"I thought I saw someone," Serene replied. They hurried to the intersection of the corridors, but no one was there. They returned to Serene's door, and Severus kissed her once more, this time chastely, said "Goodnight," and slipped away down the corridor to his own rooms.

Friday afternoon, Severus and Serene were summoned to Minerva McGonagall's office. "I wonder what we've done," Severus said as they ascended the spiral staircase. Inside the office, Minerva sat behind her desk, a severe look on her face. "You wanted to see us, Headmistress?"

"Sit down, both of you," Minerva commanded, and they obeyed.

"Professor McGonagall, what is it?" Serene asked, sounding nervous.

"It has come to my attention that a student saw the two of you making out in the corridor outside Serene's room last night," she told them, her voice stern.

"We weren't making out," Serene protested. "I mean, Severus kissed me, but…'

"Silence," Minerva ordered. "I am trying to run a school with nearly three hundred students. It is difficult enough to maintain order without having two of my staff carrying on in the hallways like a couple of teenagers."

"Minerva, if I may…" began Severus. Minerva nodded. "You know how these rumors evolve, how tales become exaggerated. I hardly think a kiss goodnight qualifies as 'carrying on.' It appears that what you heard is a great deal more than what actually happened." Severus was deliberately downplaying the incident. He had been kissing Serene quite passionately, and been seen, but still, it fell far short of what could be considered "making out"

"All the same, Severus, you are supposed to be setting an example for the students. I cannot stop the two of you seeing each other, and I have no desire to do so. However, I must ask that you exercise more discretion in the future, or I shall have to take more severe action."

"Does this mean we can't sit together at the Quidditch match tomorrow?" ventured Serene.

"Professor Carlin, this is a serious matter," warned Minerva.

Severus and Serene sat quiet for a few seconds, then said, "Yes, Headmistress."

"Is there anything else?" Serene asked.

"No, you may go," Minerva answered. "And for God's sake, try to behave yourselves."

As they stepped off the spiral staircase, Serene looked as Severus and said, "Well, that's one to tell our grandchildren about."

"You're planning on us having grandchildren?" he asked her as they walked past a trio of Ravenclaws and on down the hallway.

"I've considered the possibility, yes," she told him.

Severus mulled this over for a moment. The idea of grandchildren appealed to him, especially if Serene was to be their grandmother, but there was a progression that would have to be followed. "You do realize that in order for us to have grandchildren, we would first have to have children."

"I know," she said. "I've been trying to figure out how to do it the other way around, but I don't think we could make it work, even with a time-turner."

"Yes, it does sound a bit dangerous," he allowed. He wondered if he should speak his next thought, the next logical thought, aloud, and decided in favor of it. He liked where this conversation was heading. "I think that if we are going to have children, we will need to be married first."

"Not necessarily," Serene said. "People have children before they get married all the time, at least in the Muggle world. Some people consider it a prerequisite."

"Yes, but it is considered very bad form in our world," Severus reminded her. "And after the dressing down we just got from Minerva, I think it would be extremely unwise for us to have children without getting married first. It might give the students ideas."

"You're right," she agreed. "It would set a very bad example."

"So, it's settled then. We won't be having any children unless we get married first."

"Agreed," said Serene, smiling. They walked a little farther down the hallway, and then Serene asked, "So, does this mean we're engaged?"

"Serene, we've only been on one date," Severus replied.

"Oh, yeah."

At midnight, Severus and Serene met at the gate to the castle grounds. Serene noted that Severus was carrying a small bouquet. "Are those for Lily's grave?" she asked.

Severus nodded. "Does it bother you?"

"No," Serene told him. "I kind of expected that you might want to pay your respects."

They stepped through the gate and disapparated. Seconds later, they were in the cemetery at Godric's Hollow. They walked between the graves, feeling like a couple of naughty children. There was a great assortment of gravestones, monuments, and statuary. Serene knew that much of it was invisible to the Muggle population of the town. They found the monument that marked the graves of James and Lilly Potter. Serene went a few yards on, giving Severus a bit of space. She waited as he knelt on Lily's grave, and placed the flowers on her side of the monument. After a minute, he stood and rejoined Serene. Two rows over, they found Severus's grave.

The headstone was larger than most of those surrounding it, but not massive. It was simple, and made of black granite. What really set the grave apart from those around it was the large collection of gifts that had been left there. Most of them appeared to have been there for a very long time, though a few seemed to have been recently placed. There were the expected flowers, assorted artworks, and poems praising Severus's heroism weighed down by rocks. A particular gift caught Serene's eye. It was a strange stuffed toy, a figure of a tentacled, squid-like monstrosity. "Look," she said. "Someone left you a Plush Cthulhu."

Next to the toy was a large stuffed iguana, apparently an erstwhile pet that had subjected to the ministrations of a taxidermist before being left on the grave as an offering. Severus thought it was rather nice and picked it up. He gave the Plush Cthulhu to Serene, since it was apparent that she fancied it. They looked more closely at the headstone. There was no epitaph. Apparently, nobody could find appropriate words to engrave on the headstone of a man who had lived and died as Severus had. He had been hated in life, yet a hero in death. What could one say?

Severus drew his wand and levitated the grave gifts out of the way. Then, he pointed it at the ground and began tracing a line along the edge of his grave. Serene realized what he was doing, drew her own wand, and started work on the other side of the grave. Soon, they levitated the earth out in a neat block. Some of the dirt at the bottom crumbled and fell back onto the coffin. Finally, Severus levitated the coffin. It was as simple as the monument, a plain wooden box. Severus thought it was appropriate.

They pried the lid from the coffin. Inside they found a shroud. That was all. Aside from the linen cloth that had wrapped Severus Snape's body, the coffin was empty. "It would appear that your theory was correct," said Severus.

"So it seems."

"You seem a bit disappointed," observed Severus. "I would have thought that you would be pleased to have been proven right."

"I am," Serene told him. "It's just that, I'll never be able to tell anyone. We've just made a major magical discovery, but we broke the law doing it. We have to keep it to ourselves."

"It's for the best," said Severus. "After all, a horcrux is one of the most horrible workings of Dark magic. The less that is known about how they work, the better."

"You're right," said Serene. "Let's put this back, and get back to the castle."

They replaced the lid on the coffin, and then levitated the earth back into the hole. They had done their work beautifully. The grass around the hole almost completely covered the seam. It was unlikely that anyone would notice that the grave had been disturbed. Finally, they replaced the various gifts that had been left at the grave, except for the iguana and Plush Cthulhu. These, they tucked inside their robes.

"I feel a bit strange," Severus said. "I've just robbed my own grave."

"Well, it is your grave, after all," Serene told him. "These things were left here for you; you should be able to do whatever you want with them."

"I suppose so," he said. "Let's get back to the castle." They took one last look at Severus's grave, joined hands, and disapparated.


	15. Chapter 15

Fall began to turn into winter. Snow blanketed the grounds, sparkling on the branches of the trees. Severus and Serene stood in a window overlooking the lawn. It was late November, and most of the students were staying inside because of the cold, but quite a few still found outdoor activities appealing. Albus Potter and Scorpius Malfoy were engaged in a rousing duel that was carrying them over the lawn, around and behind trees, through archways and into and out of the courtyard. Lily looked on laughing. Lily looked more like Molly Weasley than she did her namesake, and shared Arthur's fascination with Muggles. She was a sweet child, when she wasn't trying to turn someone into a blancmange, and it had pleased Severus to find that she had inherited Lily Evans's talent for potions.

The boys were obviously having great fun, chasing each other about, shouting incantations, spells flashing from their wands. Eventually, they disappeared around a corner of the castle.

"I'll wager Potter comes back sprouting antennae," said Severus.

"Malfoy. Turkeytail fungus for ears," countered Serene. They had witnessed many of these duels, and one of the boys occasionally ended up in the hospital wing sprouting something inhuman from his face when the other hit him with a curse he didn't know the countercurse to.

"How did those two get to be such good friends?" Severus wondered. "Their fathers hated each other."

"Oh, the usual way. Scorpius would catch Albus going off on some rule breaking adventure, and threaten to turn him in if he wouldn't take Scorpius along."

"Malfoy is a true Slytherin," grinned Severus. "What sorts of adventures would they get up to?"

"The normal mischief," Serene replied. "Stealing food from the kitchen, going off to explore the Forbidden Forest. One time I caught them in the tunnel that leads to Honeyduke's. Apparently House Gryffindor was experiencing a shortage of sweets."

"That sounds like something Albus's uncles Fred and George would do, only they would have had explosions to cover their trail. I'm a bit disappointed in Arthur and Molly Weasley's children, you know."

"Really? Why?" Serene asked. "They all seem to have turned out okay. Well, except for Fred."

"Yes, but I was expecting to find myself teaching thirty or forty of their grandchildren," he told her, "and I've got fewer than a dozen and a half. Molly Weasley gave birth to seven children, and not one of the six who survived the war has managed to produce more than three offspring."

"What, were you expecting the Weasley family to repopulate the wizarding world after the war?"

"I suppose, so, yes," he said. "It's a bit strange, really. So many families that believe in pureblood supremacy only have one or two children. The Weasleys harbored no such foolish notions, yet they seemed to be the only family that was doing their part to make sure there were plenty of pureblood children for the next generation. I expected to find that their children had followed their example, but none of them seems to have done so. I think it's rather sad."

"You're a very strange man," she informed him.

"Yes, I know, that's why you like me." He looked around to make sure no students were watching, and then kissed her.

Soon Albus and Scorpius came back into view, Lily following close behind. The upper half Albus's face was nearly covered by the compound eyes of an insect. Severus and Serene hurried downstairs and intercepted them on the way to the hospital wing.

"What happened?" Serene demanded.

"We were duelling," young Malfoy started to explained, "and, well..."

"And well, you used a curse you didn't know the countercurse to," Serene finished for him. Severus listened, amused. "What have I told you two about using curses you didn't know how to undo?"

"You told us not to do it," said Scorpius.

"Right. Now, Miss Potter, take your brother to the hospital wing." She turned to Albus. "And you, as soon as Madam Pomfrey gets your eyes straightened out, I want both of you in my office. I'm giving you detention."

"But Professor," Albus protested, "that's not fair. He's the one who cursed me, I didn't..."

"No, but you do on a regular basis. As soon as your eyes are sorted out, come to my office." She eyed both boys. "And bring your quills."

Both Scorpius and Albus groaned, and Lily led Albus off to the hospital wing.

"Is that all you're going to have them do, is write lines?" Severus asked. "For an injury that requires medical attention?"

"Oh, no, my dear Professor, they're not going to be writing mere lines." She grinned mischievously. "Messieurs Potter and Malfoy are going to be copying pages from the published works of Gilderoy Lockhart."

"A fate worse than death," mused Severus. This was cruel and unusual punishment, even by his standards. "And I should know, I've experienced death."

"Ah, but have you experienced copying pages from Gilderoy Lockhart's books?"

"Worse than that," he told her. "I've experienced Gilderoy Lockhart himself. He was a hopelessly incompetent wizard, and a conceited, smarmy git. Having his memory erased was the best thing that ever happened to him."

"And yet, he's still the most visited patient at St. Mungo's," said Serene. "I'd better get to my office. It won't take Poppy long to put Potter's eyes right, and I want to be waiting for the boys when they get there."

With that, she whisked away down the hall, and disappeared around a corner.

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After dinner, Severus walked Serene to her rooms as usual. After their lecture from Minerva, she had started drawing him inside the door for their goodnight kiss, and this had lead them to extended rounds of passionate snogging on her couch. He kissed her, his mouth greedy, a deep hunger rising within him. Somehow, her hand seemed to have found its way inside his shirt and was now exploring the skin of his back. This was a new development, and one that Severus found quite enjoyable. The feel of her fingertips on his bare skin thrilled him,. He flushed hot as he felt himself harden in response to her touch..

After a few minutes, she pulled away, gasping for breath. Her eyes glistened with desire. Never had he seen that look in a woman's eyes before, and it increased his arousal. She stood, took his hand and drew him to his feet. He rose, and she led him into the bedroom, tossing her outer robe casually onto a chair. Severus followed suit. They settled onto the bed and continued their kissing . She began to undo the buttons of his shirt. Now it was his turn to pull away.

"Serene," he began haltingly, "I think you should know that beyond the most basic facts of biology, I have no idea what I'm meant to be doing."

"You might start by unbuttoning my blouse," she suggested helpfully. He did so, and soon articles of clothing, then underclothing, were being removed, to be tossed casually to the floor. His hands moved over her bare skin, and she guided them to her breasts. He cupped them gently, feeling them give beneath his touch. He kissed her throat, her breasts, the skin of her belly, drinking in their softness. He felt honored that this beautiful woman was allowing, even encouraging him, to touch her in this fashion. His hands wandered off to explore her more southerly regions.

There was fumbling, and giggling, and then, with a bit of guidance from a gentle hand, he found his way into her. He moved within her, and she moaned. He stopped, thinking he had hurt her, but she urged him to continue. He continued to move inside her, his ardor dampened somewhat by his uncertainty. She moaned again, and gasped, and her hips arched up to meet him. He grew more confident, thrusting himself deeper inside her. Finally, he felt his own climax, his breath quickening as he spent himself. He gazed down at her, and it was apparent by her smile that, in spite of his ineptitude, he had managed to please her. He gazed down at her in wonderment, seeing how her eyes shone. Finally, his hunger sated, he withdrew, and lay alongside her, feeling content.

"How long do you intend to remain here, Severus?" Dumbledore asked him. The wind seemed to be blowing straight through him. The old man didn't seem to notice. Overhead, the Dark Mark hung, bloated, heavy.

"Until someone sees fit to release me," he replied bitterly, knowing no one could.

"The only one who can release you is yourself, Severus," Dumbledore mildly, "seeing that it was you

who trapped yourself here."

"You're the one who trapped me here. Or have you forgotten that I was acting on your orders?"

"The orders were mine, but the choice of method was your own." Dumbledore sighed, and turned to go inside. "The door is open, Severus, if you choose to enter it, but it will not remain open forever. In time it will close, and the consequences for your soul will be dire, should you be on the wrong side of it when it does." Then he was gone, and Severus was alone with the cold.

He awoke and turned over to lie on his side, propped up on his elbow, watching Serene sleep, his dream disturbing the quiet. They had lain together, talking and cuddling, for over an hour after they had made love, then eventually dozed off. He had awakened to find himself alone._I'm not alone_, he chided himself._ She's lying right here. All I have to do is wake her._ Indeed, he wanted to wake her, to talk to her, to engage in one of those ridiculously silly conversations she was so good at initiating, to fill the emptiness inside him with her chatter, to push the dream from his mind. Awake, she was a pleasant companion, a ward to keep the emptiness inside him at bay. Asleep, she may as well have been on the other side of the world.

The dream galled him. Dumbledore, as he always did in these dreams, had implied that he had created the horcrux deliberately. He would never have done such a thing, especially at a moment when he wished to escape from life, not prolong it indefinitely.

He reached out to caress Serene, and she wriggled a bit, snuggling closer. For a moment, the emptiness abated, as she responded to his touch, however unconsciously, then returned. Her body now lay close against him, warm, but still, he felt cold. He considered waking her, and then dismissed the idea. They both had classes to teach in the morning, and at least one of them ought to be wakeful enough for the task. So, he let her sleep. He looked at the clock. It was after two in the morning. He had best be getting back to his room in Slytherin tower. It wouldn't do for the two of them to appear at breakfast together, with him in the same robes he had been wearing the day before.

He kissed Serene softly on the cheek, slipped out from between the covers, dressed, and left her rooms. As he neared the intersection of the hallways, he saw Aurora Sinistra shooing a pair of Hufflepuffs away toward their common room. The night's Astronomy class must have run a bit long. He wondered what the students would think if they knew they were walking over a part of his soul as they came and went from the midnight classes. He walked on toward Slytherin Tower, and then paused. He turned, and headed instead for the Astronomy tower.

He opened the door and walked through it, out into the freezing night air, unsure of what had drawn him here, away from the warmth inside. As he moved toward the far wall, a chill shot through him that had nothing to do with the winter's cold. _A goose just walked over my grave,_ he thought, then he realized that he had just stepped on the spot where he had been standing the night he had killed Albus Dumbledore. On his horcrux. He shuddered at the memory, and then walked over to the low wall, leaning on it, and looked down at the snow-covered ground below, at the spot where Dumbledore's body had lain, lifeless, months before. _Not months, years_ he reminded himself. The memory hadn't receded into the distant past, because to him, the past was not so distant.

He pushed the pain away. Long years of habit made it easy. He could send the pain into a corner of his mind that almost seemed separate from himself, as though divided by a stone wall. He walked back to the place and knelt. He realized that he knew exactly which stone contained that part of his soul. He reached out to touch it with his fingertips, and it felt warm, alive, seeming to vibrate. He was surprised that neither Serene nor that girl from Accidental Magics had been able to detect it. Perhaps only he himself could, because it was part himself contained within; a part of himself that was to be destroyed in just over a month.

The thought suddenly frightened him. He had known for months that the horcrux was to be destroyed, and part of his soul with it. He had not been happy about the prospect. At times, he felt uneasy. But he had reconciled himself to the loss, making himself believe that it was his worst part that was locked away in that stone, a part that he could do without. Now, he was uncertain. He remembered Dumbledore's words from his dream. _In time the door will close, and the consequences for your soul will be dire should you be on the wrong side of it when it does. _Half-consciously, his fingernails scratched at the edges of the stone, as though trying to pry it loose.

No, he realized. For good or ill, what that stone contained was part of him. Without it, he was not complete. That was why, as much as he enjoyed teaching, and the company of his friends, he still felt empty inside. That was why he was unable to find satisfaction even in his lover's arms.

He knew what he had to do. It would be painful, even dangerous, but he had no choice. He had to find a way to make himself whole.


	16. Chapter 16

Serene woke to find herself Severus gone. This was unsurprising. While it was common knowledge around the school that the she and Severus were seeing each other, they still needed to exercise discretion. Minerva had already chastised them for having been seen kissing in the hallways. Severus could not be seen coming from Serene's rooms in the morning.

She smiled as she stroked the sheets on the side of the bed where Severus had lain, holding her, caressing her, after they made love. He had been a highly considerate if somewhat inept lover. It had never occurred to Serene that Severus might be a virgin. Even with his unattractive appearance, and apparent lack of personal hygiene, she would have thought that by the age of thirty-eight, he would have found some opportunity. Perhaps a dark witch wishing to get in good with Voldmort might offer herself to the man who was seen as the Dark Lord's right hand.

She showered, dressed, and went to the Great Hall for breakfast. She took her usual seat at the staff table next to Severus. "Good morning," she said, smiling.

"Good morning, Professor," Severus replied, and Serene felt as though she had been slapped. His tone and manner were not those of a man greeting a professional colleague, not a lover. He was coolly, almost chillingly polite. They ate in near silence. At lunch, and again at dinner, she found him cordial, but completely lacking in warmth. He did not walk her to her rooms as he had each night for the past few months.

She entered her rooms, and saw the Plush Cthulhu he had given her the night they had opened his grave, sitting in the place she had made for it on her bookshelf. She grabbed it and shook it. "Why?" she demanded, then flung the toy at the wall when it didn't provide an answer. "Asshole," she spat as it slid to the floor.

She went into her bedroom and threw herself, fully dressed, onto the bed she had shared with Severus only the night before. "Why?" she asked the ceiling., tears streaming from her eyes. "Why isn't he talking to me?" The ceiling was as mute as Plush Cthulhu had been. There had to be a reason. Had she been too forward last night? Did Severus think less of her because she had offered herself to him, rather than wait for him to take the lead in seducing her? It seemed unlikely. The fact remained, however, that he suddenly seemed to want nothing to do with her. There had to be a reason.

Finally, she couldn't stand it anymore. She would not be cast aside without reason or explanation. She stood up, smoothed her robes, and composed herself. Then she walked out of her rooms and into the hallways.

She cornered a fourth-year Slytherin boy who was just headed for his house Common Room and asked him to find out if Professor Snape was in his rooms. He wasn't. She checked the staff room, and the Great Hall, but he wasn't there, either. Finally, she had one more idea of where she might look for him. She headed for the Astronomy tower. She climbed the stairs, opened the door, and stepped out into the cold moonlight. Severus was standing with his back to her, his hands on the low stone wall, looking at the ground below.

"Severus," Serene began, hesitant.

"Serene," he replied, without turning to face her. Not 'Professor'. That was an improvement.

"Did I do something wrong?"

"No."

"Then why… you've hardly talked to me all day."

"Serene..." He turned to face her, biting his lip. "I think it would be best if we didn't see each other for a while," he told her.

Her stomach sank as though he had thrown her off the tower to fall the hundred or so feet to the ground. "I can't believe I'm hearing this," she gasped. "This is it, then. You made love to me, and now you've lost interest in me."

"I haven't lost interest in you, Serene," he said quietly.

"Then why?" she demanded.

Severus sighed. "I've wronged you," he said.

"You used me," she accused.

"I did," he said, his voice barely audible. "In a way I don't think you could even begin to understand."

"How?" she was surprised at the admission, but there was more to be told. "In what way?"

"I was looking to you to complete me, to make me whole," he told her. "I had no right to expect you to be able to do that."

She approached him, stood beside him. She looked up at him in bewilderment. "Isn't that what couples are supposed to do, Severus? Complete each other?"

"Couples join together to form a greater whole," he said, and turned away from her again. " I could never complete you, Serene, and you could never complete me, not in the way I need to be completed."

Now her eyes found the spot on the ground he was staring at. "The horcrux," she said.

He nodded. "I've come to realize that a part of myself is missing, and that is a void you could never fill, even if you emptied yourself out trying. I can't allow you to do that." His eyes met hers. "I intend to try to get that part of myself back."

It was a long moment before Serene spoke again. "You could die in the process, you know that."

"I know. But I think perhaps it would be better than to die with my soul intact than to live half a life."

"Severus…" she began, but he pressed his fingers over her lips.

"No, don't try to talk me out of it." He laid his hand against her cheek. "I can't love you with half a soul, Serene. I'm sorry." He kissed her tenderly on the forehead, and went back inside.

Serene stood on the tower, looking up at the sky. Clouds began to gather, obscuring the moon, making the darkness still darker. She tried to absorb what Severus had said to her. He was willing to risk his life to bring his soul back into oneness. She wondered what would happen if he failed. She had assumed that the part of his soul that lay in stone was a thing separate from him, and that when the horcrux was destroyed, the part that remained in his body would remain untouched. She had been a fool. There was little in the literature about horcruxes, even the darkest books seemed to have been magically edited. Still, she should have known.

She turned, went back inside, and ran down the stairs, nearly tripping and falling. She went to her rooms, and furiously began pulling books from the bottom shelf. She removed the board, and drew out the volumes she kept hidden behind it. There had to be something here, something that might be of help to Severus. There just had to be.

She didn't sleep. She stayed up all night reading, and on into Saturday morning. She looked at the clock, and realized she had missed breakfast. It didn't matter. She wasn't hungry. She spent another hour paging through the forbidden books, fearing she might never find what she was looking for. It occurred to her that she really didn't know what she was looking for. Finally, her eyes refused to focus. She replaced the books on the shelf, covered them with the board, and then covered that with the more innocent volumes.

She spotted Plush Cthulhu on the floor, where it still lay after she had thrown it. She crossed the room, knelt, and picked it up. The thought entered her mind that if Severus succeeded in his quest to restore his soul, he might wind up being buried again in the grave where they had found the toy. She pushed the thought away. She didn't want to think about Severus dying. Serene had grown accustomed to being alone in the years before she met Severus. It had never bothered her. Now the loss of his near-constant companionship filled her with a deep lonliness. She sat on the floor for several minutes, hugging the stuffed toy, wishing for some company. Finally, she got up, replaced Plush Cthulhu on the shelf, put on her cloak, and headed out of the castle toward Hagrid's hut.

She knocked on the door, and he let her in."Wha's the matter?" he asked her, before she had gotten her cloak off.

"Nothing," she told him. She couldn't tell him of Severus's predicament. Hagrid had a good heart, but a terrible head for keeping secrets.

"Now, it ain't nuthin, fer ye to be lookin' like that," Hagrid said. Then, "You an' Professor Snape had a quarrel, didn' ye?"

"Not exactly, no," she told him as he poured her a cup of tea and offered her a treacle tart. "But we're not seeing each other any more. He broke it off with me the other night."

Hagrid was furious. "Has he lost his wits, lettin' a sweet girl like yerself get away?" he roared. "I've a mind ta..." He composed himself a bit. "What happened, then?"

"He's having some problems he needs to work out, and he doesn't think I can help," she told him.

"What kinda problems?" Hagrid wasn't going to let her off so easily.

"It's a coming back from the dead weirdness thing," she said.

"He's not ill, is he?" Hagrid asked. "I been noticin' he ain' been eatin' much."

"No, he's not ill," she said._He could die,_ she thought,_ but he's not actually ill._ "He just has a lot on his mind right now." She started to choke up. "God, I wish he'd talk to me," she said, tears stinging her eyes.

Hagrid gave her a handkerchief, and she blew her nose. "He won' talk ter ye," he said. "I know Severus Snape, an' if there's one thing he's good at, it's keepin' hisself to hisself." He was quiet a moment then said, "Ye love him, don't ye?"

"Yes, I do." She blew her nose again.

He patted her on the shoulder. "There there, don' cry. He'll come back to ye, you'll see. He'll work out whatever it is he's got ter work out, an' when he does, he'll come lookin' fer ye."

"I hope you're right," she sniffled.

She picked up a treacle tart and began to gnaw on the edge.

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"You're late, Miss Soutsas," Severus said in a warning tone as Ariadne Soutsas scurried into the dungeon classroom. The other six fifth-years looked up from their cauldrons and said nothing. Ariadne mumbled an apology and sat down. Severus placed a sheet of parchment with the instructions for a Strengthening Solution in front of her. "The fact that these are remedial lessons, and not regular classes does not mean that you may show up at your own convenience," he said coolly. "I'm taking five points from Gryffindor for your tardiness. If you are late again, you will receive detention. Do I make myself clear?"

"Yes, sir," she said. He left her to check on the students who had already started work on their assigned potions. So far, they all seemed to be chopping and crushing their various ingredients and adding them in their proper order. He glanced over at Ariadne and suppressed a sigh. The last thing he wanted to do right now was hand out detentions, but the discipline of students was a fact of life for a teacher. So were remedial lessons. He could not allow his internal quest to heal his soul interfere with his teaching duties.

There had been a time when Severus would have allowed struggling students to sink or swim come time for their O.W.L. exams. That time was long passed. Now he wanted to give each student the best possible chance of getting an Adequate mark or better. To that end, he had started giving remedial lessons on Wednesday evenings, assigning each student the potions they seemed to have the most difficulty with. He had relaxed his standards for admission to his N.E.W.T. classes a bit. An Exceeds Expectations would now suffice, where once he had required an Outstanding mark.

He sat on the edge of his desk and watched as the students stirred the contents of their cauldrons and added their ingredients. He examined the contents of Calliope Whitfield's cauldron. "Is this supposed to be a Draught of Peace?" he asked her.

"Yes, sir," she replied, seeming a bit intimidated.

"It's turning out a rather interesting shade of orange," told her. A Draught of Peace was supposed to be a golden color. "Obviously, you didn't crush the hellebore properly before chopping it. I did show you the proper technique, did I not?"

"Yes sir, you did."

"Obviously, you didn't pay attention." Calliope turned away, looking embarrassed. Severus had little

hope that Miss Whitfield would pass her Potions O.W.L., but he was not going to give up on her until after the exams were over.

One by one, the students finished brewing their potions, ladled them into phials, labeled them and placed them on his desk. He dismissed each one as they turned in their potions, vanishing the remaining contents of their cauldrons. Finally, he carried them into his office for testing. They had all turned out except for Calliope Whitfield's. He wrote down their marks in his attendance notebook. Then he left his office and headed to his rooms, bypassing the door that led through the common room to use his private entrance a few yards further down the corridor.

He lay awake for a while, engaged in introspection. He was unaccustomed to this sort of navel-gazing, but it was necessary. He cast his mind back to that night on top of the Astronomy tower, twenty years ago. He remembered Dumbledore pleading, and, as always, the memory filled him with anger. How was he supposed to feel remorse for killing a man who had ordered him to do it? Worse, how was he to find that remorse within himself when he still hated Dumbledore for giving that order? Yet, find it he must. If he succeeded, he would live as a whole man, or he would die. If he failed, he would lose half of his soul.

Eventually, weariness overtook him, and he fell into a dark, dreamless sleep.


	17. Chapter 17

Days passed. A brief warm spell partially melted the snow, then a cold front blew in and froze it into ice. Serene sat beside Severus at breakfast, not talking to him. He stole a glance into her eyes. The pain of his rebuff had lessened over the past several days, now that she understood the reason for it, but it was still there. They spoke little, but they were becoming at ease in one another's presence once more. She had accepted the situation for what it was. He missed her, though. He had to struggle to keep himself from going to her room nights. Even walking her to her door was too much temptation. It would be far too easy for him to seek comfort in her body, rather than deal with the pain he knew he must endure if he were to be able to love her fully, as he wished. For now, it was best to let her alone.

"You're not eating." He looked up at Serene, pleased to hear the sound of her voice. She looked worried. She had reason to be. He had lost a few pounds, and on his thin frame, the small loss of weight was noticeable. Some of the students were whispering that he was ill, and that was the why he had broken it off with Serene.

"I'm not very hungry," he told her.

"I know a potions master who might be able to hook you up with an appetite stimulant," she suggested, her voice low. "I'd hate to see you starve to death before you get yourself back together."

"I'll be all right," he reassured her, not sure if he was telling her the truth. "You've been pulling your hair out, haven't you?"

"No," she said, and he knew she was lying. She always pulled at her hair when she was stressed, and he knew she had been deeply worried about him this past week. He touched her hand lightly, and let the matter drop.

For the past several days, he had been trying to reconnect with the part of himself that he had hidden away in stone. He tried to allow himself to feel the pain of his past, the guilt of the torments he had inflicted on the parents of the children he was now teaching. He had even called up the memory of watching Charity Burbage die, and seeing her corpse devoured by Voldemort's snake. But now that he actually wanted to feel, he found he couldn't. All he could feel was cold.

He became aware of Serene watching disapprovingly as he pushed his food around on his plate. He ate a few bites of scrambled eggs and toast, more to please her than out of hunger. Finally, when he had eaten enough to satisfy her, he left the table to go to his classroom.

He got through the day's lessons, tested the students' potions, read and graded their homework assignments. At lunch and dinner, Serene and Hagrid both pressed him to eat, despite his protestations that he wasn't hungry_. __I really should stop sitting between those two,_ he thought after dinner as he made his way to the Astronomy tower. On the roof, he knelt in front of the paving stone that contained half of his soul, reached out a hand and touched it. Then he stood and walked to the spot where Dumbledore had been, begging him to keep the promise he had made, to perform that one small service.

The memory filled him with anger, and loathing. Dumbledore had abandoned him. That pain, he could still feel. That was the pain that had driven him to sever part of his soul and lock it away in stone, the pain that Severus was unable to forgive.

He heard the door open behind him, and looked to see Serene standing there. He smiled as she approached him. "How goes the battle?" she asked.

"So far, not well," he told her. "I appear to have spent so much time pushing my feelings away, they've forgotten how to find their way back."

"Maybe you just need time," she said, and laced her fingers with his. He allowed himself to indulge in her touch. It reminded him of why he was trying to reunite the two halves of his soul.

"Maybe," he said softly.

"I've been doing some research," she told him. "I'm trying to see if there might be some other way of getting your soul back in one piece."

"And how is that going?"

"So far, nada. I'm going to keep looking, though."

He smiled softly. He knew a fair bit more about the dark arts than she did. There was no spell for what she was proposing. He wasn't going to tell her that, though. Feeling that there was something she could do to help might stop her fretting. Suddenly, she stood straight and looked up at him as though a sudden thought had just entered her mind. "You know which stone it is, don't you?"

"In point of fact, I do," he affirmed.

"What if… what if we pried it up and replaced it, and hid it? We could pour an aging potion on the new stone, and no one would know the difference."

"The thought has crossed my mind," he told her, "but I think it likely that the Ministry has placed charms over the place that would alert them if we tried to do that."

She looked deflated. At last, she said, "Come on. It's cold out here. Let's go back inside." She tugged at his hand, pulling him toward the door. He followed. They descended the stairs hand in hand, and then walked to the intersection of the hallway that led to her rooms. He left her there, unkissed, and returned to Slytherin Tower.

In the common room, he found Scorpius Malfoy sitting on the couch, chatting amiably with Lily Potter. He noticed the boy's hand slowly creeping across the back of the couch, shyly approaching Lily's. He found himself smiling, quietly hoping this relationship would end up better than his own friendship with Lily's namesake had. He thought it would. Scorpius seemed to have inherited Draco's better qualities, but lacked his cruelty and his cowardice. Suddenly, the two children spotted him, and Scorpius quickly withdrew his hand. "Hello, Professor," he said, blushing slightly as though he had been caught breaking some minor school rule. "Hello, sir," added Lily, seeming innocent of Scorpius's intended advance.

"I trust you two have been behaving yourselves," he teased them.

"Of course, sir," said Scorpius. Lily only laughed. He left them, and returned to his own room. _In another year or three, they might get around to kissing, _he found himself thinking as he ascended the stairs that led to his room. He wondered what their fathers would think, having been old enemies. He decided Draco would disapprove, and Harry would remain neutral on the subject. Scorpius was already best friends with Albus, the only one of the Potter children who had inherited his grandmother's eyes. The thought of Lily gave him a small, sharp twinge, welcome under the circumstances. He felt it, then it passed. He pulled a random book off the shelf, and read a while, then undressed and went to bed.

Serene looked at the two first year Slytherin girls who stood in front of her desk, trying to look innocent. She laid out two essays in front of them. "Notice any similarities?" she asked them.

"Of course they're going to be a little alike, Professor," Elise McKenzie protested. "They're on the same subject, aren't they?"

"And we used a lot of the same books when we were doing the research," added Demeter Scott.

Serene had found the unmistakable signs of plagiarism while reading their assignments the day before- some sentences with nearly identical structure, except for one or two words having been changed, others using nearly identical wording, except for the subjects and predicates having been reversed. At first she had suspected that one of the girls had stolen the other's notes, but now that she had them in front of her and could look into their eyes, it was clear that Elise had allowed Demeter to copy her essay. She was finding that legilomency was coming in handy in her dealings with the students. Severus had suspended her lessons, but he still encouraged her to practice.

"All of the essays the students in your year wrote are a _little_ alike," Serene informed them sternly, "and a lot of the students used the same books you two did. Yet, somehow, the rest of your class managed to avoid turning in nearly identical papers. Now, which one of you copied from he other?" She already knew the answer, but hoped that one or both of them would confess.

"I didn't copy," insisted Demeter, unaware that her own choice of words would give her away, even if her teacher didn't already know the truth. "I did all the work myself."

"Did you really? I wonder." Serene sat back in her chair. "Cheating is a very serious matter," she told them. "If these were exam papers, I would bring this to the attention of the headmistress." Both girls looked panicked. "However, since this was a regular homework assignment, I'm going to give you another chance. I'm giving both of you detention. You're both going to write your essays over again. I want you both in my classroom Saturday morning at eight o'clock. Bring your library books."

"Yes, ma'am" they both said, and she dismissed them.

She turned her attention to the stack of fifth year homework that lay on her desk. As she read the assignment papers, she suddenly felt a small, sharp pain on her scalp, and saw a single strand of hair wrapped around her right index finger. Great. She had been pulling her hair out so much lately that she wasn't even aware she was doing it anymore. She finished reading the papers, giving them marks, all the while making a near-heroic effort to keep from winding strands of hair around her finger and yanking them from her scalp. Once the papers were done, she left her office and went to her rooms.

Life at Hogwarts went on, oblivious to the fact that the school's Potions master was quietly engaged in a battle for his very soul. She found herself annoyed at Life at Hogwarts. Indeed, part of her felt that the Universe Itself should come to a halt and wait while Severus struggled to rejoin the two halves his soul. She was almost amazed that she was able to keep up with her teaching duties knowing the man she loved might either die or end up living some sort of shadow life, a reasonable facsimile of a human being.

Unconsciously, she began winding a strand of hair around her finger, but caught herself before she pulled it out. She had to quit doing that. Severus had enough on his plate without worrying about her worrying about him. She was becoming exhausted with worry. She hadn't been sleeping much at night, and the lack of sleep was taking its toll. She had resorted on occasion to a sleeping draught, but she didn't want to become dependent on them.

She poured herself a large brandy, and picked up last month's _Transfiguration Today_, which she had found abandoned in the staff room, and began to read. After a while, the brandy began to work its way into her system, and she curled up for a much-needed nap.

She awoke, and the clock on her wall informed her that she had missed supper. No matter. She had needed sleep more than she needed food, and the house elves were always happy to prepare a snack for her when she had missed a meal. She made her way to the Great Hall, hoping there was lamb stew. There wasn't, but the house elves warmed up some leftover pork pie and made her a nice spinach salad. She was glad that her worrying hadn't affected her appetite much. Severus was losing weight, and Madam Pomfrey was always dragging him off to the hospital wing to perform diagnostic charms. She couldn't find anything physically wrong with him, and prescribed a Calming Concotion, which Severus had refused to take. Serene understood, though Madam Pomfrey didn't. He needed to have his mind alert in order to confront his inner demons.

She finished her meal, and went to the roof of the Astronomy tower, but Severus wasn't there. She was quietly relieved not to find him. She wondered if he had visited this place briefly and left, or if he had simply decided to come up here tonight. She hoped he had taken the second option. He was spending unhealthy amounts of time up here, in the winter's cold, and when she found him here, she would always coax him back inside. She waited a few minutes, to see if he would come, but he didn't. Finally, she turned and went back inside herself, returned to her room and went to bed.

Severus climbed the stairs to the owlrey, a dry cough ripping his lungs. He had caught a bad cold from spending his evenings on the Astronomy tower in the freezing air. Poppy Pomfrey had made a great fuss over his lack of appetite and loss of weight over the past few weeks. When he had developed a cough, she had put him to bed for three days. Neville Longbottom had covered his classes, and had done a surprisingly good job of it.

He had mostly recovered, thanks to Poppy's care, and heavy doses of Pepperup Potion, but when the cold air hit his lungs, the cough had painfully returned. Severus hadn't been the only teacher who had been sick that week. Professor Malachi, the Arithmancy instructor, had gone for dinner at the Hogshead, and gotten a horrid case of food poisoning. Serene had taken over her classes while she recovered. Severus was grateful. The extra workload had busied her and kept her mind off worrying about him for a while.

He reached the owlrey, and several of the school owls fluttered down and extended legs, eager to carry a message. He chose an aging Snowy owl. It reminded him of Hedwig, Harry Potter's beloved owl, who had become a casualty of the Second Wizarding War. Alastor Moody had also died in that battle over Surrey, and George Weasley had lost an ear, courtesy of Severus's own bad aim. He tied the letter to the owl's leg and released it. "Hurry," he told it as it flew off into the night sky. "I haven't got much time left."

Harry apparated at the gate, then mounted his broomstick. He sailed up over the castle, circled it and found Snape standing on the roof of the Astronomy tower, leaning on the low wall, looking down. He landed, narrowly missing stepping on an icy patch.

"Harry," Severus said softly, without turning around.

"Severus," he replied. "I hear you've ditched Professor Carlin."

Severus turned to face him. "I think 'ditched' is rather a harsh word, but, yes, I have broken off our relationship, at least for the time being."

Harry walked over to stand beside him, propping his broomstick against the wall. "Does it have anything to do with why you asked me to come here?"

"In point of fact, it does." Severus. He turned and looked down at the ground. "Harry, do you remember what I said to you when you reminded me that destroying my horcrux would mean destroying part of my soul?"

"Yeah. You said you hoped you would get to keep the better part."

"Well, I have a bit of a problem. It seems that I may not be keeping the better part of my soul after all."

Harry was shocked. "You think you, I mean, it ended up in the horcrux?"

"I believe you were about to say that I put it into the horcrux, and yes, I think I did."

"But how? Why?" It sounded like Severus was admitting that he had created the horcrux deliberately, and Harry's mind wasn't quite able to contain the thought.

"Because I couldn't deal with the pain of having to kill the only real friend I had, and of living with the knowledge that everyone I cared about would hate me. Worse than that, I knew that after killing Dumbledore, I would somehow have to convince the only part of Lily that I had left to me to offer himself up to death at the Dark Lord's hand. So, I split off the part of myself that cared, that could feel for another human being, and buried it in the stone at my feet."

It was true, then. Severus was, in fact confessing to what Harry suspected. He had, knowingly used Dumbledore's death to create a horcrux, though not for the usual reasons. "You let me believe it was an accident," he finally said. "You let everybody believe it."

"I more than half believed it myself," Severus said quietly. "It has only been quite recently that I've been able to admit to myself what I had done. I hadn't actually planned doing it. At the time, it seemed that my only other option was to break the Unbreakable Vow."

"You mean, commit suicide," Harry said. "That would have been the coward's way out, and if there's one thing you're not, it's a coward." They both grew quiet, and then Harry spoke again. "That explains something."

"What would that be?"

"Why you used an Unforgivable Curse. I can think of a half-dozen curses you could have used to kill Dumbledore. The shape he was in, a Stunning Spell probably would have done him in. But you used the Killing Curse. Thing is, you really have to hate someone to make an Unforgivable Curse work."

"At that moment, I did hate him," Severus admitted. "Enough to tear my soul in two. Which brings us back to my problem. In less than a week's time, the part of my soul that I left in that stone is scheduled to be destroyed, and I'm afraid of what will happen to me when it is."

"You want to try to put it back together."

Severus nodded. "I'm not sure I can work up the remorse it would take to do it in so short a time. I've been trying for weeks, and I can't seem to find it within myself."

"I imagine it's a bit difficult to feel remorse for killing someone when they asked you to do it." He bit his lip. He didn't address the fact that the kind of remorse needed to restore his soul might kill him. He was sure Severus was all too aware of that. "You want me to try to buy you some time."

"As much as you can."

"That might be a bit tricky," Harry told him. "There are quite a few people who have made educated guesses about how you managed to come back from the dead. The Minister is under a lot of pressure to have that horcrux destroyed. Right now, we've got not disrupting classes as an excuse, but once the students have left for holidays…" He sighed. "I'll talk to the Minister. I can't promise you anything, but I'll explain your situation to him, and see if I can get him to give you some more time."

"That's all I could ask of you, Harry," Severus said simply.

Harry reached for his broomstick, then a thought occurred to him. "Have you forgiven him, Severus?" he asked. Severus looked confused. "Dumbledore. Have you forgiven him for asking you to kill him?"

Severus took a long moment to reply. Finally he said, "I like to think I have. I'm having rather a nice life. I like to think that pays for all. But no, I haven't forgiven him."

"That might be a good place to start." With that, Harry mounted his broomstick, and took off into the night.

Serene climbed the stairs to the Astronomy tower and stepped out onto the roof. As expected, Severus was standing there, looking down at the ground. "You shouldn't be out here," she chided him gently. "You're not over that cold yet. You'll end up catching pneumonia."

"I know," he said, turning to face her. "I was just about to go back inside."

"What were you doing up here in the first place?" she asked, looking into his eyes.

"I needed to meet with someone in private."

"Harry Potter," she said.

"Yes. I asked him to make a small request of the Minister on my behalf."

"To ask if he would put off destroying the horcrux."

"Yes."

Serene was surprised that Severus was so unguarded. She supposed at this point, he needed to be. She knew his history well enough to know that there had once been a time when separating himself from his emotions was an absolute necessity. Now, it was a luxury he couldn't afford. With his defenses down, Serene could easily read his emotional state. Increasingly, over the past few weeks, she was seeing fear in his eyes. It wasn't death he was afraid of. He had faced death before. She knew what he was afraid of, and there was nothing she could do to help.

"Come back inside, Severus," she said, taking him by the hand. He smiled wanly, and followed her.

"Absolutely not," said Kingsley Shacklebolt. "But sir," protested Harry, "We're talking about a man's soul."

"I am well aware of that, Harry. But you must understand the pressure I'm under. You know as well as I do that there are some highly influential people who think Severus Snape belongs in Azkaban. He has already had more than five months. If I try to delay the destruction of his horcrux any longer, they'll be demanding that he be tried for murder." Harry felt deflated. "I'm sorry, Harry," Shacklebolt said gently. "That's my final word on the matter."

Harry left Shacklebolt's office to find Ron, Hermione, and Marcie milling about the hallway, trying not to look like they were waiting for him. When he stepped out of the office, they converged on him. "Well, what did he say?" Hermione asked breathlessly.

"He said no," Harry told the three of them.

"The bastard," Ron spat. "He could at least given him until after Christmas."

"No, he couldn't," Harry said. "It's all Shacklebolt can do to keep Severus from being hauled up before the Wizengamot for trial."

"He'd be acquitted," said Marcie. "Everyone knows Dumbledore asked him to do it."

"I know, but there's the other small matter," Harry reminded her. "Not everyone is convinced that was an accident. I'll be going to Hogwarts to tell Severus tonight. This isn't the sort of news he should be getting by owl."

Severus stood mute, contemplating the news Harry had just given him. Finally, he said, "You did what you could. I couldn't have asked any more of you."

"I wish I could have done more," Harry said. "You still have five days," he added, his voice full of forced hopefulness. "Maybe..."

"Maybe," whispered Severus, gazing off into the distance. The wind cut into him.

"You still have five days," Harry said again. "It's up to you to decide what to do with them."

Severus laughed bitterly. "You sound like Dumbledore," he said.

"Dumbledore was a wise man. You should have listened to him more," Harry replied. Then he mounted his broomstick and sailed off toward the gate.


	18. Chapter 18

A heavy silence hung over number twelve Grimmauld Place. The children were upstairs sleeping. They had been aware of the tension that had surrounded the dinner table that night, but they didn't know the reason for it. Harry sat on the couch with his arm around Ginny's waist. Ginny had given up convincing him there was nothing he could do, that what was going to happen tomorrow wasn't his fault. Hermione had brought a stack of books, and was sitting at the dining room table, reading furiously, in a last-ditch effort find out if there was some way to extract the piece of soul from a horcrux aside from the person who created it feeling the deepest remorse. Ron was doing his best to help, but books had never been his strong suit.

Marcie Carrington sat across from them, glumly stirring a cup of tea that had long since grown cold. Harry pitied her almost as much as he did Snape. Marcie had the misfortune of being the only witch on the Magical Accidents Reversal Squad who could conjure and control Fiendfyre, and so the task of destroying Snape's horcrux had fallen to her. She was deeply unhappy about having to destroy part of the soul of a man she so admired, even though she had only met him once, and that, briefly.

Hermione slammed the book she was reading shut in disgust. "Nothing," she said angrily. "There's nothing."

"Come on, Hermione," Ron said, trying to soothe her. "We haven't been through all these books yet. There might be something there."

"No, she's right." Marcie had stopped stirring her tea. "I mean, think about it, what's the likelihood that the kind of person who would kill somebody to create a horcrux would decide they didn't want to live forever after all? The only thing that could do it would be to regret committing the murder that created it." She started stirring her tea again.

"It must have been awful for him," said Ginny. " If someone I cared about asked me to kill them, I don't think I would be able to do it, even if they were dying."

"Yeah," said Harry. "Severus told me he hated Dumbledore for asking him to do it. That's what split his soul in two in the first place." He sat back, nestled closer to Ginny, then froze, a realization suddenly dawning on him. "That's it! Ginny, you are bloody brilliant!" he said, and kissed her hard on the mouth. Then he jumped up, hurriedly put on his traveling cloak, and grabbed his broomstick.

"Harry what is it?" Ginny asked. "Where are you going?"

"To Hogwarts," he told her. "I'm going to have a talk with Severus." He opened the door, stepped out into the night, and disapparated.

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Severus climbed the stairs to the Astronomy tower. It was dark. He lit his wand, but the light seemed to be absorbed by the darkness. Finally, he reached the roof, opened the door, and stepped through it. As he had done so many times before, he knelt and touched the spot where his horcrux lay. It was gone now. Argus Filch had taken the stones up over the weekend, and they had been removed to a clearing in the Dark Forest. The unpaved roof looked like a raw wound.

He shivered with a cold that had nothing to do with the icy wind that tore at his robes. He had tried for a month to mend his soul, to find that place of forgiveness that would allow him to, finally, feel the remorse that would heal him- heal him, and possibly kill him. He had tried, and he had failed. He had one more night, one last desperate chance. In the morning, some officials from the Ministry of Magic would be coming to destroy his horcrux, and with it, his only chance of becoming a complete human being.

He moved toward the wall and looked down. He wondered what would happen to the part of him that remained after the horcrux was destroyed. Would he, after all, be able to learn to feel again? Would he be able to love? Or would he live a half-life, unable to feel anything but the shallowest of emotions? He thought of Voldemort, with his soul divided into eight pieces, so quick to anger, unable to comprehend love. Was that what he was destined to become? If so, he wanted no part of it. He considered jumping, letting his body fall to lie broken on the ground in the spot where Dumbledore had lain so many years before.

Serene would be hurt, he knew. But Serene deserved far more than he could ever give her. She was young. She could find love again. He looked back toward the door with longing. She had followed him to the tower in silence, but had remained at the foot of the stairs, allowing him to make the climb alone. She understood. This was his battle to fight, and there was nothing she could do but wait to tend his wounds, should he survive it.

A dark shape passed over him; a figure on a broomstick circled the tower and landed behind him. He didn't need to look to see who it was. "Hello, Harry," he said numbly.

"Hello, Severus," said Harry, approaching him. "I had a feeling I might find you here." He leaned his broomstick against the wall. They stood together in silence for a while, then Harry spoke again. "You still haven't forgiven him, have you?"

"No," Severus replied, with no further comment.

"You still hate him." Harry's tone was unexpectedly harsh.

"Yes," he admitted.

Harry now turned and looked him square in the face. "You don't have the right to hate him."

Severus stepped back, shocked. He couldn't believe what he was hearing. "You don't know what it was like," he snarled. "You don't know what it is to have to kill someone you…" he found he couldn't finish the sentence. He turned away, hot anger rising within him.

"Having to kill someone you, what? You can't say the word, can you?"

Severus didn't reply. He drew his robes tight around him, against the cold.

"Damn it, Severus, look at me," Harry shouted. He turned around, to see Harry, anger flashing in his eyes. "You have no right to hate Dumbledore. He took you in, gave you a second chance when you didn't deserve it."

"He needed a spy," said Severus, now on the defensive. "He agreed to protect your mother in exchange for my services."

"He would have protected her even if you hadn't agreed to work for him, and you know it. He took you in because he thought you were worth saving."

"He was wrong," Severus sneered.

"He was right. He saw good in you when no one else could see it, when you couldn't even see it in yourself. And he was right. You put your life on the line to save people you hated. How many people would do that?"

"He used me," Severus spat, turning away again.

"He loved you."

Pain shot through Severus as though something inside were beginning to tear open. He didn't want to hear this. He stared hard at the snow-covered ground, tears now stinging his eyes. He began shaking violently.

"And you loved him." Severus looked at him in bewilderment. Harry continued. "You hate Dumbledore for the same reason you hated me. You hate him because you were afraid of losing someone you loved."

Severus had no defense against this. He looked at Harry, meeting his eyes. _Lily's eyes, _thought mutely. "I did," he finally admitted. "I did love him." A sob escaped him. Then he felt a searing pain, ripping him open at his very core, and the world went black.

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Serene sat at the bottom of the stairs, pulling at her hair. She had wanted to follow Severus to the roof, to comfort him, but in the end, she let him go, and sat waiting, yanking out strands of her hair. She had developed a couple of small bald patches over the past weeks, fretting for him. No one had noticed; her curly hair camouflaged the bare skin. She looked up at the darkened stairwell. If Severus didn't come down soon, she was going to go up and check on him.

Suddenly, she heard the door open and she stood and raced to the top of the stairs. She saw not one, but two silhouettes, one supporting the other. She lit her wand, and saw Harry Potter, half-carrying, half-dragging Severus's unconscious form. She ran to them, slid an arm around Severus's waist, and helped Harry carry him down the stairs. The harsh sound of his breathing reassured her he was still alive. They reached the bottom of the stairs, and gently laid him down on the floor. As they did so, Severus suddenly opened his eyes. They were blank, unseeing, the skin of his face taut with agony. His breathing came fast, each exhaled breath a sharp cry.

"Severus." Serene called his name, but he didn't seem to hear. She turned his face toward hers, and, after a moment, dim recognition seemed to flicker into his eyes. Then they closed again, and he went limp in her arms. She leaned down, and was relieved to find he was still breathing.

"What happened?" Serene asked, anxiously. "Did he…"

"Yeah, I think he did," Harry replied simply. "He needs you, now."

Serene drew her wand and pointed it down the hall toward the hospital wing, summoning a stretcher. She and Harry put Severus on it, and carried him to her rooms. They took him into the bedroom, and laid him on her bed. Serene sat down, and took his head onto her lap, stroking his hair. Harry covered him with an afghan he found draped over a chair. "Are you all right?" he asked. Serene nodded. Harry straightened the afghan, covering Severus more warmly, then went out to her living room, and sat down in a chair to wait.


	19. Chapter 19

Severus stood on the rooftop, looking up at the night sky. He could still see the Dark Mark where it hovered over the castle. It was fading now.

"Oh, hello Severus. Are you still here?" Dumbledore asked.

"Yes, I'm still here," Severus replied calmly. The wind picked up. It sounded like a woman crying.

"Still angry with me, I suppose." Severus looked over his shoulder, and saw Dumbledore was smiling gently.

"A little, yes," he admitted. He turned to face Dumbledore fully. "I wish…" he began haltingly. "I wish there had been another way."

"So do I," the old man replied. "On the whole, I would have preferred to die peacefully in my sleep. Alas, fate had other plans for us." He turned to the door, opened it, and stepped inside. He turned and looked back. "Coming, Severus?"

He didn't reply, and Dumbledore disappeared. Severus looked up, and watched the wind blow the last tattered traces of Voldemort's mark away. Then he turned, and walked through the door, closing it behind him.

He opened his eyes to find Serene sitting over him, her eyes closed, lids red and puffy. She had been crying. Her head lolled sideways, the headboard of her bed biting into her cheek. She didn't look at all comfortable. He raised his head, which he now realized was in her lap, and found that her fingers were entwined in his hair. He took all of this as a fair indication that he wasn't dead.

He felt raw inside, in the place where his soul had torn itself open to receive its missing half. He supposed that was to be expected. He reached up to touch Serene's face and stroke her hair. Then, gently, he grasped her shoulder and shook her. She stirred to wakefulness, and saw him looking up at her. Her eyes brightened, and she raised him up to hold him close, then she broke into tears. "Severus," she choked, as she released him to lie in her lap once more. "I thought you were dying."

He smiled, and laid a hand against her cheek. "How could I die when I have so much to live for?" he asked, and then she laughed, tears still streaming from her eyes, falling on his face. He sat up and pulled her to him, their arms encircling one another. A wave of emotion rose inside him, and crashed behind his eyes, and he too broke into tears. They held each other for a long time. Finally, they both relaxed, and he sat back to look at her. Her eyes were red and swollen, lashes encrusted with matter that was dried tears. There was a red crease in her cheek where it had been lying on the headboard. Her hair was a tangled mass. "God, you're beautiful," he said, and she laughed again, and kissed him.

They lay down together, and he drew her close so that her head lay on his shoulder. Her warmth soothed the ache inside him. He stroked her hair, and sighed deeply. "I love you," he whispered. She raised her head and their eyes locked. "With all my soul, I love you."

Silence fell between them. She lay down again, trembling against him. Soon, they were both crying again. They held one another until the tears passed, and they found they were laughing. Serene rolled over onto her back, and Severus propped himself on one elbow, looking down at her. She reached up and ran her fingers through his hair, then took his face in her hands. "I love you, Severus Snape," she told him. " I think I have since I first met you."

Then he reached for her, kissing her tenderly, slipping his hand into her blouse, caressing her, feeling the warmth of her skin, longing for union with her. She pushed his robe off his shoulders, and he extracted his arms from the sleeves, then she wriggled out of her own robe. Her fingers tugged at the buttons of his shirt, finally managing to unfasten them while he undid the buttons of her blouse. He slipped it off of her, and their arms encircled each other, flesh pressed against flesh, the feeling of closeness transcending any physical sensation. His mouth found her throat, then her breasts, and then made its way back to her lips, lingering there, his hand unfastening her skirt and slipping it down over her hips, her panties sliding off with it. She pushed it off the bed with her foot. Her hands moved lightly over his back, his shoulders, his chest, making his flesh tingle. They found his trousers, and unfastened them. They joined her skirt on the floor.

Warmth flooded flooded Severus as he reached for her body, feeling a desire that was more than physical. She sighed as he entered her, moaned as he moved within her. They moved together as one, as though their souls were united as well as their bodies. Soon her breath was coming in short gasps. He rode the waves of her climax. Moments later, Severus shuddered, breathing fast. He felt as though cool water were washing over him as he released himself within her. He bent his head down to kiss her, then withdrew himself from her and collapsed beside her. "I love you," they both whispered at the same time, then giggled. Finally, she snuggled up against him, her head on his shoulder, arm across his chest. He pulled her close against him, and together they drifted off into a deep sleep.

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Serene woke to find Severus sleeping peacefully beside her. Daylight was trying to get through the window, but the snow that stuck to her windowpane was refusing to allow it. She kissed his hooked nose. He stirred, but did not awaken. She lay watching him sleep for a while, still feeling drowsy. She nestled against him, and then remembered that Harry Potter was probably still sitting in her outer room, waiting for news. She reluctantly slipped out from under the afghan, kissed Severus on the cheek, and went into the bathroom. She washed the dried sweat from her body with a wet washcloth, splashed her face with cool water, then picked up her hairbrush and tried to brush her hair. She soon gave up, it was badly snarled, and applied her wand to the task instead. Finally, she stepped back out into the bedroom, dressed, used a de-wrinkling charm on her badly mussed robes, and went out into the living room.

Harry was sitting in a chair; head drooping, with a book on his lap. She gently slid it from his hands and looked at it. He had been reading her bound collection of_The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy._ The man certainly had good taste in literature. She laid the book on the coffee table, and picked up the chenille throw from the back of the couch. She was just about to cover him, when he woke up, looking a bit startled. "Oh, hi," he said.

"Hey," she replied, and tossed the throw back onto the couch.

Harry rubbed his neck, and then asked, "So, how is he?"

"Sleeping," she replied simply.

"So, he's all right, then?" Harry sounded hopeful.

Serene couldn't help smiling. "He's fine," she said. "He got bit emotional, but I guess that's to be expected." She summoned Cricket, her favorite house elf, and sent her to fetch toast and tea. Then she sat down on the couch. "I don't think it was a coincidence that you just happened to be on the roof last night."

"No, it wasn't," Harry admitted. "I came looking for him."

Cricket reappeared with the tea tray, then vanished again. Serene began to stir honey into her tea, then dunked a corner of a slice of toast into it and took a bite. Finally, she asked, "What happened up there, Harry?"

She chewed on her toast and listened as Harry related what had occurred on the rooftop. After spending a minute or two absorbing what he had told her, she said, "Seems like you were a bit harsh with him."

"I had to be," Harry told her. "He had less than twelve hours before half of his soul went up in Fiendfyre. I couldn't just sit by and let that happen to him. The only thing I could think of was to try to shock some sense into him."

"Well, it seems to have worked, I'll give you that," she said.

"Yeah, it worked. It was a bit scary, though. I was half afraid he wouldn't get his soul back together, and the other half was afraid he'd die if he did."

"I was sitting there on the stairs thinking the same thing," Serene told him.

"As it turns out, neither of you had anything to be afraid of."

Harry and Serene both started at the sound of Severus's voice, and turned to see him, wrapped in a robe, leaning languidly in the doorway. Serene jumped up and went to kiss him. They exchanged a warm hug, and then Severus retreated through the doorway. She looked back at Harry, and felt her face flush hot when his expression told her he realized what the two of them had gotten up to in the bedroom while he sat sleeping in her chair.

Severus emerged from the bedroom a few minutes later, fully dressed. He sat down next to Serene, slipping an arm around her waist. "You've haven't left me any toast," he scolded, eying the crumbs on the tea tray.

"It would have been cold anyway," she said. "I think the tea's still warm, though."

"But I'm hungry," Severus complained. "I want some toast. With jam."

"Fine, then." She summoned Cricket again, and sent her to fetch more toast.

Harry grinned. "Look at you two, acting like an old married couple," he teased. He looked at his watch. "The Minister will be here in half an hour. Are you going to come out and watch?"

Severus tilted his head. "Now, why would I want to go out in the cold and watch some silly people burn up some old paving stones?" he asked. Cricket arrived with the toast, and then vanished again. Severus began to spread jam on a slice, and Harry and Serene also helped themselves.

After they had demolished the stack of toast, and washed it down with tea, Harry looked at his watch again. "I'd best be off. The Minister will be waiting."

"I'll walk you out," said Severus. Serene rose to join them, but Severus gave her a look that told her he wanted to talk to Harry in private.

Harry and Severus left her rooms and walked toward the entrance hall. A few students who had remained at the castle for the holidays eyed them curiously, wondering what Harry Potter was doing there. "You're sure you don't want to come and watch?" Harry asked. "We can toast marshmallows after."

Severus smiled. "Quite sure. My soul is back in one piece. I have no particular need to witness the destruction of a bit of inanimate stone." They stopped, and Severus turned to face him. "Thank you, Harry," he said quietly.

They embraced. When they let go of each other, Harry saw that Severus had tears in his eyes. "You're amazing, you know that," he said. "You really are the bravest man I've ever known."

"I'll try not to let it go to my head," Severus replied. "Now go on, have your little marshmallow roast." He shooed Harry away toward main entrance, and turned and headed back to Serene's room. Harry watched him disappear down the side corridor, then stepped out into the snow.

He found his way to the clearing, where the paving stones lay stacked in a pyramid. Kingsley Shacklebolt stood on the far side, along with Bernard Beardsley, his chief undersecretary. Minerva McGonagall stood to one side, her expression grave. Ron and Hermione stood next to her. They had come along to offer moral support. It wasn't going to be needed. Marcie Carrington stood nearby, nervously fingering her wand. When she saw Harry, she hurried toward him. "Isn't he coming?" she asked.

"No, he's not."

"Is he... is he going to be all right?" she asked, in hushed tones.

Harry laid a hand on her shoulder. "Yes, he's going to be fine," he reassured her. They entered the clearing together. "Right, then, let's do this," he said. Shacklebolt nodded to Marcie, who raised her wand, and fire issued from it. Soon, the stones were burning like dry cordwood. After a few minutes, fiery dragons and serpents issued from the flames, and Marcie deftly turned them back into the pile. Soon there was nothing left but smoldering embers. Harry gazed at them, wishing he really had brought marshmallows.

"So, that's it, then," Shacklebolt finally said, anticlimactically. The little group gathered on one side of the clearing. There would be no official report of the event. Officially, the horcrux had never existed, and Harry knew Shacklebolt wanted to keep it that way.

"I suppose I'd better go look in on Severus," Minerva said quietly. Harry quickly pulled her aside.

"I don't think that's a good idea, Professor," he whispered. "When I left the castle, he was headed back to Professor Carlin's room. I think they'll, um, want to be alone."

Minerva brightened, understanding. "Of course. Well, then, I suppose I'll be seeing them at dinner."

Ron and Hermione came over, wanting to know what had happened the night before. He told them in detail, fully aware that Shacklebolt was standing nearby, eavesdropping. Harry realized that the Minister had been more concerned about Severus than he had been letting on. Finally, Minerva went back to the castle, and Harry and the others walked back to the gate, and apparated back to London.

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Severus spent that first day in intermittent bouts of crying. Serene fretted at first, then seemed to realize that his tears were simply emotional cleansing, and, aside from making sure he had an unending supply of hot chocolate, let him alone.

Christmas came, and the sky was dumping great flurries of snow over the castle grounds, as if in celebration. Serene had given Severus a broomstick, a serviceable but elegant black lacquered Cleansweep, and now the two of them were having a wonderful time chasing each other through the air over the castle. Those students who had come out to play in the snow stopped to watch them, not sure if they approved of grownups having such great fun. Severus had teasingly promised to give Serene her present later, keeping her in suspense wondering what he had gotten her.

Eventually, the pair grew tired. They cruised lazily to the covered bridge and landed, rested their broomsticks on the rail and looked out to watch the snow fall. "If this keeps up, we'll have to dig a tunnel to Hogsmeade Station before the students come back," Serene commented brightly.

"No, I think we should let them dig their own way back," Severus replied. "It'll build character," He looked at Serene. She had snowflakes stuck to her eyelashes. He caught her chin in his hand and tilted her face up toward his. "Do you know that you are almost unconscionably pretty?" he asked her.

She grinned. "The last guy who said that to me shagged me once, and dumped me," she teased.

"Did he now?" Severus smiled. "And I suppose you intend to make me atone for his sins." He slipped his hand into the pocket of his robe, fingering the velvet box that lay within.

"Yes. I plan to make you spend the rest of your life atoning," she said, saucily.

"Then, perhaps this will do for a start." He drew the box out and opened it, showing her the ring inside. It was a silver band, with an inlaid rose, petals made of ruby, with emerald leaves. "Will you marry me?" he asked softly.

Her eyes filled with tears, which cascaded down her cheeks to mix with melting snow. "Yes," she said, choking up. "I will marry you." Severus tugged the mitten off her left hand and slipped the ring onto Serene's finger. They kissed, and then Serene buried her face in his cloak. He held her for a while, feeling her warmth. Eventually, they let go of one another.

"Happy Christmas, Serene," Severus said, and kissed her again.

"Happy Christmas, Severus," she replied, smiling at him. They picked up their broomsticks, and walked slowly hand in hand back toward the castle. They were in no hurry. They had the rest of their lives.


End file.
